A Few Moments About Our Oldest Living Ancestor.

The human race has no surviving ancestor between the frog, and the Eskimo.

Okay because I’m generally a thoughtful guy, Ima give you a “squeamish” warning about this video;
but yeah, just frog stuff.

THE FROG is the only species ancestor of the early dawn races of mankind now living on the face of the earth.  And there’s this. “Had the ancestral frog of all humanity jumped two inches less on a certain occasion, the whole course of evolution would have been markedly changed.”*

After watching that vid you’re probably wondering if that would have been a bad thing, huh.

Paper 62, Section 3, paragraph 9 of The Urantia Book: 

You can hardly realize by what narrow margins your prehuman ancestors missed extinction from time to time. Had the ancestral frog of all humanity jumped two inches less on a certain occasion, the whole course of evolution would have been markedly changed. The immediate lemurlike mother of the dawn-mammal species escaped death no less than five times by mere hairbreadth margins before she gave birth to the father of the new and higher mammalian order.

But the closest call of all was when lightning struck the tree in which the prospective mother of the Primates twins was sleeping. Both of these mid-mammal parents were severely shocked and badly burned; three of their seven children were killed by this bolt from the skies. These evolving animals were almost superstitious. This couple whose treetop home had been struck were really the leaders of the more progressive group of the mid-mammal species; and following their example, more than half the tribe, embracing the more intelligent families, moved about two miles away from this locality and began the construction of new treetop abodes and new ground shelters—their transient retreats in time of sudden danger.

 

Open The Pod Bay Doors Please Hal…


…I want to step out for the weekend.

“About the time of the attainment of the maximum of mass, the gravity control of the gaseous content commenced to weaken, and there ensued the stage of gas escapement, the gas streaming forth as two gigantic and distinct arms, which took origin on opposite sides of the mother mass. The rapid revolutions of this enormous central core soon imparted a spiral appearance to these two projecting gas streams. The cooling and subsequent condensation of portions of these protruding arms eventually produced their knotted appearance. These denser portions were vast systems and subsystems of physical matter whirling through space in the midst of the gaseous cloud of the nebula while being held securely within the gravity grasp of the mother wheel.”
The Urantia Book

PRACTICALLY ALL OF THE STARRY REALMS visible to the naked eye on Urantia belong to the seventh section of the grand universe, the superuniverse of Orvonton.  The vast Milky Way starry system represents the central nucleus of Orvonton, being largely beyond the borders of your local universe. This great aggregation of suns, dark islands of space, double stars, globular clusters, star clouds, spiral and other nebulae, together with myriads of individual planets, forms a watch-like, elongated-circular grouping of about one seventh of the inhabited evolutionary universes.

From the astronomical position of Urantia, as you look through the cross section of near-by systems to the great Milky Way, you observe that the spheres of Orvonton are traveling in a vast elongated plane, the breadth being far greater than the thickness and the length far greater than the breadth.  Observation of the so-called Milky Way discloses the comparative increase in Orvonton stellar density when the heavens are viewed in one direction, while on either side the density diminishes; the number of stars and other spheres decreases away from the chief plane of our material superuniverse.  When the angle of observation is propitious, gazing through the main body of this realm of maximum density, you are looking toward the residential universe and the center of all things.

Of the ten major divisions of Orvonton, eight have been roughly identified by Urantian astronomers.  The other two are difficult of separate recognition because you are obliged to view these phenomena from the inside.  If you could look upon the superuniverse of Orvonton from a position far-distant in space, you would immediately recognize the ten major sectors of the seventh galaxy.

The rotational center of your minor sector is situated far away in the enormous and dense star cloud of Sagittarius, around which your local universe and its associated creations all move, and from opposite sides of the vast Sagittarius subgalactic system you may observe two great streams of star clouds emerging in stupendous stellar coils.*

The nucleus of the physical system to which your sun and its associated planets belong is the center of the onetime Andronover nebula. This former spiral nebula was slightly distorted by the gravity disruptions associated with the events which were attendant upon the birth of your solar system, and which were occasioned by the near approach of a large neighboring nebula. This near collision changed Andronover into a somewhat globular aggregation but did not wholly destroy the two-way procession of the suns and their associated physical groups. Your solar system now occupies a fairly central position in one of the arms of this distorted spiral, situated about halfway from the center out towards the edge of the star stream.

