Winning The Crowd

January, 24, 2012 15:37 pm · 0 comments

by Propagandee

“Are you not entertained?”

Like professional comedians who will say anything  for a laugh, no matter how outrageous, politicians like Newt Gingrich will say anything to invoke a sense of outrage.

This is both the Newtster’s greatest political strength and greatest weakness. While appealing to the baser emotions of anger, fear, and resentment plays well with the Teabagger activists who dominate the Rethuglican primaries, appeals to the lizard brain will doom him in the general election, if his nationwide disapproval rating of nearly 60% is any indication.

You’ll notice that during Monday’s debate in Tampa hosted by NBC that the Newtster’s performance was noticably more subdued than previous ones, most especially Thursday night’s debate moderated by CNN’s John King. Pundits gave varying reasons: he was trying to look more presidential, he was trying to appeal to a more diverse (i.e., less racist) demographic, the moderator (Brian Williams) concentrated more on policy differences rather than “character issues” etc.

But it seems to be the most critical difference was the venue, specifically the restriction on live audience reaction to statements from either the participants  or the moderator. In fact, Gingrich stated today that he won’t participate in future debates that don’t allow for the animal spirits of the audience to run free.

“We’re going to serve notice on future debates,” he told Fox. “We’re just not going to allow that to happen. That’s wrong. The media doesn’t control free speech. People ought to be allowed to applaud if they want to.”

In my previous post, Vox Populi Lacerta (rough Latin translation: Voice of the Lizard People), I cited Howard Feinman‘s compilation of audience reactions to previous GOP debates. Rhetorical red meat has come in the form of  anti-government, classist, race baiting rants and one-liners that have fueled Gingrich’s meteoric rise in the polls.

History’s best demagogues seem to be those who are able to arouse, channel, and embody the raw emotions of their audiences. Adolph Hitler was a master of the technique, casting the German people as victims of a post WW I reparation scheme by Communists, French industrialists, and Jewish bankers. By feeding off the reactions of the crowd, Hitler achieved ever greater heights of speechifying  frenzy, notwithstanding that  many of his public tirades began in a timid and halting manner.

Hitler’s designated heir, Reichmarshall Hermann Goering, likewise understood the dynamics of  mass psychology, especially at it concerns whipping up a populace for war.

“Why of course the people don’t want war … But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship … Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”

(Not that Newt is alone in identifying Iran as the next, most likely target of US aggression. Rick Santorum and Willard Romney have also issued full throated verbal attacks against the Iranian regime. Ron Paul is, mercifully, the notable exception.)

In the 2000 movie Gladiator, Proximo (Oliver Reed), a former slave who won his freedom fighting in the Coliseum, instructed his understudy and rising star, Maximus (Russell Crowe):

“Listen to me. Learn from me. I was not the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom.”

Gingrich has thus far been succesful in winning the kind of crowds that, consciously or unconsciously, reject what Abraham Lincoln called “the better angels of our nature.”  In very short order, Gingrich has turned Romney’s huge lead in the national polls into a 9 point deficit, a swing of some 25 points.

Faced with this reality, Romney is now trying to appear more aggressive and confrontational. Temperamentally, he  is ill-suited to the task. Willard gives new meaning to the nonsensical notion of scripted spontaneity. Trying to appeal to the working man, he styles himself as just another one of the unemployed, imagining what it would be like to receive a pink slip.  Barking “Woof, woof who let the dogs out,” he feigns having his butt pinched by admiring waitresses.  His phoniness aside, if he doesn’t find a way to connect with the lowest common denominator of the Rethug voter base, he will never regain his former status as Mr. Inevitable.

This reversal of electoral fortune is freaking out the Rethug establishment, who more than anything, dread a Gingrich nomination because of what they perceive as his ultimate unelectability. What was thought impossible just a couple of weeks ago may yet come to pass– a brokered convention where the nominee is appointed by elites in smoke filled rooms.  That would piss off the hard core Teabaggers something fierce, paving the way for the emergence of a third party candidate more reflective of their values.

Time to replenish my already depleted popcorn stash and to consider buying some popcorn futures. It’s a long way to the Rethug nomination, and the GOP’s circular firing squad is busy reloading.

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

Satan Stands With Newt

January, 23, 2012 21:00 pm · 0 comments

by T_P_K

The Newter sneaks a glance at his bossman’s flag pin; or was it just tie envy. If you wanna see Newt’s rouge, you must click it.

 

COLUMBIA, S.C. —  Former Luciferian stooge and disgraced fallen angel Satan made a rare personal appearance alongside his boy Newton Leroy Gingrich, and used the occasion to deliver some satanic fire and brimstone on Gingrich’s behalf to a noisy room full of inebriated supporters.

“Newt Gingrich won South Carolina, he will crush Romney and the remaining clown car in Florida, and he will annihilate them in all the other states with a preponderance of racist crackers like you,” jeered the prince of darkness;  the witless crowd roared its approval.

A tubby and imperious Newt stood tight-lipped as Satan continued his incendiary remarks:  “Newt Gingrich is not— as the notorious religious cultist Willard Romney would have you believe, an immoral, hypocritical, womanizing pudge-ball.   I tell you that Newton Leroy Gingrich just happens to be history’s finest example of an amoral narcissistic elitist ever produced by American politics, and that’s why he has my complete support.”

Satan continued, “Romney has been campaigning for five years and has never created any heat, because he has not asked for my help.  But with my support, Newt Gingrich will  bring the heat— and turn your backward little democracy into a giant inferno of change.”

As any knowledgeable historian knows, Satan is popularly known as the personification of evil and is a powerful Christian icon;  more recently he has been a familiar face on Capital Hill.  This was apparently his first public appearance with Gingrich since a mysterious superpac began running ads on South Carolina media claiming Gingrich has made a deal with the Devil for the Republican Party presidential nomination.

Satan refused to take any questions, but did volunteer that without his wicked bad support, Gingrich would be just another lying pseudo-historian/lobbyist loser, and predicted that if conservatives and other fringey ideologues were foolish enough to select Romney, he would go on to lose the 2012 election to Barack Obama in a spectacular landslide.

He concluded his remarks with a long personification of evil glare, saying, “You’ve been warned.”

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

Vox Populi Lacerta

January, 20, 2012 10:09 am · 2 comments

by Propagandee

Toute nation a le gouvernement qu’elle mérite. 

 -Joseph de Maistre, letter of August 15, 1811

If what Monsieur de Maistre says is true, Every country has the government it deserves, one has to wonder just what kind of country we’ll be living in should the GOP succeed in taking over the government next year.

If the brainstems who have comprised the audience of the 22 GOP presidential debates thus far are any indication, we will have devolved to the point where racism, fear, torture, and sociopathy are again the order of the day.

Howard Feinman, in his post yesterday before last night’s debate in North Charleston, South Carolina, puts the spotlight where it belongs:

Candidates’ attacks, gaffes and memory lapses have dominated coverage of the 21 Republican debates so far, but reporters are covering the wrong people. The real story isn’t on the stage; it’s in the audience.

Howard reprises some of their greatest hits:

- Cheering Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s embrace of the death penalty.

- Cheering the idea that an uninsured man should be left to die.

- Booing Perry’s relatively moderate immigration stance.

- Booing when a gay soldier asks a question about gay rights.

- Cheering for waterboarding and torture.

- Giving Gingrich a standing ovation for rejecting moderator Juan Williams’ comments on race.

In a letter to Charlemagne in 798, Alcuin wrote:

Nec audiendi qui solent dicere, Vox populi, vox Dei, quum tumultuositas vulgi semper insaniae proxima sit.

And those people should not be listened to who keep saying the voice of the people is the voice of God, since the riotousness of the crowd is always very close to madness.

The more things change the more they stay the same.

