The Crown Jewel of Stupidism [sic]

Decked out in full RWNJ regalia, Michele Bachmann riles up the Yakusa.

The crown jewel of Michele Bachmann‘s (R-Minn.) winger tea-ara is a GOPper sheep.  Not surprisingly, then, at a health care forum on Monday at the Mayo Clinic, she suggested that health care reform in America would lead to a Yakusa-like “gangster government” that would cause the GOPper sheep— those who criticized reform— to be put on a really really dangerous “list,” and kept from receiving the care they so desperately need— in a timely manner.  Or maybe not. at. all.

But first she frightened some patients by waving a two-thousand page document at them as the symbol of the massive government takeover of our health care system.  Then she layed out her simple three point plan for health care reform: 1st, EMPOWER® individuals— by letting them go buy whatever health  they can afford! AND, 2nd, let them buy it anywhere they like! As an added bonus, the cost will be tax free!  And finally, three: When you, or one or more of your loved ones have a catastrophic illness that causes financial disaster, you can deduct it from your income taxes!  And the best part?  The entire bill is just just 32 pages long!

The Minnesota representative then explained that she came by her alarming insight into the future of our health care reform when someone ran into her in a Washington D.C. hallway, and was kind enough to give her the straight dope about the horrible gangster government-run Japanese health care system.  He told her that Japan also has a “government takeover of health care.”  And this is gospel truth because that hallway informant actually lived in Japan under the yoke of gangster government health care.


In Japan, you get on a list and you wait. You have to wait to get in and to get health care is almost impossible. You get on a list and you wait and you wait and you wait. But he said this is something people don’t know: in Japan, people have stopped voicing their opinion on health care. There are things that are wrong with Japanese health care, but people [aren’t] voicing. ‘Well why is that?’ I asked. He said it’s ‘Because they know that would get on a list and they wouldn’t get health care. They wouldn’t get in. They wouldn’t get seen.

And so people are afraid! They’re afraid to speak back to government! They’re afraid to say anything! Is that what we want for our future?!?  That takes us to gangster government at that point! And absolute abject corruption! THATS —NOT!— WHO!— WE!—ARE!

Bachmann finished this stupifying speech by vowing not to give up the fight against the government takeover of health care, saying, “The government takeover of health care is the crown jewel of socialism.”  And that is what makes Michele Bachmann the crown jewel of stupidism. [sic]

(The Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune fact-checked Bachmann’s assertions and was unable to find evidence of the No Health Care For You! List.)


  1. Avatar Seeing Eye Chick

    Maybe we should appoint a shrink to diagnose and treat her condition. I keep waiting for her to admit that she hears voices and see things that no one else does.

    That doesn’t have to be a life ending announcement, except for the fact that she is as paranoid as a two tailed cat in a rocking chair factory.

  2. i think batshit bachmann should use that as her official pic when she campaigns to be emperor of japan. just think of how many people over there have to be converted to christianity. and just think of how many tales she can tell of americans who told her stories of near-fatal accidental stabbings with chopsticks as she attempts to move the country to forks.

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