Kirlian image provides indisputable proof of President Obama’s use of the teleprompter to subjugate dickish reporters.

WASHINGTON — President Obama’s second press conference in as many months have left antagonistic reporters who are “not in love with him” with a new-found respect for, no— not him, or his ability to answer questions with deft skill— but for his awesome terrorist teleprompter.

Bob Cesca.

In politics and the media, teleprompters are about as commonplace as microphones and people named “O’Donnell.” Some use a teleprompter, some use paper, some use cue cards, some use both. Really, what difference does it make whether prepared remarks are read from paper or Perspex? Either way, we’re talking about prepared text printed on a readable medium. The teleprompter isn’t some space-age interdimensional portal that automatically injects your audience with nitrous oxide and mild doses of heroin, drugging them into an involuntary state of euphoric torpor. It simply allows the reader to deliver a speech without looking down at the podium. That’s all.

Lefty liberal blogger Bob Cesca’s comments above are just what you might expect from any supposedly intelligent human being who remains ignorant of the real reasons Barack Obama always uses the teleprompter at news conferences, public speeches, even casual lunch conversation. But now there’s absolute proof that not only does Obama use the teleprompter to sound more intelligent than he actually is, but also to inflict the semblance of mind-numbing and eye bruising truthiness upon any reporters who act like dicks.

Take the case of dickish CNN reporter Ed Henry. Known as “Mister Ed” to his peers, Henry’s questioning of the president pressed the reporter’s notion that president Obama had taken too much time in making his outrage at the AIG bonuses public.  When Henry clumsily reiterated his question ( he wasn’t using a teleprompter), the president explained he liked  to know what he was talking about before he spoke publicly— and at that moment— beams shot from Obama’s eyes through his teleprompter, seriously bruising Mr. Ed’s eyes:

CNN’s “Mr. Ed” Henry shows the horrible bruising that resulted from his brief but dickish questioning of President Obama, who stared ominously at Mr. Ed through the teleprompter while supposedly answering the question spontaneously, his vision being amplified in some mysterious Muslimish Marxist way that inflicted severe bruising on the impertinent reporter.

Once the Glen Becks of the fringe get a hold of this information you can bet the teleprompter issue will finally get the attention the Republicans think it deserves.  Until then, remember not to look the president in the eye, even when he’s on television.

Russian Prime Minister Vladamir Putin Implicates McSame

Two week ago, in my post titled Was Georgia’s Aggression An August Surprise? , I noted speculation from the likes of Randi Rhodes, Greg Sargent at TPM and Daily Kos’s Hunter that Georgia’s aggression against South Ossetia seemed to bear a “Made in the USA” label, designed to benefit Cold Warrior John McSame’s presidential ambitions.

Now comes this.

Putin accuses U.S. of orchestrating Georgian war

8/28/08

SOCHI, Russia (CNN) – Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has accused the United States of orchestrating the conflict in Georgia to benefit one of its presidential election candidates.

In an exclusive interview with CNN’s Matthew Chance in the Black Sea city of Sochi Thursday, Putin said the U.S. had encouraged Georgia to attack the autonomous region of South Ossetia.

Putin told CNN his defense officials had told him it was done to benefit a presidential candidate — Republican John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama are competing to succeed George W. Bush — although he presented no evidence to back it up.

“U.S. citizens were indeed in the area in conflict,” Putin said. “They were acting in implementing those orders doing as they were ordered, and the only one who can give such orders is their leader.” [...]

Adding fuel to the fire was a visit by one of Darth Cheney’s top national security aids to Georgia shortly before the war began, as reported in the LA Times.

Why was Cheney’s guy in Georgia before the war?

What was a top national security aide to Vice President Dick Cheney doing in Georgia shortly before Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili’s troops engaged in what became a disastrous fight with South Ossetian rebels — and then Russian troops?
[snip]

Dana Milbank, in drag

BREAKING: After WAPO reporter Dana Milbank, formerly a Keith Olbermann Countdown regular, refused to explain why he had taken Barak Obama’s “symbol” comments out of context (which set off a firestorm of controversy last week), Olbermann announced today that, WRT his show, Dana is history.

