7 Things You’re Dying to Know

7 Things You’re Dying to Know

Sherry at A Feather Adrift has tagged me with a meme. The rules:

1. List these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

Fact #1. I don’t belong here— I’m innocent.
I’m only sorta kidding. Our planet Urantia is, in a peculiar sense, a prison/playpen for self-conscious monkey men. Granted, it’s a large, spectacularly beautiful and complex prison, and it would seem, a prison very poorly run, for the most part, by the most unqualified inmates; but there’s way more to it than that. There are no traditional “guards,” just a couple convenient things called gravity and an atmosphere that keeps us all on the surface, involuntarily breathing away, taking care of business, or fucking things up; that freewill thing, you know.

Generally speaking, the only practical way off the planet is with a toe-tag. It’s still a shame so few inmates realize they’re doing time here, or why, and even fewer actively seek the answer to that question, not to mention other essential information. It’s totally amazing, but true. They mostly just wander around the prison, occasionally shivving others, and getting shivved themselves, accidentally or on purpose. When they’ve done their time, most of them will wake up all slack-jawed in a new body on the next world, where they’ll spend the next 100 years or so learning all the shit they should’ve learned here.

Fact #2. I eat Cheetos.
It’s more than just the power of cheese, or the exquisite crunchiness; now they have jalapeño cheddar flavoring. Cheetos have always been my road trip snack of choice, despite yellow-sticky-finger. It’s no surprise that a dick like Joe Scarborough thinks he’s ridiculing bloggers who eat Cheetos in their undroos while we write; but the part about us wiping the cheesey goodness on our bare skin is Joe’s sick peccadillo, you can be sure; only he’s doing it while watching internet teletubbie porn:

Fact #3. My phosphenes have gotten nasty lately.
Not talking optical migraine here; but those little white critters that pop into your vision and swim a few strokes, then disappear, or sometimes they trigger an optical migraine. Maybe I should call them blogfiends; they always happen when I’m staring at a draft.

Serotonin Molecule

Fact #4. I make my own serotonin.
Yeh, yeh, we all do; but I make mine in the bathtub, twenty or thirty gallons at a time, two or three times a year, depending on the severity of the winter. Bulk chemicals, the whole nine yards. It keeps in a dark cool place, in an air-tight container; I use old wine bottles. Drink chilled.

Fact #5. I don’t wear a hat.
But I’m into guided self-observation, (see the clip) and have been whittling down the distractions that delay evolving my soul. If you don’t know how to self-observe, find yourself a copy of Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood and read it. Or better yet, The Urantia Book. You’ll see why. But be prepared to give up your hats.

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Fact #6. I love water.
In Robert Heinlein’s Stranger In A Strange Land, Michael Valentine Smith introduces earthlings to the concept of “water brothers.” When I read the book in 1971, it seemed like a cool way to define a relationship with prospective young females, since sex was what water brothers most often shared besides the water.

But in time I realized the sheer beauty of water spoke volumes about it’s Creator; from the contemplation of eternity inspired by the crashing of waves, to the infinite variety of form created on it’s surface, to it’s power to keep all living things alive. Share Water.

Fact #7. I’m enlightened, and you can be too! No. Really.
Relatively speaking, of course. It simply means I know what I am, where I am, why I’m here, and where I’m going. All things that are freely available to anyone; again, read The Urantia Book. Kind of perfunctory stuff, when you think about it. I have a genuine personal religious experience with my Indwelling Spirit. But enlightenment doesn’t turn you into Gandhi or the Dalai Lama. You are still just an imperfect flesh and blood creature, albeit with one unusually amazing potential aspect: to live forever. Get after it, you clowns!

The Seven. . .

Do it, Fran. Blue Gal

You too, Drifty. Driftglass

Suzie-Q. . . SUZIE_Q

Quaker Dave. . . Quaker Dave

Jolly Roger. . . ReConstitution 2.0

Propagandee. . . I know where you live.

Dr. Zaius. . . Zaius Nation

Tagged as: BlueGal, Cheetos, Driftglass, hats, Joe Scarborough, phosphenes, Quaker Dave, Robert Heinlein, serotonin, Stranger in a Strange Land, Suzie-Q, The Urantia Book, Urantia, water, water brothers