• • • SCATOLOGY WEEK • • • A workman draining blood out of turkeys looks on in disbelief as an unidentified man tumbles down the turkey wafer conveyor belt while Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin babbles about how brutal the “time consumption” was for her on the campaign “trell.” WTF does she think it would be like if she had …
Fact #1. I don’t belong here— I’m innocent. I’m only sort of kidding. Our planet Urantia is, in a peculiar sense, a prison/playpen for self-conscious monkey men. Granted, it’s a large, spectacularly beautiful and complex prison, and it would seem, a prison very poorly run, for the most part, by the most unqualified inmates; but there’s way more to …
From the film Ghostbusters: Fig Newton Gingrich in the role of Gozer The Traveler * Here we go again. Back in August, we posted Trumpenstein, in which we laid the creation of the Trump Phenomenon squarely at the feet of Fux News: His political persona is as much a creation of the political arm of the GOP, Fux News, as it is …
While never really a Letterman junkie, “Late-Night” for me was usually finishing a strip while he was on, so I became a de facto regular viewer. Oh, yeah, and Dave was brilliant. Even so, the strip above was my only homage to the many hours spent enjoying Dave’s top ten things, that usually made someone squirm. People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. …
I feel like WE are Groot, today. I don’t feel like spelling it out more than that. I may get a double-take, or an “Excuse me??” stare, but that’s become a lot more frequent a response to me this decade, anyway.
I need a photo opportunity, I need a shot at redemption. . .
Yeah just click play while we talk.
The Indonesian flight is still missing and the Christie Bridge Fiasco is still expanding faster than his third chin. But it’s Friday, the weekend is here, we be kickin’ back. So I went out to the guvmint box and got the mail. Mixed in with the usual metric ton of forest waste paper was a slick, smelly NORDSTROM NERDSTROM Men’s Shop catalog magazine. Inside were photos of skinny, underdeveloped man-children, wearing clothing that appeared uncomfortably tight, especially everywhere you normally want your clothing to be the most comfortable.
Beh Cause, FASH UN.
Don’t want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard. . .
They instantly reminded me of Pee-wee Herman; then I couldn’t see them any other way.
Get these mutts away from me; I don’t find this stuff amusing anymore. . .
So I did the only snarkological thing I could do: put Pee-wee in the clothes. But I did not mess with the clothing itself; those skinny fucking legs were there already.
“Boss”?? Ha. I totally get it now.
But somebody at Nerdstrum’s knew that many people getting their 67 page junka-log would not understand what was up with the death-camp thin fash-un-something, so they included a helpful “Anatomy of a Modern Suit” chart, that points out the what-the-fuckness to us, the great t-shirt/sweatsuit/moomoo wearing masses.
. . .fashion still unduly dominates Urantia. —The Urantia Papers
*Stereotypical nerds are commonly seen as intelligent but socially and physically awkward. They are typically perceived as either lacking confidence or being indifferent or oblivious to the negative perceptions held of them by others, with the result that they become frequent objects of scorn, snark, ridicule, bullying, and social isolation. Stereotypical “nerd” appearance includes very large glasses, braces, severe acne and high-water pants lifted up. In the media, many nerds are portrayed as being physically unfit, either overweight, or very thin.