Phil Gramm Resigns From McCain Debacle

philgollum
Phil Gramm slinks off into the Time Horizon

Phil Gramm, a once overly proud and supposedly well-educated Republican who succumbed to the corruption of the evil influence of power and politics, was sent down the McCain Mountain of Straight Talk Slag late Friday night, slinking off into the violent storm brewing on the “time horizon.”

A “time horizon” is a supposedly fixed point in the future at which processes are assumed to end. A “timetable” on the other hand, provides a time in the future at which processes are assumed to take place. This distinction is lost on a “Nation of Whiners,” as Gramm pointed out in a recently published magazine interview.

John McCain, who has been reaping the wisdom of Gramm as his chief economic adviser, said in February, “There is no one in America that is more respected on the issue of economics than Senator Phil Gramm.” However, a McCain campaign official said the Republican presidential candidate does not share Gramm’s views. Go figure.

Gramm will be scurrying back to his number two position at USB in Switzerland, where it is thought he will continue to elaborate on the negative effects of the “mental recession” that is gripping the United States, and has so many whiners acting out over their psychological financial health.

Obama campaign spokesman Hari Sevugan responded:

“The question for John McCain isn’t whether Phil Gramm will continue as chairman of his campaign, but whether he will continue to keep the economic plan that Gramm authored and that represents a continuation of the polices that have failed American families for the last eight years.”

Senator McCain has not yet announced a timetable for announcing a new source for economic advice, but one may safely assume the new adviser is out there somewhere on the time horizon, furiously planning how we can obfuscate the nation out of the deepening mental recession.

One Comment

  1. Propagandee Propagandee

    Ah, the man who created the Enron Loophole, currently being used by unregulated hedge funds and other speculators to drive gas and energy prices through the roof; and for his role in creating the sub-prime mortgage scam, which is bringing down the entire real estate market in its wake.

    BO was too kind when he said, in relation to Graham’s mental recession/whiner remarks, that we don’t need another “Dr. Phil.”

    Graham is more like Dr. Mengele, with us poor whiner/surfs the victims of his experiments to eliminate the middle class and usher in a new era of corporate feudalism.

    Let’s not let the voters forget his highly influential and long standing relationship to McSame.

    Loved the caricature, BTW!

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