Miss South Carolina Teen USA explains why Americans are so clueless about the rest of the world

 

h/t Digby

Image by Sandra Yagi

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }

Clueless In Carolina

January, 17, 2012 20:00 pm · 2 comments

by Propagandee

Willard, in another unscripted moment, digs himself a deeper hole

If I had Aladdin’s lamp for only a day,
I’d make a wish and here’s what I’d say
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning

For Willard Mitt Romney, this morning in South Carolina was not such a fine one.   A little over a week ago in a post titled WILLARD, I made some observations about Willard’s personal wealth, estimated to be some $200-250,000,000, concluding:

Though Willard formally left Bain Capital in 1999, he still receives millions of dollars in residuals, as well as income from new ventures. But because such income is given special tax treatment as “carried interest,” aka the hedge fund loophole, it is taxed at 15% and not the 35% rate paid by mere mortals and working stiffs. (Though they are taxed at the same rate of 15%, capital gains require that one’s own capital be at risk. With leveraged buyouts like the KB Toys transaction, most of the money is borrowed. Hence the need for a loophole.)

No wonder Willard won’t release his tax returns.

How time flies. As late as last night’s GOP presidential debate in South Carolina, Romney was still trying to deflect calls from his fellow candidates and the national media to release his tax returns. In sum, he said “Maybe”  stating that April would be a more appropriate time.

Why April? And for which years, exactly? There’s no reason why he couldn’t release his  pre-2011 returns now.  By emphasizing April, perhaps he means to release his 2011 return only, which would enable him to massage it with an eye to the primary and election.

During a press availability this morning, he tried to defuse the issue of what rate he pays. Huffpo reports:

In Greenville, S.C., Romney was asked directly what his effective tax rate is. It was a hot topic of discussion at Monday night’s debate, at which Romney repeatedly declined to fully commit to release his tax returns.

“It’s probably closer to the 15 percent rate than anything,” said Romney on Tuesday. “For the past 10 years, my income comes overwhelmingly from investments made in the past, rather than ordinary income or earned annual income.

Okay, so now we know why Willard didn’t want to release his tax returns during the GOP primary– he pays less than people serving in the military, and less than half the rate that working stiffs pay. I’m sure the Teabaggers will be impressed by his ‘success’ as a Wall Street banksta.

But it gets worse. Willard continued:

“I got a little bit of income from my book, but I gave that all away. Then, I get speakers fees from time to time, but not very much.”

“Not very much” turns out to $374,000, or about 9 ½ times the average annual US household income.  Truly Willard is a man in tune with the pain of the average Jo.

Now put those comments in context with remarks he made last June at a greasy spoon in Tampa, Florida:

“I wish I had a job for everybody. I may be unemployed for longer than I’d like.”

Would that the 99% be so gainfully unemployed.

Willard was born with a silver spoon in his mouth (just like the last Rethug president). He proves time and time again that he doesn’t have a clue about the financial plight of tens of millions of ordinary working men and women, many of whom are a single paycheck or medical illness away from financial ruin.

Willard the Man is the very embodiment of what should be the overarching narrative of the 2012 presidential election– wealth disparity, which  according to Willard is a topic best discussed in “quiet rooms.”

Willard is the candidate of the privileged 1%, President Obama (by default)  the champion of  everyone else. For the 99% who might question the growing gulf between themselves and the uber rich, Willard has a simple explanation–  they suffer from one of the seven deadly sins, envy.

Charlie Pierce, as usual, nails it:

One bad word, a single off-key phrase, can kill you as a candidate.

In case you missed it…Willard, had one of those moments yesterday, when Matt Lauer was chatting with him about the way he had made an additional fortune at the corporate chop-shop known as Bain Capital.

Willard’s initial response to criticism on this score was to paint everyone criticizing him as being jealous of Willard’s fabulous life. Lauer asked him:

 ”Are there no fair questions about the distribution of wealth without it being seen as envy, though?”

Willard thereupon dropped a bomb on himself.

 “You know I think it’s fine to talk about those things in quiet rooms…. But the president has made this part of his campaign rally. Everywhere he goes we hear him talking about millionaires and billionaires and executives and Wall Street. It’s a very envy-oriented, attack-oriented approach.”

Those words, and the entitled attitude with which they are so luxuriously chandeliered, should kill any campaign being conducted in 2012. The country is still staggering, blinking, out of the rubble of an economy that was shattered by an industry full to its gunwales with Willard Romneys. He is campaigning in South Carolina, where unemployment is pushing up at 10 percent. Do those people want to leave their fates up to a bunch of fancy haircuts in “quiet rooms” where they discuss how much more flesh they can pick off the carcass of what is laughingly called the “middle class” of this country?

Quiet rooms?

You mean like the one where these wonderful conversations took place among our lords of the universe, and aren’t they so very cute as they sit there making their funnies and giggle like the Pep Club while the tectonic plates of the national economy crack under their feet?

[….]

“Quiet rooms” should be enough. Willard Romney, stripper of companies, looter of pension, career gombeen man for the most unproductive “industry” in the history of man, thinks that a discussion of the nation’s staggering gap in inequality, and of the steady decline of a functioning middle-class, should be conducted in private, and not in the streets, where those hippies and their drum circles might disturb the plush japery of their betters. This is because, for Willard Romney, the world is divided into two kinds of people: Willard Romney and The Help.

[…]

You know what else is a quiet room? A courtroom is a quiet room, and far too many of the people who wrecked the economy have not seen the inside of one, either criminal or civil, or both. You know what else is a quiet room?

A cell is a quiet room.

Amen to that.

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }

 

The first commercial from Stephen Colbert‘s Super PAC debuted today. Titled Mitt the Ripper (voice narration by John Lithgow), it portrays the GOP front runner as a serial killer of companies targeted by his former private equity firm, Bain Capital.

From a black and white cartoon of a Jack the Ripper character holding a fistfull of dollars; to a ‘downsized’ body being dragged down a corridor of office cubicles; to a scene in which Willard’s infamous “Corporations are people, my friend” declaration is slowed down and repeated in a creepy voice modulation reminiscent of the sci-fi movie Predator (where the antagonist, a buff, dreadlocked, state of the art weaponry wielding alien hunter, processes and mimics human speech prior to ripping  out their skulls and spinal columns and holding them up as trophies); to another allusion to the corps are people meme where, instead of cute little babies in a hospital nursery, three corporate logos are nestled comfortably in their cribs; to the concluding scene  that has Willard feeding more corporate logos into one end of a wood chipper with dollar bills flying out other (shades of the movie Fargo), the ad concludes by asking viewers to vote for The Non-Romney.

Hats off to Colbert and the creative staff at Comedy Central for doing more than anyone to highlight the dangerous absurdity of the US Supreme Court’s ruling in Citizens United that made Super PACS possible.

Meanwhile, Mitt the Candidate finds himself in something of a pickle, having to decide between running on his record as a one term governor of Massachusetts, or on his record as CEO of Bain Capital (the corporate raider arm of the more traditional venture capital operations of Bain and Company).

As governor, Mittens’ two most prominent ‘achievements’ were his institution of the country’s first mandated health insurance regime, anathema to the Teabaggers who comprise the most active constiuency of the GOP; and for his record of job creation, a pitiful 47th when compared to his fellow governors. No wonder that he has decided to stress his record as Bain Capital’s CEO instead.

But a closer inspection of his main claim to fame, that during his leadership the company had created 100,000 jobs, has proved suspect. This has forced his campaign to reduce that number to tens of thousands, and even more recently, to mere thousands.*** As has been pointed out by one of his former partners, Bain Capital isn’t in the business of job creation but rather wealth creation for its small cadre of investors. If more money can be extracted by slashing a company’s work force and reducing the benefits and wages of those who remain, that’s just that much more booty for the investors.

Then there is the additional wealth extracted by leveraging a company’s assets and replacing it with debt, a big chunk of which is used to pay off the investors at a tidy profit while the remainder is used to expand the business. Sometimes that works to the long term benefit of a company, other times it forces it into bankruptcy, long after Romney’s Raiders have pocketed their millions and moved on to fresher game.

They don’t call it vulture capitalism for nuttin’.

UPDATE: (12/15/12) Stephen was interviewed, in character, this morning on ABC’s This Week With George Stephanopolus. Full clip here.

*UPDATE2: (12/16/12) Via TalkingPointsMemo.com, a video mash-up of the devolution of Romney’s job creation claims.

