FASCIST (Updated)

 Posted by on November 20, 2015 at 5:00 PM
Nov 202015

Trump Fascist

“We’re going to have to do things that we never did before. Some people are going to be upset about it, but I think that now everybody is feeling that security is going to rule.”
— Donald tRump


Betty’s Pie Whole is the last place on earth that you would expect to find a copy of FASCIST magazine. It’s strictly a place for stuffing delicious pie into one’s pie hole.  That’s it.  So finding this cover of FASCIST staring up at me from a booth seat was sort of like finding a piece of fresh ‘n gnarly roadkill stuck to a church pew;  emphasis on “pewww.”

But there it was.  And being me, I was compelled to pick it up.  As you can see, the cover is, well, Damaging.  If I have to explain that, you wouldn’t understand.  I started paging through the Mag after ordering a strawberry-rhubarb pie, to find Trump saying, “We’re going to have to do things that we never did before. Some people are going to be upset about it, but I think that now everybody is feeling that security is going to rule.”  He’s right; I’m upset; he’s ruining my pie fest, and my country.

Yesterday, Trump apparently refused to say how his Muslim “registry” would be different from the Nazi’s policy of forcing Jews to register. The New York Times:

When asked how a system of registering Muslims would be carried out — whether, for instance, mosques would be where people could register — Mr. Trump said: “Different places. You sign up at different places. But it’s all about management. Our country has no management.’’

Asked later, as he signed autographs, how such a database would be different from Jews having to register in Nazi Germany, Mr. Trump repeatedly said, “You tell me,” until he stopped responding to the question.

Public Policy Polling completed just yesterday found that 27% of likely Republican primary voters support shutting down all mosques in the U.S.  Just 38% said they opposed the idea, and 35% were too busy searching for their own butt to even answer.

So Ima have to get back to you on this, after I read the mag, drink some wine, and I have some pie to finish; but I’ll tell you this.  I’m already intellectually apoplectic over Trump’s comments, and just forget about Carson’s comparison of Syrian refugees to rabid dogs.  These nut jobs have already ruined the holidays, not to mention the next year of our lives.  Bet on it.

Fear mongering is like sex for Republicans, and they just can’t get enough of it.  I think it’s about absolutely time to bring the hammer* down on their little we we’s… there’s no place for this shit in America.

*Yeah, a two pound hammer.


Let’s start with a few facts.


Trump was pressed on the idea of a registry by an NBC News reporter Thursday evening while the candidate campaigned in Iowa. Asked if there should be a database system for tracking Muslims in the United States, Trump said, “There should be a lot of systems, beyond databases.”  The reporter asked if that was something Trump would put in place as president. Trump replied: “I would certainly implement that. Absolutely.”

Trump also told the reporter that Muslims would “have to be” registered and said that the registration process could occur at “different places.”

So let the weaseling begin.

In an interview on Fox News Channel on Friday evening, Trump tried to clarify his position. “I want a watch list for the Syrian refugees that (President Barack) Obama’s going to let in if we don’t stop him as Republicans,” he said.

As “Republicans”;  not Americans. Because Americans don’t play that shit.

“I want to have watch lists. I want to have surveillance. I mean, we’re not a bunch of babies,” he said.

Not a “bunch of babies”?  Sigh.

Trump has also voiced support for closing certain mosques as a way to contain the terrorist threat in the U.S.

The House passed legislation this past week essentially barring Syrian and Iraqi refugees from the United States. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., has slotted the bill for possible Senate consideration, though it’s unclear whether the chamber could get enough votes to override a threatened veto by President Barack Obama.

The Republican candidates’ unified criticism of Trump was striking.

His rivals have vacillated in how they have handled other inflammatory comments from Trump, apparently wary of alienating his supporters while increasingly concerned that he has held his grip on the race deep into the fall.

Other perspectives.

Civil liberties experts said a database for Muslims would be unconstitutional on several counts. The libertarian Cato Institute’s Ilya Shapiro said the idea violates basic privacy and liberty rights.

Marci Hamilton, a Yeshiva University legal expert on religious liberty, said requiring Muslims to register appears to be a clear violation of the Constitution’s protection of religious freedom.  “What the First Amendment does and what it should do is drive the government to use neutral criteria,” Hamilton said. “You can use neutral criteria to identify terrorists. What it can’t do is engage in one-religion bashing. That won’t fly in any court.”

