WASHINGTON (C.U.News) Proving that he was a maverick all along, President McCain, on the anniversary of his first week in office, has ordered the re-invasion of Iraq.
“The agreement reached by the previous US president and the current Iraqi prime minister to pull US troops out of Iraq on a timetable is not in the best interests of the country,” stated McCain’s press secretary William Kristol. “Therefore, the president has issued an executive order repealing Bush’s SOFA agreement with the Iraqi government. Additionally, he has ordered the CIA and the Joint Chiefs of Staff to prepare an immediate regime change plan aimed at deposing Prime Minister Maliki and his Iranian quisling enablers.”
Asked about this radical departure from his predecessor’s actions, Kristol smirked: “I guess we can finally lay to rest all that pre-election blather about a third Bush term. Having suffered through decades of the post-Vietnam syndrome that so weakened America’s resolve to execute its manifest destiny, President McCain has today launched a pre-emptive attack on post-Iraq syndrome. By insuring we stay there forever, he is guaranteeing victory with honor for the American people.”
Attempts to reach former president George W. Bush for comment has been unsuccessful. Reports that he was arrested by Interpol agents and flown to the Hague to stand trial for war crimes remain unconfirmed.