National INQUISITOR: 500 CRIMES & 5,000 LIES

Nature abhors a vacuum, so there’s a new shit rag in town, the National INQUISITOR©.

SATAN SPOTTED ON CAPITAL HILL AGAIN

In a rare moment of demonic candor, characteristically angry and frustrated Christian icon, Satan, lashed out at a Fox news crew on Capital Hill today…

On the Trell With Sarah Palin

•  •  •  SCATOLOGY WEEK  •  •  • A workman draining blood out of turkeys looks on in disbelief as an unidentified man tumbles down the turkey wafer conveyor belt while Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin babbles about how brutal the “time consumption” was for her on the campaign “trell.” WTF does she think it would be like if she had …

The GOP Nothing Burger. . .

In the movie Pulp Fiction, Samuel L. Jackson takes a bite out of Brett’s tasty Big Kahuna burger, and washes it down with Brett’s tasty beverage. It’s just a little scary pretext for the brutal destruction that is moments away.

Thank God it’s Friday.

Unless, of course, you don’t believe in God. In that case, thank the total chance existence of a great sequencer of an apparently infinite number of sequential moments of reality that, lucky for us, somehow attaches to— and brings forth out of nothing?— the individual consciousness of billions of sentient beings on this planet, and no doubt many trillions more …

A Friday Message From Your Emperor

Hello American people, as I begin my very important first trip to another great hemisphere, I want to tell you that I will be thinking and working for you while I’m busy doing other things, believe me.

The Buffooning Of America #45

Another of Trump’s embarrassing public displays of erectile overcompensation; (don’t even ask about Pence).