Hubba hubba.  Reality.

Democratic front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton, at a Tennessee rally Friday evening, said, “Mr. Trump has attacked Mexican immigrants, he’s attacked women, and now he’s attacking Muslim Americans. At some point you have to ask yourself, is that the kind of country we are?”

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders said Trump’s words were “outrageous and bigoted.”

One of those comments actually gets right to the point.

Ohio Gov. John Kasich said requiring people to register with the federal government because of their religion “strikes against all that we have believed in our nation’s history.”

See?  At least one Republican is able to state the obvious.

Ben Carson, the retired neurosurgeon who has challenged Trump’s lead in the GOP race, said the U.S. should have a database on “every foreigner who comes into this country,” but he rejected the idea of tracking U.S. citizens based on their religion.  “One of the hallmarks of America is that we treat everybody the same,” he said. “If we’re just going to pick out a particular group of people based on their religion, based on their race, based on some other thing, that’s setting a pretty dangerous precedent.”

Because, picking out a particular group of people— “foreigners”?  “…based on their religion, based on their race, based on some other thing”— some thing like, say, being immigrants, or refugees, who don’t want their children to die in a senseless war—  “…that [is] setting a pretty dangerous precedent.”  Could his soft-pedaling of racism and bigotry as “setting a pretty dangerous precedent” be meant to ease the shock of America’s actual values on the Republican base, who Carson and Trump are depending on to win the nomination?

“Old things are passing away;
behold, all things are becoming new.”

Perhaps.  But Fuck that.  Any candidate—Republican or whatever— willing to take a dump on our values for political gain, for fear of the “foreigner”— must, as the seer of old said—  pass away. And I say, good riddance.


 Posted by on November 13, 2015 at 4:12 PM
Nov 132015

MITTWilliard “Mitt” Romney

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. . . It may be time to review some of the more insane republicans out there who are currently unemployed. Like Mitt.
Oh, and have a great weekend, y’all.

Republicans In Search Of A More Perfect ClusterPhuque

 Posted by on October 29, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Oct 292015

Uncle Ben's Brain

Uncle Ben Carson’s Rice For Brains brand of rhetoric was on display at the third Republican Debate in Boulder, Colorado; yawwwwn.

BOULDER, COLORADO (OOPS) — Retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson got a few synapses more attention in the third Republican Debate, after polls in Iowa show him atop what passes for the GOP field of candidates.  But nobody really noticed, because they were watching the World Series.

Carson’s somnolent, rice for brains debate style has proven surprisingly attractive to some:  tea partiers, religious conservatives, low information voters;  soap opera devotees, yak riders, and non-sentient lumps of organic material.  But it’s going to take more than a torpid gentlemanly stupor to keep Carson at the top of the heap, which still includes bitchy Ohio Gov. John Kasich, Kiss my fat ass New Jersey Governor Chris Christie,  God loves me more former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, Filibuster lite Kentucky Sen. RAND Paul,  Why so serious Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, Texas thingamajig Ted Cruz, holy frejoles JEB!®, ex-CEO lady Carly Fiorina, and world class flatulent narcissist Donald J. Trump.

When the candidates were initially asked to describe any “weaknesses” they might have, Carson admitted that he could not see himself as president–until, that is,”Hundreds of thousands of people” told him he should be president.  I’m right there with you, Ben;  I can’t see you there either.  And while that may be an honest answer from uncle Ben, just where are those “hundreds of thousands” of people he’s talking about?

If you bothered to watch the debate,  you probably came away hating the media and the government more than you already did, are wondering why President Obama doesn’t support police officers, and why the fancy brains in Government can’t address more than one issue at a time, Like fantasy football betting and climate change. But if you are a Republican you already knew that government is to blame for everything under the sun. And choke, surprise, that’s why all ten of these shit sticks want to run it— cuzz we need a more perfect clusterphuque.

Kansas City won.






 Posted by on August 24, 2015 at 9:40 AM
Aug 242015



In Mary Shelley’s classic sci-fi horror novel, Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus (1818), her protagonist, the brilliant Dr. Viktor Frankenstein, allows his hubris to get the better of him by assuming the powers of the Creator. His monstrous faux human creation, without name or number in the original—let’s call him “Donald” for now– refers to himself initially as “the Adam of your labours,” and subsequently as “your fallen angel.”  Assembled from the disjointed body parts of dead humans, the good Doc’s beloved creation rebels and tries to destroy him.

