Satan was spotted on Capital Hill again today, talking with reporters…
In a rare moment of demonic candor, characteristically angry and frustrated Christian icon, Satan, lashed out at a Fox news crew on Capital Hill today:
FAUX NEWS: Satan, reliable sources have recently disclosed to Fox News that you’ve been working closely with President Obama to foist your will on the American people via the massive government take-over of the health care system, which has been known as the finest health care system in the world until Barack Obama and ACORN managed to steal the election. Why won’t you comment on this, and did you talk with the Anti-Christ today?
SATAN: You know, that’s just fucking crazy. You imbeciles at Fox are an embarrassment to all that’s unholy.
FAUX NEWS: Sir if I may, can I jist git an answer to—
SATAN: NO! NO!! NO!!! You can’t “jist git an answer!” Just Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
FAUX NEWS: But sir, no one has actually seen the president’s birth certifi—
SATAN: (interrupts) Look, you squirt of rectal discharge— do you live up Roger Ailes’ ass?? I work exclusively with Republicans up here! The “Party of NO”!? Do you drink your own fucking cool aid over there at FUX?!?
This isn’t a case of your stupid fucking “they all do it” bullshit— The fowl smelling GOPPERS are the one’s hell-bent on the destruction of the United States, they’re the ones willing to put their selfish personal ambitions ahead of everything, including their shameless exploitation of their ignorant fucking base! Now get the fuck outa my face, you fucking fuck.
FAUX NEWS: But just a minute; regar—
SATAN: Don’t you know who the fuck I am?? How would you like a plague of painful boils and a trip straight to hell?
FAUX NEWS: Does that mean you’ve spoken with the anti-Christ, Barack Hussein Obama today regarding your plans to begin the Apocalypse?
SATAN: You know, if I had only known just how fucking crazy you wingtards would get when I started cultivating hate and fear over at Fux, I would have caramelized every fucking one of your flaccid fucking wee wees with a cheap fucking kitchen torch until they looked like burnt crème brûlée.
You all make me sick.
Satan makes infrequent trips to Capital Hill, but his usual angry demeanor guarantees an inflammatory interview, and always captivates the White House Press Core.
Propagandee on 
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Okay, that was just too goddamn funny. I am linking up to this at my blog!
Oh you lika da Satan aye?
I don’t know how I missed this one.
You out did yourself. This is fucking great!
Oh you lika da Satan toooo, aye?
Bwahahahaaha!