For my money, or the lack thereof, no Zappa character says Zappa to me like “The Central Scrutinizer,” the narrator on Joe’s Garage (November, 1979). It’s Zappa in snarky hyperbolic perfection, introducing himself as the enforcer of laws that haven’t been passed yet, and the messenger of the dangers of that horrible force called MUSIC. . .
• • • SCATOLOGY WEEK • • • A workman draining blood out of turkeys looks on in disbelief as an unidentified man tumbles down the turkey wafer conveyor belt while Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin babbles about how brutal the “time consumption” was for her on the campaign “trell.” WTF does she think it would be like if she had …
You may own guns and you may even own tanks; but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in washington, d.c.
D.c. d.c. d.c. d.c. d.c.
It can’t happen here
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
It can’t happen here
It can’t happen here
Everybody’s safe and it can’t happen here
No freaks for us
It can’t happen here
STUMPDIGIT, SOUTH CAROLINA — In 1983, Fred Trump told an interviewer that his son Donald “was a pretty rough fellow when he was small.” But as a board member of Kew-Forest School, daddy Trump couldn’t allow Donald’s behavioral problems to go um, “unpunished”; he fixed that behavior problem by sending little Donnie off to a correctional facility military school, the New York Military …
So dude— how’re those New Year’s Resolutions working out for you. . . Still weigh the same? (Me too.) Still self-medicating too much? (Yeah.) Still not exercising (bowling is not exercise) every day? (Me either.) Maybe you should just read a great book instead. A real l l l l ly great book.