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

WILLARD (Update)

January, 10, 2012 18:32 pm · 0 comments

by Propagandee

Willard’s karmic rats come home to roost

After Willard Mitt Romney’s Super PAC, Restore Our Future, carpet bombed former GOP frontrunner Newt Gingrich with millions of dollars of negative campaign ads in Iowa, Willard is getting a taste of its own medicine courtesy of Newt’s own newly formed Super PAC, Winning Our Future.

Funded with a 5 million dollar check from billionaire casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, the money has already been put to devastating effect viz its purchase of a 27 minute documentary titled “When Mitt Romney Came To Town.”  This rather slick production features interviews with victims of Romney’s private equity firm, Bain Capital.

Newt’s Super PAC attacks Willard’s record at Bain Capital

Private equity firms typically buy a company using a minimum amount of its own cash and a maximum  amount of borrowed money secured by that company’s assets, ostensibly to “streamline” its operations. However, these “leveraged buyouts” often result in the target company’s eventual bankruptcy because the amount of debt proves unsustainable (the fate of 22% of Bain Capital’s takeovers).  A company’s entire workforce can be thrown out of work, and in small towns, the peripheral effects on the business community can be fatal.

But that doesn’t matter to the denizens of Willard’s World, private investors who laugh all the way to the bank no matter the wreckage they leave behind. As one Romney partner explained:

I never thought of what I do for a living as job creation. The primary goal of private equity is to create wealth for your investors.” 

Let’s zoom in on some of Willard’s victims, starting with KB Toys. Via The New York Times (emphases mine):

The 2000 purchase of KB Toys, then one of the country’s largest toy retailers, became one of the most contentious.

As in most Bain deals, the partnership put up a small fraction of the money — in this case $18 million — and borrowed the rest of the $302 million purchase price. Just 16 months later, the toy company borrowed more to pay Bain and its investors an $85 million dividend.

That gave Mr. Romney and the other partners a quick 370 percent return on their money. But it also left the toy company with a heavy debt burden. Before long, the company began closing stores around the country  and laid off 3,400 workers. It filed for bankruptcy protection in 2004.”

Similarly, Bain Capital’s purchase of Clear Channel resulted in pink slips for 2,500 of its employees (ibid).

Then there’s the case of GS Industries…

“…the 10th-biggest Bain investment in the Romney years. Bain formed GSI in the early 1990s by spending $24 million to acquire and merge steel companies with plants in Missouri, South Carolina and other states.

Company managers cut jobs and benefits almost immediately. Meanwhile, Bain and other investors  received management fees from GSI and a $65-million dividend in the first years after the acquisition, according to interviews with company employees.

In 1999, as economic challenges mounted, GSI sought a federal loan guarantee intended to help steel companies compete internationally. The loan deal was approved, but in 2001, before it could be used, the company went bankrupt, two years after Romney left Bain.

More than 700 workers were fired, losing not only their jobs but health insurance, severance and a chunk of their pension benefits. GSI retirees also lost their health insurance and other benefits. Bain partners received about $50 million on their initial investment, a 100% gain.

But it’s not like Willard isn’t capable of feeling the pain of the unemployed.  He told an audience in New Hampshire Sunday that (despite being born with a silver spoon in his mouth and inheriting millions like the last Rethuglican president) he knows the turmoil of being on the receiving end of a pink slip, if only in his own imagination.  Shades of his remarks last summer when he told a group of Florida diners that, like many of them, he too was “unemployed” (omitting the fact that he was still receiving millions of golden parachute dollars from his former company).

Truly a man sympathetic to the sufferings of the downtrodden.

To get a dramatic sense of just how private equity firms operate, consider the classic Oliver Stone film, Wall Street.  The protagonist, a young, ambitious stock broker named Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) gives rat bastard corporate raider Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) insider information about his father’s employer, Bluestar Airlines.  “Greed is Good” proclaims Gekko, as he gains control of the company. But instead of improving it, he raids its pension fund and sells off its other assets.  All of the employees are thrown out of work, including Bud’s father (Martin Sheen).  When Bud angrily confronts Gekko about why he wrecked the company, Gekko sneers at him and replies:  “Because it was wreckable!”  (I guess it could be said that Gekko liked firing people, too…)

Though Willard formally left Bain Capital in 1999, he still receives millions of dollars in residuals, as well as income from new ventures.  But because such income is given special tax treatment as “carried interest,”  aka the hedge fund loophole, it is taxed at 15% and not the 35% rate paid by mere mortals and working stiffs.  (Though they are taxed at the same rate of 15%, capital gains require that one’s own capital be at risk.  With leveraged buyouts like the KB Toys transaction, most of the money is borrowed. Hence the need for a loophole.)

No wonder Willard won’t release his tax returns.

UPDATE: (1/12/12 ) The Full Monty Mitty documentary has now been released and can be seen here.

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

When Super PACs Attack

January, 2, 2012 16:00 pm · 0 comments

by Propagandee

 Romney’s Super PAC carpet bombing Baby Newt over Iowa

Poor Baby Newt, poster child of the post-Citizens United world

A month after Newt Gingrich‘s meteoric rise to the top of the GOP presidential primary, this latest anti-Romney flavor of the month bragged that he was then the  odds-on favorite to win the Rethug presidential nomination. Now, he’s looking more like a dazed survivor of a Dresden scale carpet bombing, wondering WTF.

“I can’t do modern politics,” he whined to a Rotary Club audience at a breakfast early Friday morning in Des Moines, Iowa. This from the guy who did as much as anyone to develop negative campaigning into a vicious art. Stop being such a cry baby, Newt. Take your karma like a man.

According to the latest Marist  and Des Moines Register polls, the Newtster has lost fully half of his previous support during the month of December alone.  What accounts for his sudden demise? No mystery there– just ask any Iowan with a television set, a radio, an internet connection, or a mailbox. Subjected to over $4 million worth of negative political ads from Romney’s Super PAC Restore Our Future alone, the Newtster has been the target of some 45% of all the negative tv ads flooding the Iowan airways. This has reduced the Stay Puft Marshallow man to a burnt, gooey residue of his former self.

newtmellow1

The Newtster in happier days as the Ghostbuster’s’ Gozer the Destructor

What made Super Pacs like ROF possible was, of course, the US Supreme Court‘s ruling in Citizens United.  In addition to magically conferring personhood and thus individual rights on corporations, it cemented the idea that one of those rights, free speech, was the equivalent of cold, hard cash.  In ROF’s case, it has already raised some $30 million worth of  ’free expression.’

In addition to being able to take in unlimited amounts of cash, Super PAC  donations can be, and often are,  anonymous.  Furthermore, it enables candidates to run nothing but positive ads while their affiliated Super Pacs do the hatchet work.

Last Sunday, The LA Times pointed out that:

“This is a radical change,” said Trevor Potter, a Republican election lawyer who advised Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) in his 2008 presidential bid.

If present trends continue, the 2012 election will reverse more than a century of efforts to curb the influence of big money on politics.

During his second term, President Theodore Roosevelt spoke with alarm about the ability of corporate and financial elite — “malefactors of great wealth” — to steer government decisions. In 1907, he signed legislation banning corporate contributions to federal candidates.

This is the same Trevor Potter who used to head up the Federal Elections Commission, and who was hired by comedian Stephen Colbert to set up his own Super PAC. In the clip below, Stephen elicits guidance from Potter as to what freedoms his new Super PAC  allows; and just how thin the veil between a Super PAC and its preferred candidate really is.

(At one point, Colbert summarizes his understanding of the kind of content that Super PAC commercials enables, comparing it to sexual intercourse:  ”If I have my penis in someone’s vagina, that doesn’t mean we’re having sexhe postulates.  To paraphrase Bruce Lee‘s description of his martial art in the classic film,  Enter The Dragon, this is the equivalent of saying Super PAC commercials embody:  ”The art of fucking without fucking.” )

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Colbert Super PAC – Issue Ads – Trevor Potter
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Stephen’s attorney explains the operational parameters of  his new Super PAC

While the $2,500 limit on individual contributions to individual candidates and the yearly limit of $30,800 to party committees still applies, Citizens United has completely blown the lid off how much corporations can give. Individuals who want to give more than the law allows can simply give it to a corporation, which can in turn give it to a Super Pac. Recall that last summer, Romney’s Super Pac received a million bucks each from three individuals working through what were basically dummy corporations. As Open Secrets.org reported it (emphasis mine):

Earlier this year, three donations of $1 million each were given to a super PAC supportive of the presidential campaign of former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. The super PAC was called Restore Our Future. These large sums may not in and of themselves have raised eyebrows. But the identities of the donors certainly did.