(Minutes later, Milbank shows up on CNN’s Campbell Brown’s show, Olbermann’s competitor.)

Kudos to Keith for standing up for news reporting integrity.

A Mind’s Eye View of Star Trek’s The Game

In Star Trek: The Next Generation’s The Game (Episode 106, first aired 10/28/91), the crew of the Enterprise becomes totally addicted to a virtual reality game brought aboard the ship from an alien world.

A slick pair of VR specs sends visual imagery to brain, energizing the brain’s serotonin and dopamine receptor sites. The more one plays, the more one is chemically rewarded, rendering the higher cortical (reasoning) areas of the brain moot. This puts the ship and, by extension, the entire Federation at grave risk.

I was reminded of The Game as I read today’s New York Times editorial titled There He Goes Again. It’s a rather mild take-down of John McSame’s ridiculous economic proposals, the core of which is keeping in place Bush’s tax cuts for the billionaires amongst us. Money quote:

Mr. McCain and his advisers must know that his numbers do not add up. But adding up is not their point. Their point is to perpetuate the fantasy that Americans can have ever bigger tax cuts and a balanced federal budget. They cannot. The unbalanced budgets of the Reagan years and two Bush presidencies are proof.

Perpetuating fantasies is the very function of the Rethuglican propaganda machine. Believing that Iraq is a success, that we aren’t already in a recession, that we can drill our way out of rapidly increasing gas and energy prices in time to ward off an even more severe economic downturn, that attacking Iran will enhance our national security, that tax cuts for the hyper-rich will trickle down their legs to benefit the rest of us are just a few of their most prominent delusions.

Neurocognitive evidence for addictive delusional behavior is provided in Dr. Drew Westen’s book The Political Brain: The Role of Emotions in Deciding the Fate of the Nation. Westen reports an experiment in which political partisans are presented cognitively dissonant information about their favorite politician. Functional MRIs reveal which parts of the brain are involved in processing that information, and the extent to which it will go to restore mental harmony. Even the most clearly bogus rationalizations are no match for the brain’s electrochemical reward circuitry, the same used by drug addicts when getting their fix. Not only does the subject again feel good about their candidate, but they end up feeling better. (Westen wryly notes that the term political junkie is thus more than just a metaphor.)

Message to McSame and their MSM enabled Rethuglican propaganda machine:

Take those rose colored VR glasses and shove ‘em where the sun don’t shine.

UPDATE: A McSame VP candidate, South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford, experienced a moment of cognitive flatulence Sunday morning when asked by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer to identify any economic policy differences between McSame and Bush.

Kinda hard to watch, but Huffpo has the vid.

NEW ORLEANS— John McCain stammered his way through one of his more memorable speeches ever Tuesday night, but unfortunately it was memorable for the number of speaking miscues off the teleprompter, not the content. It was memorable for the forced, creepy smiles at the end of sentences that didn’t warrant them. Even his repetitious blinking was unnerving. And with more than twenty word fumbles through the course of this painfully long Geritol info-mercial, it was particularly telling that CNN felt it necessary to put a “HAPPENING NOW” tag directly over McCain’s right lung.

I knew the evening was going to go badly when the Phoney from Arizoney began by adding an extra syllable to “New Or-le-ans.” Bush’s constant mangling of “nu-cu-lar” sprang instantly to mind, and thus a speech designed to separate the two men joined at the fragile hip of John McCain was doomed to failure.

Then this mis-speak, only two and a half minutes in: “I believe that still; but we must rise the occasion as we always have.” Well, he didn’t “rise the occasion.” He sank, and he continued to sink until CNN cut away. But all was not lost. My favorite McBushism from the speech was this line: “The right change will stop impeding Americans from doing what they have always done, overcome every obstacle to our progress, turn challenges and opportunity into opportunities. . .”

Over-powered by what the press called the “Lime Green Monster,” the background from hell gave McCain a pallor only a cadaver could love. But with timing that could only have been arranged through divine providence, McCain dropped this turd-bomb bomb bomb right before one of the most historic speeches ever to be delivered in America, Barack Obama’s announcement to the world that a black and white man had turned an opportunity into an opportunity to run for president of the United States.

