Cheney Inspires Bullet-proof Outfits

The new “Vader” bullet-proof outfit keeps rogue face-shooters like Dick Cheney (left) shooting at  birds;  not you. (Click it.)

PUKWANA  SD — This time of year a lot of white men are out in the fields shooting each other— accidentally— and occasionally on purpose.  John Derrick “Lucky” Shawtt, a Colorado outfitter who has made a small fortune selling bullet-proof fashion to presidents, oligarchs, celebrities, criminals, and assorted politicians, is marketing a new line of stylish bullet-proof outfits. The “Vader” is clearly inspired by Vice President Dick Cheney’s now-famous shooting accident.  Says Lucky:

“This is a head shot market for us.  Dick ‘Darth’ Cheney single-handedly raised awareness of hunting ‘accidents.’  Our stylish “Vader” outfit is not only bullet-proof, it puts other hunters on notice that there could be dire consequences from the dark side.”

Hmm.  Did we mention it was “stylish”?   Available in “Safety Orange.”   ‘Nuff said.


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