One of the donations came from the company W. Spann LLCNBC News reported that the organization was established in March by a Boston lawyer, but that corporate records gave no information about the owner. Nor did the company exist at the listed address. Furthermore, W. Spann LLC was dissolved on July 12, two weeks before the Restore Our Future PAC reported the donation on its first campaign finance filing to the Federal Election Commission. The other notable $1 million donations came from two Utah companies: Eli Publishing and F8 LLC. When a local Utah reporter from Fox 13 visited the address listed for both companies on Restore Our Future’s FEC filing, he found only an accounting firm not affiliated with the pro-Romney PAC.

Since then, employees of Romney’s former (?) vulture capitalism firm, Bain Capital, have ponied up at least another $1.25 million, according to The Center For Responsive Politics.

Though coordination between a candidate’s campaign committee and a Super Pac is nominally illegal, one need only look at the individuals behind Romney’s Super Pac, Restore Our Future, to show just what a joke, or  legal fiction,  that is.  According to The New York Times:

They include Carl Forti, the political director of Mr. Romney’s 2008 campaign; Charles R. Spies, Mr. Romney’s former chief counsel; and Larry McCarthy, an alumnus of Mr. Romney’s media team who was known for producing some of the more compelling positive spots for Mr. Romney four years ago, but has nonetheless earned a reputation as one of the most fearsome political ad makers in the country — he produced the Willie Horton commercial that devastated Michael S. Dukakis’s presidential campaign in 1988.

As I wrote two years ago in A Supreme Screwing,  just after Citizens United was decided:

Well, we Americans had a good run. We began as a government of the people, for the people, and by the people. But, almost inevitably it would seem, given the impersonal forces of unrestrained materialism, we have become a government of, for, and by the corporations.

Nothing short of constitutional amendment is likely to change that.  And with corporations free to buy as many politicians as they need, the odds of that occurring  in our lifetime are slim and none.  (And Slim just slimed his way out of  town.)

To trust buster Teddy Roosevelt, who founded the Bull Moose Progressive Party in 1912, corporations were “malefactors of great wealth” to be kept on a short leash and out of the people’s business.  A century later, thanks to our Republican Supreme Court,  it is as Willard told us in Iowa last August:

“Corporations are people too…”

Why corporations, who are now people, can give unlimited campaign contributions while people who aren’t corporations can not, is a logical inconsistency that the Court should address some time soon.  Or maybe not. The  anonymity that Super PACs provide has its own advantages.  I mean, what politician wants to have Tony Soprano listed as a million dollar contributor?  Better to make him a back door man.

So that little legal inconsistency will probably be with us for awhile, at least until people accept that the unholy alliance between corporations and government that Mussolini called “fascism” is accepted as the natural Darwinian order of things.

Welcome to our Brave New Citizens United World.

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

Happy Holidays

December, 21, 2011 13:16 pm · 0 comments

by T_P_K

Happy X-Thing from TPK, Michael Hart, Propagandee, Saitia, various coneheads, random cherubim, Santa Clawz, and the Big Kahuna.

The entire cast and crew of USojo take this opportunity to wish you the very best that life on the World of the Cross has to offer this Holiday Season.

We remain humbly grateful to each of you that visit us here in the b-sphere— randomly or regularly— and especially those of you that are awesome authors and artists of your own blogs, and still graciously find time to share some precious moments here with us;  we know you know you know who you are.  And yeah, even those that still just come to see that effin’ giant scorpion on the Judge Bybee post. 

As readers of The Urantia Papers, we have it on good authority that Jesus was born about noon on August 21st, 7 B.C.  But any day you want to celebrate the birth of God-made-mortal is cool with us.  Although the once lovely pagan/stolen celebration remains fraught with all sorts of American Christian social quaint-itudiness (a real word as of today)— what with all the munnies being made around every orifice of the holiday shopping tradition— we still say, screw all that.  It’s the celebration of the birth of a Divine Being incarnate as one of us, and that continues to blow our tiny minds.

So today we ask you to contemplate this, if you would:   The Creator of this world and everything else in the incomprehensible vastness of space made a brief personal appearance on this planet some two thousand years ago.  And as human beings living today, we are still challenged to grow into the full awareness of who and what we really are, just as he did.  So it bears repeating:


Of all human knowledge, that which is of greatest value is to know the religious life of Jesus and how he lived it.
The Urantia Papers

Yeah the last two thousand years have been tumultuous to say the least, and the last few especially so.  When the resurrected Jesus ascended from this world he left it with his Spirit— The Spirit of Truth— but without the visible presence and guidance of celestial beings.  And that threw the doors of darkness, stupidity, and ignorance wide open, and it continues to threaten to swamp and sink our little ship as it steams out onto the high seas of an unknown future.  So we might as well take a modicum of satisfaction in the assurance that planetary change— for the better, and soon— is inevitable.

A new and fuller revelation of the religion of Jesus is destined to conquer an empire of materialistic secularism and to overthrow a world sway of mechanistic naturalism.  Urantia is now quivering on the very brink of one of its most amazing and enthralling epochs of social readjustment, moral quickening, and spiritual enlightenment.
The Urantia Papers

You could be so comforted and inspired, so enthralled and intrigued, if you would only allow the [Indwelling Spirit] constantly to bring forth the pictures of the real motive, the final aim, and the eternal purpose of all this difficult, uphill struggle with the commonplace problems of your present material world.
The Urantia Papers

So we hope 2012 turns out to be another year everything changes.
But even if it’s not, it’s still vitally important to become fully aware of your status and station as a cosmic citizen of the universe.  We urge you to fully indulge the hope that springs eternal in the human breast, read Those Papers, and above all, live in joyful and divine expectation;  and always be of good cheer!

Happy Holidays!


We’ll be in recharge mode through the 2nd.
See you then


Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

January LIAR

December, 15, 2011 12:12 pm · 3 comments

by T_P_K

The January LIAR takes on Newter’s split personality;  seriously— only two??

You cannot fashion a wit out of two half-wits.
—Neil Kinnock

What clever man has ever needed to commit a crime?
Crime is the last resort of political half-wits.
—Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

What is the primary purpose of a political leader? To build a majority.
If voters care about parking lots, then talk about parking lots.
—Newton Leroy Gingrich

Our comrades in the United Socialist Postal Service can get lazy this time of year, so I was surprised to see my January copy of LIAR before the Christmas Holidays.  The gruesomely flaccid Newter on the cover sets the tone for what proves to be one of the most lie-packed issues yet, with complete transcripts of the last couple Republican debates; I guess it was easier than just editing out the “Uhs and Ums.”

Let’s get right to the stitched together cover story.  It wont surprise you that LIAR says one of the TWO NEWTS is basically a lying, scheming, self-aggrandizing prick, while the other Newt is a lying, scheming, self-aggrandizing, amoral prick.  That said, there’s really no comparison between the two.

Sure, The Tubster claims to be a Catholic now that it’s Callista‘s job as president of Gingrich Productions to keep his little man-toy from drying up and falling off.  And of course, there are plenty of amoral, Machiavellian religionists out there who approve of torturing their fellows for information, or pissing on the poor for purely political reasons;  The Newter just happens to be the amoral religionist with the biggest circumference.

When you have the blessing of being amoral, you can quickly cut through the emotional trappings of ethics and get right to the taint* of matters.  THE NEWT WORLD ODOR is a harrowing run-though of Newter‘s historically perverse roll-playing as a foreign affairs dilettantish flatulence igniter, typified by his recent admission that, were he president, he would unleash pitbull John Bolton to be our Secretary of State.  Get the Kaopectate ready, cause this mutt will scare the shit out of you.

This sorry sonofabitch is Newt’s choice for Sec. of State; we’ve been warned.

But even scarier is yet another Newt, the one who specializes in WHORING FOR BIBI, and will do anything for Benjamin Netanhayu, including disenfranchising 2.5 million Palestinians from their own heritage by declaring them an “invented people.”   Groveling for Israel is a spectator sport in the GOP, and the clown car full of candidates all play at the professional level;  but Newter can kick all their asses in his his undergarments.

