Republicans In Search Of A More Perfect ClusterPhuque

Uncle Ben's Brain

Uncle Ben Carson’s Rice For Brains brand of rhetoric was on display at the third Republican Debate in Boulder, Colorado; yawwwwn.

BOULDER, COLORADO (OOPS) — Retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson got a few synapses more attention in the third Republican Debate, after polls in Iowa show him atop what passes for the GOP field of candidates.  But nobody really noticed, because they were watching the World Series.

Carson‘s somnolent, rice for brains debate style has proven surprisingly attractive to some:  tea partiers, religious conservatives, low information voters;  soap opera devotees, yak riders, and non-sentient lumps of organic material.
But it’s going to take more than a torpid gentlemanly stupor to keep Carson at the top of the heap, which still includes bitchy Ohio Gov. John Kasich, Kiss my fat ass New Jersey Governor Chris Christie,  God loves me more than you former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, Filibuster lite Kentucky Sen. RAND Paul,  Why so serious Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, Texas thingamajig up his butt Ted Cruz, holy frejoles JEB!®, ex-CEO lady Carly Fiorina, and world class flatulent narcissist, Donald J. Trump.

When the candidates were initially asked to describe any “weaknesses” they might have, Carson admitted that he could not see himself as president– until, that is,”Hundreds of thousands of people” told him he should be president.  I’m right there with you, Ben;  I can’t see you there either.  And while that may be an honest answer from uncle Ben, just where are those “hundreds of thousands” of people he’s talking about?

If you bothered to watch the debate,  you probably came away hating the media and the government more than you already did, are wondering why President Obama doesn’t support police officers, and why the fancy brains in Government can’t address more than one issue at a time, like fantasy football betting and climate change. But if you are a Republican you already knew that government is to blame for everything under the sun. And choke, surprise, that’s why all ten of these shit sticks want to run it— cuzz we need a more perfect clusterphuque.

Kansas City won.





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