My God! It’s Got Five Bars!

iPhone Monolith My God! Its Got Five Bars!
No, it had five bars for a sec, really.

iPhone Monolith:  Something’s going to happen.
Dave Bowman:  What?  What’s going to happen?

iPhone Monolith:  Something wonderful.
Dave Bowman:  Okay…  When?

iPhone Monolith:  When you die.
Dave Bowman:  Whe— when I die!?!  WTF!

iPhone Monolith:  Sorry, Dave.
Dave Bowman:  Hey;  is this HAL?  HAL is that you?

iPhone Monolith:  No, Dave;  this isn’t HAL.
Dave Bowman:  Who the hell is sending this?

iPhone Monolith:  I’m sorry, Dave, I don’t know.
Dave Bowman:  Hm.  Alright, then tell me what “wonderful” thing is going to happen when I die.

iPhone Monolith:  You’re going to  …   …
Dave Bowman: Hello?

Dave Bowman: Hel—Hello??

Dave Bowman: Can you hear me??
Dave Bowman:  God DAMMIT!  Fucking machines.


Yes, Dave Bowman got fucked over by a machine.  It happens to all of us.  But you are luckier than Dave.  You are on the internets, and you have undiscovered resources at your disposal that you haven’t even dreamed of.

So. If you want to know what wonderful thing is really going to happen when you die, watch this.

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