President and fulltime game show host, Donald J. TRump, was spotted while not tweeting on Sunday as he prepared to award some losers in striped shirts, The President’s Cup trophy— a nasty looking gold-plated spitoon-like thing, nearly big enough to fit on TRump’s head.
I’m not always comfortable explaining how I happen upon some of the weird magazines I review, and this one is no exception. MAGA MAGAzine; I see what you did there. But this version of “MAGA” is not Donald TRump’s version; this one claims to be “MAKE AMERICA GLORIOUS ALLELUIA.” My guess was “Make America Grotesque Again.” But yeah …
Fact #1. I don’t belong here— I’m innocent. I’m only sorta kidding. Our planet Urantia is, in a peculiar sense, a prison/playpen for self-conscious monkey men. Granted, it’s a large, spectacularly beautiful and complex prison, and it would seem, a prison very poorly run, for the most part, by the most unqualified inmates; but there’s way more to it …
In the movie Pulp Fiction, Samuel L. Jackson takes a bite out of Brett’s tasty Big Kahuna burger, and washes it down with Brett’s tasty beverage. It’s just a little scary pretext for the brutal destruction that is moments away.
You may own guns and you may even own tanks; but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.
The first human beings were not Caucasians. They were not black; they were not yellow; they were not red, orange, green, or blue. They were brown.
Murderous rat and fictional television President,
Francis Underwood, exists in a world of make-believe, fake news, and lies. Or does he.
So. Your Pussy Grabber Commander-in-Cheeze has tweeted about how hard it was for his children (especially Barron), to see what he thought was his absentee father’s severed head— being held up by that stuff he calls hair— by a comedian who placed 17th on the Oxygen Pollution Channel’s 2017 list of “The 50 Funniest Women Alive Who Believe In Free Speech.” That’s right: Barron and Melania were …
Unless, of course, you don’t believe in God. In that case, thank the total chance existence of a great sequencer of an apparently infinite number of sequential moments of reality that, lucky for us, somehow attaches to— and brings forth out of nothing?— the individual consciousness of billions of sentient beings on this planet, and no doubt many trillions more …
Hello American people, as I begin my very important first trip to another great hemisphere, I want to tell you that I will be thinking and working for you while I’m busy doing other things, believe me.
HOMS, SYRIA — Across America there are still many thousands of imbecilic children of voting age who actually believe Donald J. Trump when he claims video of Syrian children being gassed really changed him. This, from a person who publicly stated his disgust over a mother being excused from a courtroom to pump breast milk to nurse her baby. But babies …
The list of Trump claims above is not simply campaign braggadocio; nor is it just a collection of obvious lies; it is an alarming indictment of his mental health, every claim more ridiculous and false than the last. Nobody knew how deeply troubled Trump really was until he ran for office. Nobody knew how quickly he could tell one lie after another, …
Someone remembered that Kellyanne Conway, counselor to the #FakePresident, lies just as much but a lot more cleverly than her cheeto daddy does.
TYRANTOSAURUS RUMP— the latest moniker to slur your flailing so-called president, is not just a riff on the old fart’s rage-aholicism, or his stumpy digits.
Donald Trump is dangerously mentally ill and temperamentally incapable of being president. He has “malignant narcissism”— which is incurable.
No, NASA did not invent thunderstorms to cover up the sound of space battles. That’s some shit from the alternative universe.
So dude— how’re those New Year’s Resolutions working out for you. . . Still weigh the same? (Me too.) Still self-medicating too much? (Yeah.) Still not exercising (bowling is not exercise) every day? (Me either.) Maybe you should just read a great book instead. A real l l l l ly great book.
Mitch McConnell’s strategy of blaming everything that’s wrong in the world on Barack Obama has been wildly effective.
Here in no particular order, are some of our all-time favorite Insane Repugs, depicted in our favorite way:
This svelte young swine and multi-billionaire knows something that you and Bernie Sanders do not: That way too much is never enough.
If you are earning more than a million dollars a year and are complaining about a 3.6% tax increase, then you are by definition, a greedy asshole…
The extraordinary event began unfolding at approximately 9 AM EST at the Bainbridge House Ballroom when a man…strode to the podium and exclaimed, “Peace be upon you. I am the person you know as Jesus of Nazareth.”
WASHINGTON D.C. — An apparently tough as nails Sean Hannity of Fox News has personally undergone what he called a “fair and balanced interrogation technique” to prove a point: fourth-degree burns are not torture.
He trusted in God to deliver him. He even claimed to be the Son of God— look at him now— crucified between two thieves.