Which pretty much describes Donald Trump’s relationship with the GOP establishment. His political persona is as much a creation of the political arm of the GOP, Fux News, as it is one of his own devising. Prior to the first, now infamous, 2016 Republican presidential debate, Trump was a regular weekly guest on Fux’s morning program, Fux and Friends, which gave him a long-running, high profile forum to build his political persona. A marriage made in heaven for an extreme narcissist and a cable network, both seeking maximum public attention and approval.

Behind the scenes at Fux corporate, however, trouble was brewing between Fux owner, Rupert Murdoch (an immigrant himself), who wanted to dump Trump; and its president, former Nixon communications adviser Roger Ailes, who wanted to keep him. Murdoch called Trump “wrong” and “embarrassing,” a sentiment his other propaganda organ, the Wall Street Journal, reinforced when it labeled Trump a “catastrophe.” Ailes, on the other hand, knows ratings gold when he sees it and came to Trump’s defense.

Murdoch initially prevailed, as evidenced by Fux News rising star host, Megyn Kelly’s out of the gate attack on Trump at the first GOP presidential primary debate. Megyn confronted Trump with a number of his misogynist statements over the years. Trump did his best to deflect her prosecution, resorting to another of his patented Rosie O’Donnell’ slurs, subsequently implying in a tweet that Kelly was on the rag at the time. Murdoch seemed to have gained the edge at this point, having given Trump plenty ‘nuff rope to hang himself. But when the ratings came in for the debate, which showed that the event had far surpassed the previous record for any comparable cable tv broadcast, Murdoch (now in his dotage), surrendered the playing field, proving that for the bottom line at least, Roger is good for what Ailes ya…if you’re a Fux stockholder, that is. Meanwhile, having been thrown under the corporate bus, Megyn took an extended vacation. (MSNBC, in a severe ratings funk, should hire her to replace the execrable Joe Scarborough.)

So now, it’s back to the future, with Fux once again making kissy face with Trump. And that means either accepting or rejecting his extreme proposals for immigration reform (the only policy paper his campaign has released to date), exactly the issue that the GOP establishment wants to avoid. After their resounding defeat in the 2012 presidential election, they performed an “autopsy” that found that without a much higher percentage of the Latino vote, they’ll never get the keys to the White House again. Where their last successful presidential run, the re-election of George W. Bush in 2004, mustered 40% of the Latino vote, Mitt Romney received only 27%, a 13 point drop. Attempts to produce a viable immigration reform package, perhaps the greatest concern of Hispanic voters, have failed miserably—just ask past presidential candidate John McCain and current presidential candidates Lindsey Graham, Jeb Bush, and Marco Rubio. Unable to quell the racist, nativist sentiments of their Tea Party base, the GOP establishment decided it was better to downplay or ignore the issue altogether.  

But now that the Trumpestein monster has broken his restraints and left the table, marauding across the countryside and terrorizing the peasants (cue music: The Monster Mash...it caught on in a flash.), the GOP is forced to reanimate the issue. Which means addressing Trump’s promise to: (1) deport 11 million undocumented immigrants (and their families, whether they were born in the US or not); (2) end birthright citizenship (guaranteed by the 14th Amendment); and (3) build a really, really yooge wall (extending 2000 miles at an estimated cost of $168 billion).

Re item (1), not only does Trump want to deport Mexican rapists, murderers, and drug dealers, but also law abiding, tax paying workers and their families, whether their children were born here or not. (Estimated cost: $300 billion over 40 years.) Which brings us to item (2): the only way that he could deport children of immigrants who were born here—which he justifies by saying that, after all, he just wants to   keep families together—is to trash the 14th amendment that guarantees these citizen “Dreamers” all their constitutional rights. (estimated cost to deport the 5 million Dreamers alone: $50 billion.)  And to keep all them thar “illegals” out, he intends to build an impenetrable wall and make the Mexican government pay for it. (Herman Cain inspired alligator infested moats subject to further negotiation. But the smart money is on the author of The Art of the Deal to at least get them gators at a hefty discount if the Mexican government decides to dig in its heels and grows a bigger pair of cojones.)

None of these fantasies have even the slightest chance of becoming real without a major media blitz. But with Trumpenstein back behind the protective walls of the Fux News castle, the effort has begun. Steve Douchebag, cohost of Fox and Friends, judges Trump’s immigration plan as: “A dream list for many who have wanted immigration reform for a long time.

