. . .The Tea Party is over.
It’s just that they will never know it.
The flagship burger of McDonaldland is the Big Mac, shown above with a list of its ingredients supplied by McDonalds.
McDONALDLAND — Refusing to answer questions about Mayor McCheese‘s crack cocaine use, McLisa McComb, a spokeswoman for McDonald’s USA, announced the demise of the online presence of the McResource program, following the solicited appearance on their McWebsite of “unnecessary McViews and McCriticism” of their cheeseburgers and fries.
“We have offered the McResource program to help our valued McDonald’s McEmployees with McWork and McLife McGuidance, prepared by independent third party McExperts. A combination of McFactors
beyond our controlhas led us to refuse to expose ourselves to outside criticismsre-evaluate, and we’ve directed our McVendor to take down the McWebsite. Between links to expositoryirrelevant and horrendousoutdated information, along with outside groups we can’t control, exposingtaking elements out of context, we realized we were paying forthis unwarranted McScrutiny and damaginginappropriate commentary,” McComb said, in a freshly prepared McStatement with no Mcfillers or Mc-xtenders.She munched on: “None of this helps our McDonald’s McTeam McMembers. [laughter] Without the McWebsite, we’ll be forced to provide Mcservice to them through an internal telephone McHelp line, which is how the majority of McEmployees access the McResource McServices anyway.”
The site now shows Ronald McDonald with a speech balloon saying: “We’ll Be Back real McSoon! We are temporarily performing some McMaintenance in order to provide you with the McBest experience possible! Please excuse us while these McUpgrades are being McMade with only the freshest ingredients!”
The fast-food advice flap is the latest blunder involving the site during the last few months. Recent tone-deaf advice to employees included a tipping guide, with suggestions for tipping au pairs, personal fitness trainers, and sure, pool cleaners.
This sorry-assed excuse for a magazine found its way into my personal space yesterday. Not only was it not funny, but it pissed me off in a way that I have seldom experienced since I stopped abusing certain vile foamy liquids and other assorted borderline ingestibles.
Many of you are too young in this adventure to remember National LAMPOON magazine, let alone one of their most memorable covers, from January 1973. (See it here.) But unlike that cover, this parody did not make me feel sorry for the Boner-as-victim of his own groveling attempts to destroy the American government and … you know what, just forget it.
Forget all the antics of the Republican “party” for a moment. Just answer this question: Why is a sniveling crybaby the Speaker of the House of Representatives of the United States?
Is this really the best creature we can squeeze out of our gene pool?
Apparently it is, so then, go ahead, Repuglican’ts; do your worst, you catatonic douchebags.
America has it coming.
Grayson sums it up like this:
First, it’s not our responsibility.
Secondly, whatever we do won’t actually accomplish anything useful.
Third, it’s expensive.
And fourth, it’s dangerous.
First, it’s not only our responsibility, it’s every nation’s responsibility.
Secondly, if we do something on our own, we won’t accomplish anything useful, but we will create even more global animosity towards the United States.
Third, yes, bloody expensive.
Fourth, dangerous, foolish, and criminal.
Here is Grayson’s DontAttackSyria.com petition:
“The Administration is considering intervening in the Syrian civil war. We oppose this. There’s no vital national security involved. We are not the world’s policeman, nor its judge and jury. Our own needs in America are great, and they come first. The death of civilians is always regrettable, and civil war is regrettable, but no Americans have been attacked, and no American allies have been attacked. The British Parliament understandably has voted not to join in any attack. Notably, defense contractor Raytheon’s stock is up 20% in the last 60 days. It seems that nobody wants US intervention in Syria except the military-industrial complex. I oppose US military intervention in Syria. Join me.”
Ban-Ki-moon, United Nations Secretary-General, said this Tuesday:
“The use of force is lawful only when in exercise of self-defense in accordance with Article 51 of the United Nations Charter and/or when the Security Council approves such action. That is the firm principle of the United Nations.”
Grayson and others are right: we “are not the world’s policeman.” But our membership in the United Nations means we are a cosignatory to a document designed to ensure world law and order, and there are rules, man. . .
If we act unilaterally, or outside of our obligations to the member nations, we are acting as a rogue nation, and committing another* war crime.
It’s time to start demonstrating we can walk the walk of a nation dedicated to world peace. And that means acting in consort with the decision of United Nations, and then helping to see their legal mandates are carried out. That means ALL nations have to contribute either boots (with people wearing them), equipment, etc., or MONEY.
It’s time for abandoning the twin sophistries of sovereignty and self-determination. The nations of the world will finally begin to enjoy peace when they freely surrender their respective sovereignties into the hands of a truly global government— the sovereignty of the brotherhood of mankind. In this world state, the small nations will be as powerful as the great, even as a small state like Rhode Island has its two senator just the same as the populous state of New York or huge area of Texas.
Global sovereignty is the only sovereignty that will prevent global wars— nothing else can. Global wars will go on until the government of mankind is created. The nations of the world have not possessed real sovereignty; they never have had a sovereignty which could protect them from the ravages and devastations of world wars.
In the creation of the global government of mankind, the nations are not giving up sovereignty so much as they are actually creating a real, bona fide, and lasting world sovereignty, which will henceforth be fully able to protect them from all war. Local affairs will be handled by local governments; national affairs, by national governments; international affairs will be administered by global government.
And under a world government, the individual will enjoy far more liberty. Today, the citizens of the great powers— US— are taxed, regulated, and controlled oppressively, and much of the present interference with our individual liberties will vanish when the national governments are willing to trustee their sovereignty as regards international affairs, into the hands of a true global government.
Under global government ALL national groups will be afforded a real opportunity to realize and enjoy the personal liberties of genuine democracy. The fallacy of self-determination will be ended. With global regulation of money and trade will come a new era of world-wide peace.
There simply is no better way to world peace.
You cannot prevent nations going to war as long as they remain infected with the delusional virus of national sovereignty. Internationalism is a step in the right direction. An international police force will prevent many minor wars, but it will not be effective in preventing major wars, conflicts between the great military governments of earth.
—The Urantia Book
Save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs,
Listen to your heart bleed
Dummy with the rapture
And the revered and the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light,
Feeling pretty psyched
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
The discovery of truth— personally discovered truth— is the supreme delight of the human soul. People are discovering in ever greater numbers that you don’t need a second-hand, dogmatized and “infallible” doctrine— evolutionary religion— to personally discover spiritual truth, or to experience religious insight in your soul, derived from the world of things and beings.
“True religion” and “organized, evolutionary religions” are vastly different things, and the latter does not satisfy our search for individual meaning and purpose in an increasingly complex existence. People are leaving the churches in droves, not because they are abandoning religion, but to find real meaning through their own intellect, in their own soul, through their own experience. It is the best thing to happen to organized religions in two thousand years, and it will continue until the churches which embrace new truth are eventually rehabilitated, while the ones which refuse to change are destroyed.
Thus the adage, “All things work together for good” remains truer than ever.
Be sure to catch Donald J. Chump’s cameo appearance.