Billary Death Watch

Slate has put up a new page that tracks Billary’s odds of winning ’08 the nomination, beginning with a generous estimate of 12%. (Someone from within their own campaign estimated it at only 10% last week.)

One of the current theories as to why Billary is intent on destroying Obama’s rep is that if it doesn’t win them the ’08 nomination, Obama will be so sullied in the process that St. John McCain will win. This would in turn keep the door open for them in 2012.

There’s at least one big problem with that theory. She’ll be 65, and will by then have absorbed so much botox that she’ll have to wear one of those hazardous waste signs around her neck. And if she were to lose, her head would explode and become the equivalent of a human dirty bomb.

Just can’t see it. (And don’t want to!)

UPDATE: (3/30/08 9:40 PST): What a difference six weeks can make.

In a new Gallup poll, Obama has surged ahead of Billary by 10 points, his biggest lead ever, after being down by 11 points in early Feb.

And yes, the poll was taken well after the Rev. Wright flap.

Seems that the average American Jo/e is tuning out the MSM punditocracy, who continue to make fools of themselves with their asinine analysis and predictions.

Speaking of which, one of the worst tv programs has to be CNN’s weekend show, “This Week in Politics.” Hosted by Tom Foreman, whose exaggerated gestures and vocal inflections are more appropriate to a daytime game show host talking down to an audience with an IQ of 91 (Bush’s reported level), it was full of juvenile boxing metaphors, highlighted by cheesy graphics showing Billary and Obama in boxing gloves duking it out in a ring.

Just what people a paycheck away from bankruptcy and foreclosure want to see.


UPDATED (5/1908 2100 ): What can it possibly say about Hillary Clinton that she’s now relying on Carl Rove‘s math for analysis to insist she’s the “strongest candidate.” Equating “Turdblossom” with— . . . This just in: On the infinitely small off-chance we might actually reach him, we had Richard “Dick” Milhouse Nixon paged at the San Clemente Clam Club, located in the vast WASP sector of deepest Hell; and wow! he picked up!!

After a bit of perfunctory chitchat about the scorching weather and pain thresholds, the Dick regaled us, amid agonizing screams, with his sage but singed analysis of Billary’s chances: “Well. Mrs. Clinton is making the, uh, kind of- principled last stand— that we’ve, uh, come to expect from— AAAAAAAAAAGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAEEEE!!! GAAAAA!!! GAAAA!!! . . . from those stubborn jackasses in the DemocraaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! AiiiEEEEEEYYAAAAGGGAAAoooAAAAhhhh-Ahhh-Ahh!!!. . .cratic party.”

Well, it went on like that for quite some time, but in essence, the Dick was adamant that Billary is by far the one better prepared to kick some ass, down some shots, lie on the record, ensure a Republican victory, and kill some (expletives deleted) gooks.” Shortly after that comment, some kind of meltdown occurred and we lost the old Dick. But it was very reassuring to know that, in this universe, you can count on reaping just what you sew. And when the Billary finally and forever lays down the race to recapture the white house, you can bet your worthless bottom dollar they’re still gonna get everything they’ve got coming to them. —M. Hart


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