A venue tip to McCain’s advance people: Never— ever— choose a venue where the acoustics are such that one big-mouth supporter can rise teh occasion by drowning out the rest of the audience. Very creepy. And speaking of loudest. McCain drew his loudest applause when he read without error, “They might think me an imperfect servant of our country, which I surely am; but I am her servant, first, last, and always.” Great.

But we don’t need another “servant” in the white house. We need a leader.

Anybody surprised that Fixed News is saying Obama is already over the top, before the polls close, while CNN and MSNBC are saying, in effect- not so fast?

Anything to counter the obvious Dem strategy to have their Hollywood moment, declaring that either Nebraska or South Dakota have put Obama over the top rather than the INSIDERS at the DNC, which is sure to be the Fixed News narrative going forward.

UPDATED BELOW
Slate has put up a new page that tracks Billary’s odds of winning ‘08 the nomination, beginning with a generous estimate of 12%. (Someone from within their own campaign estimated it at only 10% last week.)

One of the current theories as to why Billary is intent on destroying Obama’s rep is that if it doesn’t win them the ‘08 nomination, Obama will be so sullied in the process that St. John McCain will win. This would in turn keep the door open for them in 2012.

There’s at least one big problem with that theory. She’ll be 65, and will by then have absorbed so much botox that she’ll have to wear one of those hazardous waste signs around her neck. And if she were to lose, her head would explode and become the equivalent of a human dirty bomb.

Just can’t see it. (And don’t want to!)

UPDATE: (3/30/08 9:40 PST): What a difference six weeks can make.

In a new Gallup poll, Obama has surged ahead of Billary by 10 points, his biggest lead ever, after being down by 11 points in early Feb.

And yes, the poll was taken well after the Rev. Wright flap.

Seems that the average American Jo/e is tuning out the MSM punditocracy, who continue to make fools of themselves with their asinine analysis and predictions.

Speaking of which, one of the worst tv programs has to be CNN’s weekend show, “This Week in Politics.” Hosted by Tom Foreman, whose exaggerated gestures and vocal inflections are more appropriate to a daytime game show host talking down to an audience with an IQ of 91 (Bush’s reported level), it was full of juvenile boxing metaphors, highlighted by cheesy graphics showing Billary and Obama in boxing gloves duking it out in a ring.

Just what people a paycheck away from bankruptcy and foreclosure want to see.

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UPDATED (5/1908 2100 ): What can it possibly say about Hillary Clinton that she’s now relying on Carl Rove’s math for analysis to insist she’s the “strongest candidate.” Equating “Turdblossom” with— . . . This just in: On the infinitely small off-chance we might actually reach him, we had Richard “Dick” Milhouse Nixon paged at the San Clemente Clam Club, located in the vast WASP sector of deepest Hell; and wow! he picked up!!

After a bit of perfunctory chitchat about the scorching weather and pain thresholds, the Dick regaled us, amid agonizing screams, with his sage but singed analysis of Billary’s chances: “Well. Mrs. Clinton is making the, uh, kind of- principled last stand— that we’ve, uh, come to expect from— AAAAAAAAAAGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAEEEE!!! GAAAAA!!! GAAAA!!! . . . from those stubborn jackasses in the DemocraaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! AiiiEEEEEEYYAAAAGGGAAAoooAAAAhhhh-Ahhh-Ahh!!!. . .cratic party.”

Well, it went on like that for quite some time, but in essence, the Dick was adamant that Billary is by far the one better prepared to kick some ass, down some shots, lie on the record, ensure a Republican victory, and kill some (expletives deleted) gooks.” Shortly after that comment, some kind of meltdown occurred and we lost the old Dick. But it was very reassuring to know that, in this universe, you can count on reaping just what you sew. And when the Billary finally and forever lays down the race to recapture the white house, you can bet your worthless bottom dollar they’re still gonna get everything they’ve got coming to them. —M. Hart

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