Palin In The Land Of Goshen

palinprebqNine year old Sarah Palin in her first pre-teen beauty pageant in 1973.

WASILLY  AK— In 1973 Sarah Palin placed third runner-up in the Little Miss Land ‘O Goshen Beauty Pageant, also winning “Best Make-up,” “Best Teeth” and “Most Charmin’ Young Miss” awards.  Historian Gaylord Smellisham of the Society of Beauty Pageant Dilettantes, produced the chilling photograph of a nine year old Sarah Palin that shows the young contestant had a remarkably adult face.

Important Blitherers from the MSM were quick to point out that all pre-teen beauty pageant contestants tend to look “adultish,” due to excessive use of cosmetics, and brutal parental coaching. But I digress.

The “Land of Goshen” according to Genesis 46:31–34:

Then Joseph said to his brothers and his father’s household, “I will go up and speak to Pharaoh and will say to him, ‘My brothers and my father’s household, who were living in the land of Canaan, have come to me. The men are Shepherds; they tend livestock, and they have brought along their flocks and herds and everything they own.’ When Pharaoh calls you in and asks, ‘What is your occupation?’ you should answer, ‘Your servants have tended livestock from our boyhood on, just as our fathers did.’  Then you will be allowed to settle in the region of Goshen, for all shepherds are detestable to the Egyptians.”

So, back in the world of Joseph prevarication by degree was an efficient and acceptable way to get the real estate you desired.  And the same is true of a certain stripe of Christian today, only the worst part of the deal is handed to them; only they live in a world of errors of their own devising.

In her first published back-biter, Sarah Palin weasles around her belief in Creationism.  But if push ever came to shove, she might actually tell the truth:  she does not believe in Evolution— because her belief in the Bible is essentially a fetish of the doctrine of inerrant scripture; consequently she believes in a childish and archaic story of creation, which reveals a fundamental disconnect with the validity of science and the truth of reality.

But the evolution of life through the divine creation-by-fiat of two— count’em, two— white folk living in a salubrious garden is not the only departure from reality Bible fetishists take.  The evolution of all living organisms and the evolution of life itself are related in the terms of a pre-scientific era, with virtually no semblance to actual events.

A pair of contestants in the swimsuit competition with adult-like faces. Left, 8 year old Velocity Ann Beagles, with Tammy Maryline Porcinni, 9.

The creation of the planet earth, the solar system in which it circles a particular star, and the origins of the universe itself, are all concepts so completely reliant on the facts of scientific understanding that ancient superstitious religious dogma must fall by the wayside.
And it cannot go without saying:  the men and women who portend to believe such fables with fetishistic faith, must never again be relied upon to lead us in the 21st century.


The faces of fetish-believing Christians do have the usual features of adults.  But their faces are masking the minds of spiritual children.
And just now, these children are being urged to pray for President Obama by praying PSALM 109:8, so that God may find it in his wisdom to destroy him sooner, rather than later.
Come to think of it, their ignorance around evolution may be the least of our worries, when it comes to a sane society that values truth, beauty, and goodness more than it does hatred, fear, and greed.  And that’s going to require real faith.

Sarah made a bad impression on another contestant; the eye winking must have been annoying back then, too. Heather McLibby did not finish in the top three.

Words eventually became fetishes, more especially those which were regarded as God’s words; in this way the sacred books of many religions have become fetishistic prisons incarcerating the spiritual imagination of man. Moses’ very effort against fetishes became a supreme fetish;  his commandment was later used to stultify art and to retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful.
In olden times the fetish word of authority was a fear-inspiring doctrine, the most terrible of all tyrants which enslave men.

A doctrinal fetish will lead mortal man to betray himself into the clutches of bigotry, fanaticism, superstition, intolerance,  and the most atrocious of barbarous cruelties. Modern respect for wisdom and truth is but the recent escape from the fetish-making tendency up to the higher levels of thinking and reasoning.
—The Urantia Book


  1. Sarah Palin and her brood are not homo sapiens, but homo insciens: ignorant humans. I really would’ve thought their kind had gone the way of the dodo years ago, but I think they endure just out of pure ignominious spite.

    1. Avatar Michael Hart

      Zirgar, Welcome to USojo! It is an enduring problem— the machinations of ignorant and superstitious agitators like Palin, Prejean, Hannity, Beck, etc.
      All the more reason to provide for the wise, intelligent, and fearless interpretation of our charter of liberty.

    1. Avatar Michael Hart

      nonnie you’re probably right about omigoshen, i’m sure it depends on which frackin’ bible version you decide is error free. but i for one am glad she can’t keep her we-eat-moose-pie-hole shut; writing and chopping meaningful stuff is much harder. (hey notice i’m using all lower case jist for your comment, cause doggonit, we really like you and your gun!)

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