The amoral Newter has no qualms about prostituting his corpulence on behalf of a grateful Bibi.

I know by now you’re really wanting to hit that porcelain bus, but swallow hard and turn to I’LL PUT YOUR BRATS TO WORK.  It will be a refreshing change of pander from the amoral Newt‘s international racism to his domestic racism, directed at inner-city black youth;  you know, the ones who at age 12 still do not have “…a habit of showing up [for work] on Monday.”

The amoral Newt says “the primary purpose of a political leader is to build a majority.”  Because it takes a majority to get elected, and well, that’s a political leader’s primary purpose.  So if it turns out that majority is a bunch of amoral, racist assholes who don’t care about “parking lots,” but rather putting minority children to work scrubbing majority children’s poop off their potties, or making America Israel’s favorite ATM, then that’s what you talk about.

Now go puke your guts out.

* Taint ass and taint balls;  it’s ambiguous.


Related Posts:

{ 3 comments }

Just when you thought the comedy gods had returned to Mt. Olympus for a well deserved holiday break from the GOP presidential primary, Witchy Woman Christine O’Donnell flew to the rescue of comedians and progressive bloggers everywhere.

Yesterday, the former Delaware Senate candidate endorsed Willard Mitt Romney, who greeted her endorsement warmly. (An obvious measure of the growing desperation within the Romney campaign over The Newter‘s surge in the polls).

Saying that she had given a lot of thought to her decision, Christine noted that one of the things that won her over was Willard’s consistency on the issues.  In the clip above, the CNN interviewer politely points out that Mittens has a rep as a champion flip-flopper.  Christine doesn’t miss a beat, explaining:

“He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.”

Somehow I’m reminded of Yogi Berra‘s observation that:

“You should always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”

In the O’Donnell/Romney universe, I’m sure that makes perfect sense.

Christine O’Donnell explains who she really isn’t 

Related Posts:

{ 3 comments }

Zappadan Closes

December, 12, 2011 11:47 am · 1 comment

by T_P_K

No more Small Dog Broth for you, one year.

IMPERIAL BEACH — On our little world, when you’re really jonesin’ for Things That Look Like Meat, some Strange Purple Jello, or a Mud Shark-Mango Muffin, there’s only one place you can satisfy that craving: The Zappadan Diner.  But not anymore.  The City of Imperial Beach Department of Health and Mental Hygiene closed the Zappadan Diner on Monday, siting the possibility that the “Solar Beef” might be contaminated with latex;  there is also a suspicion that another entrée, the “Desenex Burger,” may in fact contain Desenex.¹

The supposed culprits?  Latex Solar Beef... and the Desenex Burger.

The irony of the closure during the 2011 Zappadan Holidaze has not been lost on the few hungry freaks gathered in front of the Diner, who have become regulars there.

A green-haired African-American woman named Jemima Kong of Imperial Beach paces back and forth;  she is wearing a heavily pilled purple alligator suit without the head, and saying to no one in particular: “Who in their right mind thinks there’s actual “Latex” in Latex Solar Beef !?!  Anybody besides the Imperial Beach Commissioner of Health and Mental fuckin’ Hygiene!?  They ain’t did no testin’ but they sayin’ “One a these Zappa freaks” maybe put some Desenex in the Desenex Burgers?!?  What the fuck.”

“I like the Strange Purple Jello,” volunteers a marginally present young man named “Kenny” wearing only a tattered kilt and a lavender push-up bra; he is originally from Canoga Park, but now lives on the beach behind the Diner. “I don’t know what’s in it, but I like the way it wiggles, and there’s usually some in the dumpster. . . You know when my royalty check comes, I think I’m going to buy a Mustang. Wait, no, I think I’ll . . . I think I’ll get a Corvette.  No, I think I’ll get a Harley Davidson. No, I don’t think I’ll buy any of those cars. I think what I will do is I will buy a boat.  No, that wouldn’t be good either. I think, ah, I’ll go into real estate.  I think I would like to . . . I think I would like to buy La Cienega Boulevard.”

There’s also a guy named Joe being lead around by a Shih Tzu puppy on a leash;  he is singing to passers-by “What’s the ugliest part of your body?”  The Shih Tzu wanders off to the beach.

But it’s more than weird regulars who will miss the Diner.  Han-Min-Noon, 200 Motels Motel Parking Security Guard and team leader, makes a weekly trek from Encino just for a Desenex Burger.  “I don’t give a fuck if there’s Desenex in there or not.  It tastes awesome, and I’m willing to pay the price.”  His cousin, Han-Toon-Ran, who often makes the trip with him, is equally upset about the closing, saying, “Eye wanting dey Muddeh Shawk soon. Eye maybey hoongray for it toodey again.”

As we pack our gear, day chef of the Zappadan, La Marr Bruister, walks up.  Like many of the regulars, what he is wearing— a teal bath robe and house slippers— catches our attention.  The regulars call him “Daddy Dinky,” a moniker from Let’s Make The Water Turn Black.  “This totally sucks a big one,” Bruister says, and a chorus of “Fuckin’ Ay!” goes up from the small strange crowd that has gathered. “Where can we get some breakfast?” says Min-Noon. The absence of firing synapses is almost tangible, but finally Daddy Dinky says, “Well, there’s the Farmer’s Market… They sell Zappa’s stuff.”

A few heads slowly nod in agreement, and turn in the general direction of the Pier Plaza;  reluctantly breaking free of the weakened energy field still emanating from the Diner.

I have a sudden craving for a Mud Shark Mango Muffin.

See you next year, freaks.

¹ Miconazole is the active ingredient in Desenex; it is an antifungal agent, relieves itching and burning, and is used for skin infections such as athlete’s foot, jock itch, and vaginal yeast infections.  The medication is sometimes prescribed for other uses.

Related Posts:

{ 1 comment }

Dogging Obama

December, 10, 2011 10:10 am · 2 comments

by T_P_K

TeleNewter:  “wherever the president appears, I will appear four hours later.”
President Obama offers Gingrich a chance to “appear” at the rim… because the only thing The Newter can dunk is a donut.

DES MOINES —Stoked on Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Eggs Benedict, telewubby sixty-eight year old Republican front-runner Newton Gingrich demonstrated his dubious leadership gene by vowing to let the Obama White House set his agenda for the rest of his campaign—  if he wins the nomination:

The Hill:

“I promise you, if you will help me on January 3, if I end up as the nominee, in my acceptance speech, if the president has not yet agreed, I will announce from that day forward for the rest of the campaign, the White House will be my scheduler,” Gingrich said. “And wherever the president appears, I will appear four hours later.”

Gingrich said he would challenge Obama to seven Lincoln-Douglas style debates lasting three hours each with no moderator and only a timekeeper. “I will concede that he can use a teleprompter,” Gingrich said.

If I was Obama I would jet-lag this narcissistic gerbil until he needed to use a teleprompter just to stand up.

According to Gingrich, his plan to follow Obama around the country is based on Abraham Lincoln‘s strategy of giving a rebuttal speech to Stephen Douglas in the same place that Douglas had given a speech one day earlier during the 1858 Illinois Senate campaign.

“After about three weeks, Douglas figured out that the newspaper coverage was always Lincoln’s answer and not Douglas’s speech,” Gingrich said.

Yep, that’s why Douglas did all seven debates— and, oh wait— he also won the election.*

Gingrich predicted Obama would accept the debate challenge, in part because of wanting to preserve media coverage, but also out of ego.

Uh Right;  the exact reasons Newter is insisting on the debates himself;  but yeah, Barack Obama just doesn’t get enough “media coverage” as president;  and nobody knows more about acting out of shear ego lust than The Newter.

“How can a Harvard Law Review editor, the greatest orator in the modern Democratic party, admit to being afraid to be on the same platform as a West Georgia college professor?”

Perfectly right;  there’s absolutely no reason to be afraid of being “on the same platform” as an amoral, corrupt, self-aggrandizing lying-ass lobbyist who was booted from the House by his own party for ethical crimes. But what really takes the peanut butter cake is Gingrich’s faux humility in referring to himself as a “West Georgia college professor”— when in fact was denied tenure— even as a small town-college “college professor.”