The Sagittarius sector and all other sectors and divisions of Orvonton are in rotation around Uversa, and some of the confusion of Urantian star observers arises out of the illusions and relative distortions produced by the following multiple revolutionary movements:

1. The revolution of Urantia around its sun.
2. The circuit of your solar system about the nucleus of the former Andronover nebula.
3 The rotation of the Andronover stellar family and the associated clusters about the composite rotation-gravity center of the star cloud of Nebadon.
4 The swing of the local star cloud of Nebadon and its associated creations around the Sagittarius center of their minor sector.
5. The rotation of the one hundred minor sectors, including Sagittarius, about their major sector.
6. The whirl of the ten major sectors, the so-called star drifts, about the Uversa headquarters of Orvonton.
7. The movement of Orvonton and six associated superuniverses around
Paradise and Havona, the counterclockwise processional of the superuniverse
space level.

These multiple motions are of several orders: The space paths of your planet and your solar system are genetic, inherent in origin. The absolute counterclockwise motion of Orvonton is also genetic, inherent in the architectural plans of the master universe. But the intervening motions are of composite origin, being derived in part from the constitutive segmentation of matter-energy into the superuniverses and in part produced by the intelligent and purposeful action of the Paradise force organizers.

The local universes are in closer proximity as they approach Havona; the circuits are greater in number, and there is increased superimposition, layer upon layer. But farther out from the eternal center there are fewer and fewer systems, layers, circuits, and universes.

Paradise force organizers are nebulae originators; they are able to initiate about their space presence the tremendous cyclones of force which, when once started, can never be stopped or limited until the all-pervading forces are mobilized for the eventual appearance of the ultimatonic units of universe matter. Thus are brought into being the spiral and other nebulae, the mother wheels of the direct-origin suns and their varied systems. In outer space there may be seen ten different forms of nebulae, phases of primary universe evolution, and these vast energy wheels had the same origin as did those in the seven superuniverses.

Not all spiral nebulae are engaged in sun making. Some have retained control of many of their segregated stellar offspring, and their spiral appearance is occasioned by the fact that their suns pass out of the nebular arm in close formation but return by diverse routes, thus making it easy to observe them at one point but more difficult to see them when widely scattered on their different returning routes farther out and away from the arm of the nebula. There are not many sun-forming nebulae active in Orvonton at the present time, though Andromeda, which is outside the inhabited superuniverse, is very active. This far-distant nebula is visible to the naked eye, and when you view it, pause to consider that the light you behold left those distant suns almost one million years ago. The Milky Way galaxy is composed of vast numbers of former spiral and other nebulae, and many still retain their original configuration. But as the result of internal catastrophes and external attraction, many have suffered such distortion and rearrangement as to cause these enormous aggregations to appear as gigantic luminous masses of blazing suns, like the Magellanic Cloud. The globular type of star clusters predominates near the outer margins of Orvonton.

The vast star clouds of Orvonton should be regarded as individual aggregations of matter comparable to the separate nebulae observable in the space regions external to the Milky Way galaxy. Many of the so-called star clouds of space, however, consist of gaseous material only. The energy potential of these stellar gas clouds is unbelievably enormous, and some of it is taken up by near-by suns and redispatched in space as solar emanations.

500,000,000,000 years ago the first Andronover sun was born. This blazing streak broke away from the mother gravity grasp and tore out into space on an independent adventure in the cosmos of creation. Its orbit was determined by its path of escape. Such young suns quickly become spherical and start out on their long and eventful careers as the stars of space. Excepting terminal nebular nucleuses, the vast majority of Orvonton suns have had an analogous birth. These escaping suns pass through varied periods of evolution and subsequent universe service.

The Urantia Book

Seriously;  you’ve got to read it to believe it.  Read it while you can.

About the time of the attainment of the maximum of mass, the gravity control of the gaseous content commenced to weaken, and there ensued the stage of gas escapement, the gas streaming forth as two gigantic and distinct arms, which took origin on opposite sides of the mother mass. The rapid revolutions of this enormous central core soon imparted a spiral appearance to these two projecting gas streams. The cooling and subsequent condensation of portions of these protruding arms eventually produced their knotted appearance. These denser portions were vast systems and subsystems of physical matter whirling through space in the midst of the gaseous cloud of the nebula while being held securel within the gravity grasp of the mother wheel.  — The Urantia Book

WALKING ACCORDION INTERVAL


“Three!  Twelve!  Shit!”