And Andrea Kostintina Tantaros, cohost of Fux’s The Outnumbered, defending Trump’s assault on the Fourteenth Amendment, opined: It wasn’t intended so that a bunch of Latinos could flood over the border.”

With the rupture in the wingnut Force repaired, the rest of the universe will have to content itself to sitting ‘round the campfire, roasting Frankenweenies, waiting to watch the next episode of Republicans Eating Their Own. A fitting epilogue would have Trumpenstein further his rebellion by quitting the GOP and running as an independent.    

Seriously, America? This??

 Posted by on August 14, 2015 at 1:30 PM
Aug 142015

Trump Oval OfficeThe Trump Oval Office, live phone interview with Blahblahblah and Blah.
If you have a vomit bag handy, go ahead and click to enlarge.

(Before we get started.  Don’t use the word “surge” around me.  Especially in the context of a Trump poll.  I will lash out.  You’ve been warned.)

So it may be too soon to start showing America just what a Trump “presidency” will look like.   After all, it was many of those same sorry fuckers who elected Ronald Reagan, remember?   And then they made it possible for a few jackasses on the Supreme Court to give George W. Bush the right to fuck America up for decades.  Then after a slight respite from the destruction and the near miraculous recovery from the impending apocalypse, thanks to Barack Obama, we find ourselves at the mercy of a complete and utter moron.  Here is what I mean:

FOX: Mr. President, your first 90 days poll show that have not endeared yourself to an increasingly regretful, and on the liberal side, hysterical, public. Liberals have severely criticized you for what they call the “grotesque sacrilege” of your spectacular makeover of The oval office;  what would you say to these silly critics, and will you consider changing anything?

TRUMP:  with all due respect, my critics are a bunch of losers.  They’re a bunch of whiney little dogs, and they make me sick.  Look. We have a lot of fun here at the Trump White House, in my tremendously beautiful, this very very beautiful Oval Office.  And to those little dogs— who are disgusting— and who are still licking their wounds from my tremendous victory taking the White House back from them,  to these little dogs I say, I will always do what I do— and frankly, you know, if anybody don’t like it, they’re losers and they should be fired.

FOX: Mr. President, we totally agree;   but they feel they have some “constitutional” right to complain, because of the controversy surrounding the Supreme Court’s decision which handed you the election with a near 700 vote margin of victory.

TRUMP:  You know, I’m not going to get into that, you can argue all day with losers, and at the end of the day, they’re still losers!

FOX:  I know sir, it’s incredible.

TRUMP:  So I’m going about the business of, you know,  making aMErica Great Again, making tremendous deals, I’m threatening Iran, I’m threatening Iraq, I’m threatening ISIS, I’m very very busy already, threatening these loser nations who are, in some cases, are sitting on OUR Oil, and I’m going to make them deals very soon which they can’t refuse.

FOX:  Mr. President that sounds awesome, and we, as always, thank you so very much for taking your very important time to talk to the American people through the fair and balanced orifice of Fox and Friends, the one and only official White House newsfeed of the American people.

TRUMP:  Terrific, you know you guys have been very tremendous the past few months, convincing the American people, who I have to admit,  you know, are not the smartest people, you know a lot of them didn’t vote for me, and I’m going to overlook that, for now.

FOX:  Thank you Mr. President, and looking forward to seeing you next month.

TRUMP:  Terrific, my aides Megan and Megin will show you out.  Now, can we get the lighting guys back in here again, this still isn’t meeting my expectations, this artwork is not meeting the Trump lighting— Will someone answer that Goddamned phone?


 Posted by on August 11, 2015 at 3:37 PM
Aug 112015

elephant alligatorI’ve got you now, my pretty. . .

ASTONISHING, REALLY, that the majority of the professional talking heads preferred to take more than a month to realize that when Donald Trump slithered into the Republican China Shop, his fat ass was inevitably going to trash the place.  And now that he’s really starting to sink his teeth into their vulnerable little snouty-thing— Fox Nose— the other “Republican” candidates are getting some overspray of his ‘churck* on their business drag, and they don’t like it one bit.

But nobody really gives a shit about them.  It’s about the stupid people— the people that keep telling the pollsters that every time tRump oozes another gallon of pus on the political dialogue of their “greeet [sic] nation,” the more they want to lick his, “whatever.”  People too stupid to hear the truth when a billionaire buffoon tells them straight out that he buys and sells politicians like dogs, deserve what they git.

