THE IDIOT BASTARD SON

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The idiot bastard son:
(THE FATHER’S A NAZI IN CONGRESS TODAY . . .
THE MOTHER’S A HOOKER SOMEWHERE IN L.A.)

 

The idiot bastard son:
(ABANDONED TO PERISH IN BACK OF A CAR . . .
KENNY WILL STASH HIM AWAY IN A JAR)
THE IDIOT BOY!

 

• • •

 

Kenny will feed him & Ronnie will watch
THE CHILD WILL THRIVE & GROW
And enter the world
Of liars & cheaters & people like you
Who smile & think you know
What this is about

 

—Frank Zappa

FSociety: The Feral Dog Sweats

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Faithless readers of this blog will not recognize yet another unheard of magazine atop a post, the reviewing of which is one of our favorite distractions as we hunker down for the inevitable unraveling of TRUMP’merica©.
MAGOT” MAGAzine— an acronym for “Make America Get Over Trump”—  (good luck with that, fellow optimists), is our latest, and tiny hands down, most traumatic find to date.  See other Mags here, herehere, here, here, and WhyTFN, a TeeVee mag here.

 

Normally we like to regale our occasional readers with the quaint back story of how we come across these often bizarre publications, but honestly, this POS* was found at the local Department of Motor Vehicles, and there’s simply nothing more to be said about that lost-time experience that would do anything but pull the scab off a perennial psychic wound.

 

Oh yeah.  Some of our fellow Americans don’t watch television, but enough of us do that, chances are, you’ve seen the term “FSociety” in relation to the series, MR. ROBOT.  Their usage of the term is in conjunction with the traditional “F” word.  But in TRUMP’merica©, we’re redefining the “F” word to mean FAKE;  not fuck.  As in “FAKE” Society.  But it’s not the usage of the word “fake” that the feral dog inhabiting the White House has been abusing for the past year.  It’s reality itself.  But Trump only applies the term to any media outlet with the temerity to report the news about him with respect to facts in evidence, facts in reality.

So here we are. In FSociety, the president is addicted to Twitter.  It’s become a daily raging barometer of his griplessness.  In FSociety, the president is a self-admitted justice-obstructing, pussy-grabbing sexual predator, accused by, at last count, sixteen women.  In FSociety, the president has blathered out over 1600 verifiable lies— just since taking office.

In FSociety, the president’s National Security Advisor has pled guilty to lying to the FBI, and before too much longer will very likely give up all the lying, money-laundering, justice-obstructing, treasonous country-fucking turds who he colluded with last year.

 

Go ahead.  Take a deep, life-giving breath if you can.  And realize this:
If indeed our gut-shot democracy has a breath of life left in it, it’s currently being used to keep Robert Mueller alive.

 

*Piece Of Satire

 

HOUSE OF TURDS

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HOUSE of TURDS

“You are going to be so tired of winning.”
—Donald Trump

 

TEEVEE LAND, WASHINGTON D.C. —  Murderous rat and fictional television President, Francis Underwood, exists in a world of make-believe, fake news, and lies.  Or does he.  “Power is a lot like real estate,” says Frank.  “It’s all about location, location, location;  the closer you are to the source, the higher your property value.”  More on powerful real estate in a bit.

In the Netflix Original Series HOUSE of CARDS, Frank and Claire Underwood and Team Underwood wield power in sixty-five carefully crafted episodes spanning five seasons, and they do it with the kind of ruthless teevee amorality TRUMP’merikan© zombies have come to expect from their mostly elected leaders.  But if you binged-watched season five, then you’re all done with their political intrigues for another year.

Yeah;  fuck that,  in the twenty-first century after Christ, entertainment is a daily must-have experience.  

So real Americans binge watch the nation’s hottest new series, HOUSE OF TURDS, airing 24/7 on at least three news networks— and there have already been more than 135 unforgettable episodes!  What’s more, there are exciting new episodes every freakin’ day of the week, with bombshell after bombshell events.  Now that’s some real reality television for yooz TRUMP’merikans© who wanted to “shake things up.”

 

You’ll remember last year — yeah, just last year — there was a lot of media rubber-lipping about Trump starting a propaganda news channel after he lost the election. . . (assuming he’s not locked up). . .  Weh – heh – hell.  It sure as shit seems like he has co-opted some endless coverage on all three news channels, and, he’s making someone else pay. NO, not Mexico, dumbass.  All of US.

 

“The road to power is paved with hypocrisy, and casualties.”
—Francis Underwood

 

But back to Frank’s real estate metaphor.  Some people say President Trump knows something about real estate, too, even international real estate.  And thanks to an increasingly clear confluence of events and forces beyond our meager teevee land knowing, he has laid claim to the most sought after real estate in our entire nation, the White House.

