So. Fuck the “news.”
Come on. Why is it “news” when a cue ball like Bob Corker breaks lock step with John Crybaby and tells Fux Noise there is a “…chance for a deal” on a budget deal?
Who gives a shit if Karl Rove gets dissed by Sarah what’s-her-lameness?
Are you going to lose any sleep over the delay of the Cyprus Bank Levy vote?
And how is that weird stabbing pain in your gluteus maximus any different than hearing Newton Leroy Gingrich has been staring at candles and shared his “thinking” about them at CPAC?
And how did you overlook Taylor Swift‘s legs in a pair of denim “short shorts”? [sic]
Surely you’re keeping up with Prince, Paris, and Blanket Jackson, in their pursuit of $40 billion dollars from AEG?
Why does a sixteen year old Steubenville child need to find out via text messages from “friends”— some who apparently took photos of her at the scene of the crime— that she’s been gang raped by high school boys? (Want to stop ALL RAPE immediately in this country? The world? Make the punishment for conviction of rape for any biped above the age of fifteen, DEATH— by high velocity lead penetration to the temple. And do it within 30 days of ONE failed appeal after conviction. I guaran-effin-tee you that rape, the homicide rate, and any other capital offense you care to add, will drop like a rock in a swimming pool.
And you know. On and on and effin’ on with the endless, mind-numbing distractions that paralyze an increasingly obese and jaded populace. Jennifer Lopez Flashes Bra During Day Out With Her Twins (PHOTO) Kim Kardashian‘s Bump On Full Display At ‘Temptation’ Premiere In Atlanta (PHOTO) Elisabeth Hasselbeck‘s Days At ‘The View’ Are Reportedly Numbered; Princess Diana‘s Dresses Head To Auction; Healthy Food ‘Not Our Personality,’ Says Fast Food CEO; Dead Pig Count In China’s Waters Near Shanghai Spikes (GRAPHIC PHOTOS) [The same “waters” 23 million people depend on for drinking water.] Elderly Man Eats Roadkill—Yeah, Even The Disgusting Mangled Kind (VIDEO) [And speaking of roadkill]: Roadkill Couture To Unveil Bridal Gowns Featuring Dead Animals (PHOTOS) Ex-Food Exec: Food Industry ‘Puts Profits Over Public Health’; Ex-Bailout Watchdog: JPMorgan’s Actions ‘Entirely Consistent With Fraud’; Mr. Ann Coulter Tells Harsh Christie Joke… and a few million more synaptic responses wasted like that.
America has gone all Bosto Ket.