Yes indeed, we’re taking an interval while we move to another server.
During the interval, we expect you to carry on as if nothing is fucked here, man, and you know, like, keep expressing your opinion as if it was just as real and tangible as any scientific fact is assumed to be.

And with that we leave you to your own devices,* and their assorted and sundry software peccadilloes.

 

*I was forced to learn to play the accordion as a child when my parents fell under the sway of Myron Floren‘s  squeezebox machine, during Lawrence Welk’s heyday.  

 

Welcome To The United States

Zappa Immigrant Welcome To The United StatesDo you have a communicable disease?  Physical or mental disorder? Are you a drug abuser or addict?  Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude, or a violation related to a controlled substance, or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?  Have you ever been a controlled substance trafficker? Are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?  Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage? Or terrorist activities? Or genocide?  Or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Rainer Römer: Ladies and gentlemen, here he goes, Peter Rundel, he seems to be disgusted. Whatever. Ridero ridera! Heute fängt die Fastnacht aa’ Ha ha ha! LAUGH NOW! (HA HA HA HA HA!) Be quiet! Von seiner Werkbank zu uns heute Abend hergekommen ist unser Hermann Kretzschmar wolle mer’n reinlasse? Laugh now! (HA HA HA HA HA!)

Welcome to the United States!

This form must be completed by every nonimmigrant visitor not in possession of a visitor’s visa.

Type or print legibly in pen in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. USE ENGLISH.

Item 7—If you are entering the United States by land, enter LAND in this space. (LAND!) If you are entering the United States by ship, enter, unh-unh, SEA in this space.

Do any of the following apply to you? (Answer Yes or No)

(No! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!)

A. Do you have a communicable disease; (COUGH NOW! Coughs . . . ) physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict?

Tell me, Bill, Yes or No. (No) Louder. (No!)

B. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes! Yes, sir! Yes! No! No! No!)

Or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes or No) Thank you!

C. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes)

Thank you very much! And welcome to the United States!

 

Original photograph from Chaplin’s 1917 film, The Immigrant:

Charlie The Immigrant

 

 

STILL ABSOLUTELY FREE

 A LOT OF PEOPLE don’t bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, “Ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?” But the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS, WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A NEW RAPPORT.  You and your new little green & yellow buddies . . .  grooving together!  OH NO!  Maintaining your coolness together!  Worshiping together in the church of your choice!  ONLY IN AMERICA. Woh-oh-oh-ah-agh-h . . .

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=258IAiOtnuw[/youtube]

BROWN SHOES DON’T MAKE IT

Just in time for Zappadan: The new Grafton POOT;  the A-100 Hand Rotopluker;  and the limited edition Toast Master 4000.

The Grafton is one of our most popular shoes. A timeless brogue, sensible and versatile, at home around the pool, City Hall, or the White House lawn.  We’ve now added the Grafton POOT”— hand embossed in Pumpkin Gold with Spring Prune surround, on Cigar Nevada Calf above Desenex soles; a great addition. . .  $1695

Shown with the modern classic A-100 Hand Rotopluker™, in stunning Wazzoo Bronze, fully charged with the exclusive Infinity Cell capable of producing upwards of a 180 thousand separate lethal discharges. . .  $70,000

Accompanied by the limited edition Zappa Toast Master™ 4000, Neon Moon stainless steel enclosure with four industrial ultra-slots, and a 120 watt Peavey Power Dial with individual slot amplifier controls— guaranteeing toast that will respond to you. . .  $1495


BROWN SHOES DON’T MAKE IT
Munich, 1979-03-31  Soundboard recording.

Frank Zappa — lead guitar, lead vocals
Ike Willis — rhythm guitar, vocals
Denny Walley — guitar, slide guitar, vocals
Warren Cuccurullo — guitar
Tommy Mars — keyboards, vocals
Peter Wolf — keyboards
Ed Mann — percussion
Arthur Barrow — bass
Vinnie Colaiuta — drums

We’re only in it for the money.
—Frank Zappa

MITT ME YET?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17bbM2yznI0[/youtube]

Humanity marches on;
you can fight it—
or you can fight for it.
Change will come with or without you.