Eggs Benny and peanut butter cups are, you know— the breakfast of telewubby has-beens.

So keep stuffing your pie-hole full of Reese’s pudge-butter, Newter;  just remember:  the TeaPublican elevator doesn’t go to the top floor, which means you’re going to have to waddle your pasty buttocks up a few flights of stairs on your own steam if you wanna get to a three-hour ass-kicking by the president.

 

*  The partisan newspapers of the day only corrected their candidate’s transcripts, but left the opponent’s transcripts in the rough form in which they found them.  Douglas was pandering to pro-slavery whites, refusing to even recognize slaves as having any rights of citizenship and therefore no standing as human beings.  Lincoln did not prevail in the senatorial election, but did put all his corrected debate transcripts into a book, which became highly influential in familiarizing him to the nation and helped him win the presidency two years later.

 

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }

Flip Flopping Away*

December, 7, 2011 19:05 pm · 0 comments

by Propagandee

Classic peacock pickup line: Here’s looking at you, kid

One of nature’s most colorful courtship displays is the male peafowl, or peacock, fanning his feathers. The energy expenditure involved in growing and carrying all that weight around means that, if you’re a peahen, he really, really wants to fuck you.

We see the same basic phenomenon taking place in the current GOP presidential primary. Instead of iridescent feathers with spooky eyes, former front runner Willard “Mitt” Romney is busy trying to attract the party’s rabid Teabagger base with an ever-changing display of policy positions.

Willard, the flip flopping peacock

The list of Willard’s flip flops is impressive. From abortion to a flat tax; from climate change to supporting payroll tax exemptions after dissing them as just so many “temporary little band-aids”;  from praising the individual health insurance mandate embodied in O’Romney Care to condemning it outright, it can be difficult to keep track of them all. (See e.g.  Mitt Romney Flip Flops.com, a bare bones site that requires you to check in weekly, if not daily, for updates.)

But it’s the end game that intrigues us. Long time Republican and Former Chief of Staff to Secretary of State Colin Powell, Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, puts it succinctly:

Even Romney is in many ways unelectable. He’s been a hardliner during the primary on key issues – and then he’s going to do this dance where he suddenly shifts to the middle and is a centrist in the general election? He can do that – but Obama will trounce him.”

Maybe for its next Thanksgiving dinner, the White House can serve up a freshly slaughtered Willard Peacock, Sauce Poivrade as its main course.  Here’s an oldie but goody recipe from gourmet.com.

ROAST YOUNG PEACOCK
THE WAY WE COOKED: VINTAGE GOURMET

DECEMBER 1951

Q. Have you a recipe for preparing peacock?

Mr. Wayne W. Jarvis
Santa Cruz, California

A. Peacock can be cooked very like turkey, except that it tends to be dry-fleshed and requires frequent basting with butter. Don’t know where you got your peacock, but every time we see one of those fine-feathered fellows strutting the local zoo, we can’t help thinking how handsome he would look on a silver serving platter!

ROAST YOUNG PEACOCK

Slinge, draw, and stuff a peacock with forcemeat. Truss it for roasting and roast it in a moderate oven (350° F.) for about 20 minutes per pound, or until well browned and tender, basting very frequently with melted butter. Serve hot with pan gravy or cold with chopped jelly and cold sauce poivrade….

<—————————————————————->

*Title “Flip Flopping Away” sung to Paul Simon’s Slip Siding Away:

Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination,
the more you slip sliding away

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

BULLSHIT Happening Now

December, 7, 2011 14:02 pm · 2 comments

by T_P_K

Do you get all your “news” from the 24-7 Cable Clowns?  How cool is that??  Sucking up hours of info-tainment-news/cable effluvia is like continually drinking pots of stale coffee through a gallon funnel while sitting on your ass until you absolutely have to run to the bathroom to avoid pissing yourself.

But please— don’t think this is a criticism of our media for their abject failure to discern what’s truly important in life;  High Anxiety Over Nothing in particular is a pervasive and powerful reality-avoidance norm of our times that essentially puts you to sleep for life.  

If only you had been fortunate enough to be educated by a teacher that fired your imagination—  and you subsequently gained your freedom from all conventional and traditional handicaps, and dared to think, act, and live honestly, loyally, fearlessly, and truthfully.  

By now, you very well might have discovered the only way to become truly indestructible— might have discovered the way to permeate your evolving soul with truth, beauty, and goodness as the value-realization of God-consciousness— and you’d for sure be doing something truly meaningful with the precious little time you have left on this planet.  Because it’s simple.  If there is no survival of eternal values in your soul, then mortal existence is without meaning, and life itself is truly a tragic illusion.

Right.  Back to the Bullshit. 

 

 

 

 

But then again…  If you do decide to wake up, you’ll want to
read this book.

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }

TOASTER POOT

December, 6, 2011 12:12 pm · 2 comments

by T_P_K

Weighing in at a mere 13.3 ounces, Zappa’s thin and crispy toaster poot pie is what every hungry freak wants for Zappadan dinner.

NOTE:  Zappadan is a special time of year, a time of grateful reflection on and enjoyment of everything Zappanese.  It’s a time to become more familiar with the many mysteries which surround the music and folklore of Frank Zappa, and it is in that spirit that we take a closer look at one of the more bizarre ingredients in Frank’s pantry:  Zappa’s Toaster Poot. —Ed.

 •

You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
— Frank Zappa, Ms Pinky

Although I am not an Appliantologist, I’m also not shy about admitting I am a hardcore appliance fetishist.  Near the top of my long list of favorite appliances is the toaster.  And I don’t mean one of those pathetic fucking things a bank might unpucker long enough to give you if you were crazy enough to deposit your entire life savings in their dirty little vault.

No.  I mean a real toaster, with giant slots, just like the one at the Zappadan Diner;  slots so big they will accommodate anything from a puffy bagel to a couple full-grown raccoons;  and if you can get your hands on one, even a fully-loaded Rotopluker.

Those are professional raccoons, children;  do not try this back in Centerville.

But in the last analysis, a bitchin’ toaster is only as good as what you poot in it.  That’s why my reefer is always stocked with plenty of Zappa’s Toaster Poot Pie™, which like most Zappa edibles, is a mysterious mult-tasking miracle product.  Longtime users know the aroma of toaster poot produces the same exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles used to get off on, and in a pinch, there isn’t a better pumice extender on the planet.  Of course nothing will keep your iridescent Naugahyde as supple as a little squirtle of reconstituted poot juice, and a slice of dried toaster poot pie will wedge up a wobbly dinette faster than you can take a dozen provocative squats.

TeeVee food maven, Rachael Ray, tried to make her own toaster poot pasta back in the late nineties, with disastrous results.

When it’s all sung ‘n done, Zappa’s Toaster Poot is a proprietary substance that, frankly, continues to defy modern scientific chemical analysis.  While it would be presumptuous to say what toaster poot is, we can definitely say what it is not:  toaster poop.  You know— the shit that falls off ordinary toasting bread and lands in the crumb tray.  Those are crumbs, people. 

But all is not lost.  Keyboard storyteller Don Preston, who probably knows more about the etymology of Zappa’s toaster poot than anyone living today, frequently points out that poot is thought to be secreted by an unknown bacterium;  it is then purified using industrial-strength fermenters, which stabilize the poot gas bubbles and slow the diffusion of carbon dioxide and other gnarly stuff, especially during baking.  The end product is the mystery stuff of legend that toaster aficionados everywhere have come to treasure:  100% pure, high-grade toaster poot.

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }

Politicizing Zappadan

December, 5, 2011 14:03 pm · 8 comments

by T_P_K

Encino Two Hundred Motels security guard, Han-Min-Noon, stops Newt Gingrich in the parking lot;  Gingrich’s traveling Clown Caravan said it was in town to celebrate the beginning of Zappadan, which started the day before.

Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
Try me on for size
Magic Fingers, Frank Zappa

ENCINO —  It’s widely undisputed that some politicians will do just about anything to get elected, and that the Muppets are Communists.  They will lie, cheat, and steal cheap motel towels.  They will perform jaw-dropping acts of hypocrisy as easily as a camel falls through the eye of a needle the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Some of them however, are cut from a different cloth.  Calico Clown cloth, to be exact.  The latest outrage by a 2012 candidate for the Republican Party presidential nomination is clothed in that clown cloth:  it’s Newt Gingrich, and his creepy grovel for a few hip votes:  his impromptu celebration of ZAPPADAN.

An alert member of the parking security team for the famous Two Hundred Motels Motel in Encino, California, spotted Newt Gingrich as he squirmed into a clown costume behind an adult electric tricycle.

“When he saw me coming over, he hustled his fat ass— uh sorry;  can I say “fat ass”?  Okay;  well he gets his fat ass onto this red tricycle-thing, and tries to drive off,” said Han-Min-Noon, Day Lot Security Guard at Two Hundred.  So I ask him if he’s a registered guest at the Motel, and he says, “Don’t you know who I am?” I says, “No, I don’t know who you are;  are you a registered guest of the Motel?” “After about twenty questions, it turns out he wasn’t registered at the Motel at all;  he was just using our parking lot to launch some kind of weird fucking parade.”

Gingrich and the other members of his caravan were asked to leave.  They loaded up their clown-cycle and drove away.  They were not ticketed by security.

The current front runner for the Republicans’ presidential slot is not the first Republican to attempt a celebration of sorts of ZAPPADAN.  In 2009, we shared an exclusive report on a Zappadan party held by more than a dozen Republican politicos:

Don’t recognize some of these “pathetic sodomite PsOS,”?  Count yourself lucky.

Related Posts:

{ 8 comments }

Polly Cain isn’t dead, he’s just suspended his campaign for life

Less than 48 hours after launching his new web site Women for Herman Cain,  with his wife of 43 years Gloria Cain listed as its national chairwoman, GOPer carny Herman Cain folded his tent, “suspending” his phony presidential campaign in the face of yet another bimbo eruption.

NY Times:

An unapologetic and defiant Herman Cain suspended his presidential campaign on Saturday, pledging that he “would not go away” even as he abandoned the Republican presidential race in the face of escalating accusations of sexual misconduct.

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” Mr. Cain said at a rally in Atlanta, surrounded by supporters chanting his name. “Because of the continued distractions, the continued hurt caused on me and my family, not because we are not fighters. Not because I’m not a fighter”…

Right. A fighter who doesn’t fight a purported injustice. Just the kind of leader the country needs. Reminds me of the time that Ross Perot suspended his presidential campaign because of a suspected plot by the Bushies to ruin his daughter’s wedding.

…In suspending his candidacy, as opposed to saying that he was ending his bid, Mr. Cain, according to campaign finance lawyers, maintains an ability to accept money to pay for his campaign so far…

Not to mention the potential green coming his way from the US taxpayer:

 PRIMARY MATCHING FUNDS  Partial public funding is available to Presidential primary candidates in the form of federal matching payments. Candidates seeking their party’s nomination to the Presidency can qualify to receive matching funds by raising at least $5,000 in each of 20 states.

…and potentially to finance the new venture that he called his Plan B: to travel the country promoting his tax and foreign policy plans….

AKA, selling more books and getting more bucks in speaking fees.

…Mr. Cain exited much the way he entered. The circuslike atmosphere — complete with numerous delays, barbecue, a blues band and supporters in colonial-era dress — was in keeping with the campaign’s irreverence and disarray since its inception.

George Will chimed in:

Appearing in a roundtable discussion on ABC’s ‘This Week’ with Christiane Amanpour, the conservative columnist called Cain an “entrepreneurial charlatan” and accused him of being an opportunist.

“Mr. Cain, who used this as a book tour, in a fundamentally disrespectful approach to the selection of presidents,” he said.

A month ago I said, stick a fork in Herman, he’s done. Actually, I’m a little surprised he lasted this long. But it seems that like Polly the Parrot, someone had nailed his proverbial feet to the perch so he wouldn’t fall over.  But once the rigor of the campaign took hold, the mortis part has finally set in.

RIP, Herman.  RIP.

 

 

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

Have You Been Experienced?

December, 4, 2011 11:17 am · 0 comments

by Propagandee

Newport 69

Had he lived, Jimi Hendrix would have turned 69 last week. I wrote a post titled Happy Birthday, Jimi  a couple of years ago, summarizing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences of the man and his turbulent times.

I mentioned that I had seen Jimi perform live in 1969 at what was billed as The Newport ’69 Pop Festival in Northridge, CA. As far as I know, the video below is the only AV record of that performance in existence. Not to be missed is the second song featuring the incomparable Buddy Miles on drums and vocals.

(Last week in Don’t Sprays Me Bro I wrote: “It’s been some 40 years since I last referred to a police officer as a “pig.” Raised with a healthy respect for law enforcement, all that changed radically in 1969 when I witnessed an incident of unconscionable police brutality.”  That incident is recounted the first Jimi post linked to above.)

When Jimi famously asked “Have you been experienced?”  I interpreted that vis a vis  my own encounter with what Hindu mystics might call Brahmajyoti , or “the effulgence of God.”  I was 18 at the time, tripping on some very good acid on a beach on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington. Suddenly, it was as if every pore in my skin, every atom in my body was radiating a different hue of pure, impersonal energy. Simply lifting my arm felt as if I could hurl the Rock of Gibraltar into space.

Later, after some serious religious self-study that included Buddhism,  a short stint in a Hindu monastery, books like Autobiography of a Yogi, The Impersonal Life, and The Urantia Book,  I formulated that experience  in spiritual  terms as the realization of that “True Light that lights everyone who comes into the world”;  in metaphysical terms as experiencing the human body as a literal ” Temple of God”;  in cognitive terms as  ”me experiencing God experiencing me.”

So, Jimi, I would have to answer: Yes, I have been experienced…

Here again is part of what The Urantia Book says about music:

The best music of Urantia is just a fleeting echo of the magnificent strains heard by the celestial associates of your musicians, who left but snatches of these harmonies of morontia forces on record as the musical melodies of sound harmonics. Spirit-morontia music not infrequently employs all seven modes of expression and reproduction, so that the human mind is tremendously handicapped in any attempt to reduce these melodies of the higher spheres to mere notes of musical sound. Such an effort would be something like endeavoring to reproduce the strains of a great orchestra by means of a single musical instrument….

[O]nly once in a thousand mortal lives is there any great appreciation of harmonics. But be not discouraged; some day a real musician may appear on Urantia, and whole peoples will be enthralled by the magnificent strains of his melodies. One such human being could forever change the course of a whole nation, even the entire civilized world. It is literally true, “melody has power a whole world to transform.” Forever, music will remain the universal language of men, angels, and spirits. Harmony is the speech of Havona.

Jimi Hendrix and Buddy Miles rockin’ the Newport 69 Pop Festival

Related Posts:

{ 0 comments }

In Need Of A Bigger Boat

December, 2, 2011 22:10 pm · 2 comments

by Propagandee

Embarrassed Republican thought to be former Senator and UN Ambassador, John Danforth, commenting on the 2012 GOP presidential race

So it isn’t just us.

Via Think Progress:

DANFORTH:  “What have been the big applause lines in these debates? Well, a statement that the governor of Texas is responsible for killing 234 people on death row. Or that we favor torture. Or that we’re creating a fence on the Mexican border that electrocutes people when they try to cross it.  Or when people show up at the emergency room at hospitals and they’re not insured don’t treat them. And that, I mean these are the big applause lines, people just hoop and holler when they hear all that.[...]“

“It doesn’t have anything to do with the republican party that I was a part of. This is just totally different. And all of these people who are saying this, y’know, and claiming that, y’know, they’re for all this stuff, they also sort of ostentatiously say, ‘Oh, we’re very religious people. We really, we’re just very pious, Christian people.  They were for torture, and electrocution of the people on along the border and all of that. That doesn’t have anything to do with, is contrary to the Christianity that I understand.”

Reacting to a profile of Senator Dick Lugar (R-IN) last Sunday in The NY Times, Danforth added:

If Dick Lugar…having served five terms in the U.S. Senate and being the most respected person in the Senate and the leading authority on foreign policy, is seriously challenged by anybody in the Republican Party, we have gone so far overboard that we are beyond redemption.”

