Newt’s Obsession With Screwing America


Referring to his past infidelities, the Newtster confesses to the Christian Broadcasting Network that it was his love for his country that made him do it.

There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.

Last night on his show, Stephen Colbert analyzed Newt’s moral/patriotic dilemma:

Newt knows that before he can through his giant hat into the ring, he has to explain his past positions. Specifically why those positions were so often on top of women who weren’t his wife.

With this patriotic defense of his inappropriate behavior, all Newt’s saying is he really wants to screw America. And if we elect him president, he’ll keep that promise.

‘Nuff said.

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