 

“Democracy is highly overrated.”
Frank Underwood  —Donald Trump

“I think I can’t do much better, right?”
—Donald Trump

 

The question so many Americans have about that particular acquisition is, just how did he actually swing that deal?

Well.  If you want the answer to that question and a hundred more, you are going to have to keep both eyes on HOUSE of TURDS.  And watch your back while you’re at it.

 

A Friday Message From Your Emperor

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The Emperor's New Duds

President Trump lands in Abu Dhabi, compulsively showing off his tiniest digits again and again as an aid shields her eyes from the sight of his . . .  character.

 

 

A Message From Your Emperor:

Hello American people, as I begin my very important first trip to another great hemisphere, I want to tell you that I will be thinking and working for you while I’m busy doing other things, believe me.  You know how much I loved my previous life, you know I had so many things going.  I was building the world’s greatest buildings, all over the world.  But not in Russia.  Zero in Russher [sic]. This is more work than in my previous life, that I can tell you.  I thought it would be easier, I thought, you know, I can shoot somebody now and nobody will care, right?

And I absolutely CAN fire anyone I want to, and I thought after the huge numbers, the record setting crowds at my inauguration, there were so many people there, that. . . [aside to camera man]:  Here, you can take that, that’s the final map of the numbers.  It’s pretty good, right?  The red is obviously us.  Amazing right?

So as I was saying, Director Comey, who I just fired, was very unpopular, you know, with almost everyone, and another problem, one, he was just too tall, taller than the president, and two, that’s not a good thing, believe me;  I was thinking I was going to fire him for that horrible Wednesday thing he did, but really he was just really too tall for the job, so there was no choice.

And I gave my ADDress to the cadets the other day, who were very glad to see me, they know how big our victory was, despite the electoral college being stacked against us.  I mean, you’re really into your own little cocoon here, I’m under very great pressure here, because you have such massive protection that you really can’t go anywhere.

I mean, I always like to drive.  I like to drive;  but I can’t drive any more.  I can’t drive any more.  Even though I’m a very fantastic driver, I’ve probably driven better than anyone, as good as you know, any non-professional, really.  And maybe many professionals;  I mean who knows, right?  But I have, I had the gloves, very nice leather, all very fine leather, with the little holes for breathing, I was very very good. Such a good driver.  Now I can’t drive, I’m too popular, and a few bad people make it impossible for me to drive down the street.  Very sad.

Frankly, I’m working so hard this 100 days, we’re doing incredible things, just incredible things here, and at the Southern White House, where I get a lot, an enormous amount of work done for our great American people;  some of the people, not all of them, but most of them.  But things are not always fair;  not fair;  look at the way I’ve been treated lately;  especially by the horrible media. Horrible people.
No politician in history has been treated worse, or more unfairly.  But nothing worth doing ever, ever, ever came easy to me, yet you look at my numbers—  no not my tax numbers, nobody wants to see those anyway, right—  I’ve accomplished a tremendous amount in a very short time ;  very short time as president.  Jobs are pouring back in, back in to our country, a BRAND NEW supreme court justice is going to be fantastic for forty-five years;  border crossings are down 70% in just a very short period of time;  a total record, by the way, by… a LOT;  we’ve SAVED the second amendment, and we’re going to take care of our veterans, like they’ve never been taken care of before;  that I can tell you.  Thank you very much.  Thank you.  [Thumbs up]

This Week In Fake Fake News

Fake Fake News

“Fake News”?  Or fake “Fake News;”  can you tell the difference?  If you want to smell the rats, you must click it.

WASHINGTON D.C. — Now that we have a self-flagellating Liar-in-Chief who plays golf every week on your dime and has blown out the first family security budget in less than two months just to keep Milania a safe distance from his gelatinous girth, we can get on with trying to figure out what “alternative facts” are simply fake news, and what stories are actually fake fake news— and forget about the impending doom coming from the shitstorm of incompetence and lies that explodes from what is euphemistically called “the Trump administration blow hole” at least twice a day.  Here’s a compilation of what I mean symbolically represented by “drivers.”


That’s right;  there were a lot of Russian “connections.”

And forget about tRump‘s “possible collusion” with the Russians. The fact that, on the surface, it looks like a spider’s web of lying underlings and rudderless sycophants doesn’t mean that underneath there is a rat’s nest¹ of betrayal and treason that the American people, should they ever shake off their stupidity, would be horrified and truly filled with rage.  We are far too busy keeping track of his day-to-day bullshit to be bothered by reality; i.e., the voter fraud bullshit, the wiretap bullshit, the muslim ban bullshit, etc…  Especially when there is plenty of fake news to digest and excrete, and now, welcome fake fake news to delight and distract us from, well, plain ol factual news, from reliable sources.
It used to be a thing.

¹A situation or condition that is characterized by messiness, disorder, disarray, and/or confusion.