Look out below!

Having chummed the Teabagger waters with so much bloody offal, the Grand Obstructionist Party is now reeling in their catch. In the immortal words of Amity Island’s police chief Martin Brody (Roy Schieder):

We’re going to need a bigger boat!

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }

The Newter Writhes Again

December, 1, 2011 11:02 am · 2 comments

by T_P_K

Why yes, that is a Swedish apparatus* crossing The Newter’s pectoral majesty, and indeed that is a steamy presidential partner at his, thigh; of course they are leering at the Leftist conspirators occupying Wall Street.
And thank you for overlooking the several piles of baggage that have made him what he is today— a 68 year old up-and-coming Republican leader.
(If you want to check his baggage you must click it.)

Certainly you know it takes a special kind of man to become sufficiently intellectually disengaged from reality to write his doctoral dissertation on “Belgian Education Policy in the Congo,” and specifically from 1945 through 1960— the heyday, perhaps? —which gives rise to the inevitable question: “When did being Kenyan-ishly anticolonial  become a bad thing?

It became a bad thing when Newton Leroy Gingrich said it did.  Yes;  these are not the sort of things real historians say, but that’s not why it’s unforgettable.  Rather is it the traditional, off-hand hyperbole, so thoroughly layered into the folds of The Newter‘s ample cortical overlay;  and lo, his self-serving synapses had only just begun to fire.

You see, The Newter has long understood the psychology of fear, which he learned from the Battle of Verdon as he was “studyin’ up”¹ on the importance of political leadership while living in Orleans.   France.  This vicarious dalliance with a particular battle of the Second World War would be the closest The Newter would ever come to a personal involvement with armed conflict.

But that’s right;  The Newter was educated in France as well as the United States.  While some narrow-minded Americans might snicker and call him an elitist and even a filthy traitor, most liberal Americans know it’s important— to minds’ like Newt’s— whether or not the Battle of Verdon was actually a French tactical victory, or just a costly strategic stalemate with the Germans.

But to dissect that hardly-worn nugget of historical navel lint requires one to unpack the whole nature of, well— Feudalism.²  Of course, self-absorbed historians like The Newter know going in there is no widely accepted modern definition of feudalism, and that the noun feudalism wasn’t coined until the 19th century, and even now it is most often used in a pejorative political and propaganda context which hist—  well.  I digress.

A relatively svelte but confused nineteen year old Newter posed with Baker High School friends in 1962, wearing a single handcuff and an inexplicable Motley Crüde t-shirt; later that week, he married his geometry teacher.

Let’s just use the Newtonian suggested language of his apocalyptic demolition politics:  “Obama” is “sick,” a “traitor,” has laid the nation to “waste,” his Kenyan-ey forte is the “corruption” and “decay” of big D Democracy, he is definitely “anti-flag,” and is single-handedly destroying America with his Kenyan-ish-ey colonialism.

And you should know:

Laura Seay

Gingrich liked colonialism. Especially the Belgian variety, which limited the vast majority of Congolese to a sixth-grade education, taught children that God wanted them to obey the exploitative colonial authorities, and was the reason the country had fewer than 20 university graduates and no indigenous doctors at independence.

As this bold photoshopped placement shows, The Newter’s in-depth analysis of the Congolese educational system has kept him in touch with the poor, uneducated folk, ostensibly going right down where they live and encouraging them to go get a job— right after they take a bath.
(If you want to smell the unclean, you must click it.)

The Newter nailed it down hard for the precipitous Conservative Right when he grandiloquently pointed out that, just like the “entitled brats” comprising the Occupy Wall Street movement, the poor are also “leeching off hardworking taxpayers,” (read:  the precipitous Conservative Right), and are of course in greater need of more frequent bathing.  Oh.  And in need of saving, according to some Christians.

The Newter, who is writhing through his third marriage, is also writhing³ through his third Christian religion.  Abandoned by his teenage father after three days, his teenage mother married twenty-one year old Robert Gingrich three years later, thus little Newt was raised in the Lutheran faith. It didn’t take.  In graduate school Newton became a Southern Baptist.

In due time The Newter was trolling snatch on Capital Hill, and it wasn’t long before he inadvertently became enamored with the religion of a House staffer he was shtoinking in addition to Mrs Gingrich the Second;  after all, it seemed to be working for her, know what I mean?

Nowadays The Newter and Mrs Gingrich the Third are both Roman Catholic Christians, and as such, know it is their inherent duty to reign over the poor with a beneficent fist hand— the hand/fist of the Super-rich purveyors of the Catholic/Christian interpretation of the Gospel of Jesus.

I gradually became Catholic and then decided one day to accept the faith I had already come to embrace in my ongoing adultery.  The moment I decided to officially become a Catholic was when I saw Pope Benedict XVI on hisvisit to the United States in 2008.  Catching a glimpse of the Pope that day, I was struck by the happiness and peacefulness, the total raw power and authority he exuded over all.  The little people seemed to worship him;  I can haz that? I thought to myself…  Anyway, this was a moment of confirmation about the many things I had been thinking and experiencing for several years— religion could be an even more powerful tool than the filibuster.  In America, religious belief is being driven by a cultural elite trying to create a secularized America, in which God is driven out of public life.  Well, I intend to be the one doing the driving from here on out. 

“Feed the poor.”
—John the Baptist, to the Rich

As human nature will have it, you will find numerous hypocrites in every evolutionary religion.  But professed followers of Jesus, such as The Newter, who openly eschews the social equality of brotherhood and its fundamental economic fairness, for the opulent habiliments of the privileged elite, are particularly glaring hypocrites when they insinuate the poor are to blame for their plight:

“All the Occupy movement [which ipso facto is the poor] starts with the premise that we owe them everything.  They take over a public park they didn’t pay for, to go nearby to use bathrooms they didn’t pay for, to beg for food from places they don’t want to pay for, to obstruct those who are going to work to pay the taxes to sustain the bathrooms and to sustain the park, so they can self-righteously explain they are the paragons of virtue to which we owe everything.

“That is a pretty good symptom of how much the left has collapsed as a moral system in this country, and why you need to reassert something by saying to them, ‘Go get a job right after you take a bath.”

“. . .Reassert” what, exactly?  And to whom?  And seriously—  “…the left has collapsed as a moral system”???  Fuuuuuuu-uck.

Listen.  The Newter was the family values candidate who was so in way up over his moral comp-ass in an adulterous relationship the entire time he was working to impeach President Clinton for having an adulterous relationship.  Yes, The Newter was shtoinking a House of representatives staffer behind his wife’s back, while vociferously condemning the president for doing the same thing.  The hypocrisy.  The hypocrisy..  The hypocrisy…  it not only burns, it makes my fucking ears bleed.

Yes, yyyesss, it is only one of the more grotesque moral failings of our time. We’ve chosen base, incompetent, disloyal, and morally unfit political leaders.  The Newter Gingrich is only one of them, but he is very likely the worst, simply because he now portends to be president;  the moral and ethical “leader”of all Americans, and arguably the most important leader in the world.

But this off-the-fucking-charts insane level of hypocrisy by men like Newton Leroy Gingrich, who routinely, repeatedly, and habitually betray— before God— not only their spouses, but their espoused religious principals as well— should never be elected to another public office as long as they breathe air.

 

* Swedish Apparatus ala Frank Zappa’s “Strictly Genteel: 

Help everybody, so they all get some action
Some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction

A Swedish apparatus
With a hood and a bludgeon
With a microwave oven
“Honey, how do it feel?”

¹ Gratuitous Herman Cain-ism

² In 1974, U.S. historian Elizabeth A. R. Brown rejected the label “feudalism” as an anachronism that imparts a false sense of uniformity to the concept.  Having noted the current use of many, often contradictory, definitions of feudalism, she argued that the word is only a construct with no basis in medieval reality, an invention of modern historians read back “tyrannically” into the historical record. Supporters of Brown have suggested that the term should be expunged from history textbooks and lectures on medieval history entirely.

³ writhe:  make continual twisting, squirming movements or contortions

Related Posts:

{ 2 comments }