Therefore, my gentle people, reserve your real astonishment for these, the hapless base of the Republican electorate, currently coupling with the faux poutrage of their new shiny!shiny!, and blindly oblivious to the fact that their favorite bobble-head bloviator will be coming back to their bed:

If and when they do wake to the fact they’ve had their favorite horse’s ass handed to them, along with their [hopefully permanent] renewal as the Party Out Of Power,  (heh: POOP)  the ever-dwindling minority party of fearfully ignorant white men and women will need  to be rounded up and sent to the FEMA camps   a lot of Obamacare   . . .a lot more guns.

WhiteTrashYes, you gotta pritty mouth.

* ‘Churck:   a contraction of “jerk” and “‘chuck,” a shortening of “upchuck.” Yep: “jerk vomit.”  


 Posted by on August 5, 2015 at 4:15 PM
Aug 052015

Debate Also-Rans Go Down With Happy Rants

KidsTable2016The sound check at the Losers Kid’s table got rowdy; a lot of bird flipping, and considerable abuse of little Ricky Santorum.  From right (left) front to far right: Ricky Perry;  That guy nobody has ever even heard of;  Ricky Santorum;  Piyush Jindal;  Lindsey “Olin” Graham;  Carly Fiorina; and a George Pawtucki, or somethin’.

Some “big names” are out of the first Fox News Debate debacle, having been relegated to the “Happy Hour” debate scheduled to air before the main event.  And although a spokesman for the man with literally the biggest name, Piyush Subhas Chandra Amrit Hinssein Jindal, had no comment, several other candidates happy-railed against being relegated to the Also-Rans table by Fox News’ top croissant ingestor, Roger Ailes.

As Mitt Romney once sang, the dogs have been let out!  Here they are, and they’re howlin’ happy:

CARLY FIORINA  “A vast majority of Republican voters, never mind Americans, [gotta love that distinction] still don’t know who I am,” said businesswoman Carly Fiorina.  “You have a long way to go here. It’s a long race. We’re all going to need a stiff upper lip, and more than one stiff drink.  I’m looking forward to the ‘happy hour’ debate, because you get two drinks just to start.”

JIM GILMORE  “Arggle bargle!  Arggle bargle!  Scotch rocks!  Arggle bargle!  Arggle bargle!” [WTF]

LINDSEY GRAHAM  “You’ve got the Donald Trump debate.  Everybody’s gonna be, ‘How will he perform?  What will he say?’  Well, when I’m in the first debate, which is the ‘happy hour debate’ at five o’clock, start drinking.  By nine o’clock Donald may make sense to you— if you drink enough.”  [South Carolina senator Graham (“Call me Olin”) is credited with the term “happy hour debate.”  He also criticized the Republican front-runner Trump, calling him a Jackass— which induced the flat-footed multi-billionaire to reveal Graham’s cellphone number.]

PIYUSH JINDAL  [No comment.  But he is staying at a Holiday Inn Express.]

RICK PERRY  Is practicing his presidentialness-ness by speaking through an “adviser”:  “The governor is going to have a very thoughtful, well rehearsed conversation about the country, guns, and, and a third thing,  you know, that he thinks ought to be done for the opportunity for this country.” [Yeah that was my thought too; just as articulate as the guv.]

GEORGE PATAKI  [I’m sorry— who?]

RICK SANTORUM  “National polls mean nothing.  Unfortunately, Fox News and the RNC have gotten into a, sort of, “man and dog” situation to determine the legitimacy of candidacy.  And they have the ability to influence who is in the top ten by the amount of coverage they get, and the amount of advertising dollars.”  [No-he-diddent! He said “man and dog.”]

Okay.  Back to what passes for the real world.  Head propagandist at Fox Roger Ailes is credited with the “Orchestra Pit Theory“— referencing sensationalist political coverage in the news media:

“If you have two guys on a stage and one guy says, ‘I have a solution to the Middle East problem,’ and the other guy falls in the orchestra pit, who do you think is going to be on the evening news?” —Ailes

So maybe Roger is secretly doing the second string batch of buffoons a favor;  maybe by pushing them off the main stage and into the mosh pit he’s actually giving them the first shot at showing the electorate what a real clown car debate looks like. . .

Uh, Naww.

They’re both gonna be a debacle.