Terror Babies & Moo Goo Dog Pan

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Jon Stewart opened his show last night featuring clips of Rep. Louis Gohmert (Wingnut-TX) railing on about terror babies, Chinese plots to feed us our pets, bestiality, necrophilia, and the obligatory reference to President Obama as Hitler and, in a moment of typical  Teabagger projection, Obama’s supporters as “useful idiots.”

Stewart asks the obvious question: “Are we sure this guy isn’t from South Carolina?

Well, I didn’t know much about Gomer either so I googled him. He was elected to Congress in 2003 on the heels of The Hammer‘s redistricting coup, winning Texas’ 1st Congressional District, a seat that had been held by a Democrat every term since Reconstruction.

Gomer is a Birther, co-sponsoring H.R. 1503 that would:

“…amend the Federal Election Campaign Act of 1971 to require the principal campaign committee of a candidate for election to the office of President to include with the committee’s statement of organization a copy of the candidate’s birth certificate, together with such other documentation as may be necessary to establish that the candidate meets the qualifications for eligibility to the Office of President under the Constitution.”

And he has an obvious flair for the dramatic. It was was he, who during President Obama’s address to a joint session of Congress in September ’09, had cardboard signs in his lap that read “What Bill?” and “What Plan?”, references to the health insurance reform bill that was then making its way through Congress.

But let’s be fair and balanced.  According to his own official web site:

Louie serves on numerous House committees and subcommittees. He was recently named Ranking Member of the Judiciary subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism and Homeland Security due to his extensive knowledge stemming from years in the court room.

Prior to being elected to serve in Congress, Louie was elected to three terms as District Judge in Smith County, Texas. During his tenure on the bench, he gained national and international attention for some of his innovative rulings. He was later appointed by Texas Governor Rick Perry to complete a term as Chief Justice of the 12th Court of Appeals.

And here I was ready to write him off as just another wingnut crank! (Pardon the redundancy.) Before he entered politics, Gomer was an actual judge, appointed (for a whole year) to be the Chief Justice of a Texas state appellate court. His CV states he is known for his “innovative rulings.”  I bet.  Now there’s a Rolling Stone article just begging to be written.

I spent nearly a decade in and out of courtrooms in two states during which I was able to observe the demeanor and intelligence of more than a few judges presiding over a variety of civil, criminal, and juvenile cases. If I had been part of a legal team whose client had been assigned Judge Gomer to hear his or her case, I would fully expect the partners to encourage, even beg, for an early settlement. And failing that, to fire the client. ( I could whip out a Substitution of Counsel Motion pretty damn fast, back in the day.)  Some things just aren’t worth the money.

Makes you wonder what this country would look like a few years hence if the Gomerts, Angles, Bachmanns, Kings, Palins, Foxes, and other assorted Rethug wingnuts succeed in recapturing the executive and legislative branches.

Stephen King— call your agent.

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