THE EBOLA RIVER BRIDGE

 Posted by on October 19, 2014 at 6:06 AM
Oct 192014
 

Ebola River BridgeTHE EBOLA RIVER BRIDGE*

 

BECAUSE:  FEAR

The poor people are coming for your money.
The black people are coming for your stuff.
The brown people are coming for your job.
Obama is coming for your guns.
The yellow people are coming for your real estate.
The Commies are coming for your country.
The feminists are coming for your fetuses.
The gays and lesbians are coming for your sons and daughters.
Ebola is coming for you.
The devil is coming for your soul.
God is coming for what’s left.

—The GOP

*Original work by Edvard Munch:  The Scream Of Nature  Oil, tempera, and pastel on cardboard  36 in × 28.9  1893.

The Ebola River is in northern Democratic Republic of the Congo, it is the headstream of the Mongala River, a tributary of the Congo River.  The first cases of the Ebola virus were reported nearby and the disease was subsequently named after the river.

 H/T to  for the GOP fear mongering meme.

BUTTS ON THE GROUND

 Posted by on September 29, 2014 at 12:29 PM
Sep 292014
 

Bhoener ButtsYeah that’s McConnell and yeah he’s dead, and Putterer of the House, Boner Boehner, reeks the Press.

WASHINGTON—   House Putterer John Boehner (R-OH.M.G.) was ragging to the press earlier today about President Barack Obama’s strategy against ISIS, saying “butts on the ground” would be needed, because, well, that’s just how “we roll.”  He was reluctant to say just whose butts he intends to roll into harm’s way.

“At the end of the day, uh, I think it’s gonna take more than, uh, airstrikes and billions of dollars to drive them outta there,” Boehner said.  “At some point, somebody’s spawn has gotta get their butts blown off.”

Reporter Mal Aprop of BSN asked if that meant American butts.

“Listen, the president doesn’t want to do that, because he doesn’t have the stomach for killing, no matter what the reason.  But if I were the president, I probably wouldn’t have talked about what I wouldn’t do, or, uh, you know, what I might do.  Or even what I would do do.   But where I come from, War always means butts on the ground, so somebody’s butts have to be there.”

“So you would recommend putting American butts on the ground, then?” asked Aprop.

“We have no choice,” Boehner sobbed, dabbing away tears.  “These are Conan-like barbarians.   They said they wanna kill us.  So unless we all just wanna lay down and die, we’re gonna hafta pay the price and, uh.. send some more of your children’s butts over there to die.”

A Bridge Too Far Fat

 Posted by on September 19, 2014 at 11:43 AM
Sep 192014
 

Bridge Gate Keeper A Bridge Too Far Fat

Yeah, you did say that all along.  Vociferously.  All the more reason to presume your big butt was right in the middle of it.

Outside of those folks who think you’re nothin’ but an adorable pizza pie-eatin’ machine slash governator, the rest of us realize you’re responsible for knowing what your closest little minions are up to, bozo.

Being too busy with your national ambitions to eat the whole U.S. pie is not an excuse.  If you’re “cooperating fully” with the investigation, as you claim, then stop using “executive privilege” to prevent pertinent documents from being released to the committee.  Either your minions were running the asylum or you were running amok.  So do the right thing.  Shut your pie hole about how innocent you are of these shenanigans, and fall on your sword like a responsible hot air bag should.

Oversight Pissing Contest

 Posted by on September 13, 2014 at 2:51 PM
Sep 132014
 

Oversight Pissing ContestJust remember pussycats, “simulated drowning” is not torture.

X-Disparate Peccadillos

 Posted by on September 11, 2014 at 1:55 PM
Sep 112014
 

DisparatePeccadillosJust click it if you can’t find your glasses.