McCain: Pallin’ Around With Terrarists?

 Posted by on June 4, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Jun 042013
 

Jon Stewart reviews another thrilling episode of the action-adventure  series, “McCain”

Obie Grump Kanobi, as Stewart calls our favorite galavanting action star and former POW, Senator John McCain (Warmonger-Az), has never seen an international conflict where US military forces shouldn’t just stay the fuck home.

As pointed out here about McCain in Tales From The Benghazi Crypt Keeper:

Just as he has never gotten over being tortured by the North Vietnamese, manifest in his ‘bomb the hell out of ‘em’ knee-jerk response to nearly every foreign policy crisis, he will never get over losing to The Black Man in The White House.

Early in President Obama’s first term, McCain beat the war drums on Iran. During the Arab Spring, he demanded that our default response be to arm every opposition group in sight, despite the fact that many of them are Islamic fundamentalists with Al Qaeda sympathies. The strategy of “leading from behind” that operated so effectively in overthrowing Libya’s Mohamar Qadaffi, costing not a single American life, makes McCain’s wrinkled and liver spotted skin crawl right off his malformed skeleton. (That skeletal malformation was the result of a crash landing he endured after being shot down over heavily populated Hanoi by the Vietnamese during one of his 23 bombing sorties.) This is a guy who really, really enjoys the smell of napalm in the morning.

The political point being that arming anyone and everyone who mouths the word “democracy” is not necessarily a trusted ally; that weapons provided to today’s “freedom fighters” won’t be used by anti-US forces tomorrow, a  point that Stewart drives home. (See, e.g. the Muhajadeen in Afghanistan, who we armed to fight the Soviets but who later morphed into today’s Al Qaeda and Taliban.)

In the clip above, one of the vaunted Syrian rebel commanders photographed with McCain during his secret trip to Syria (designed to undermine President Obama’s cautious foreign policy?) appears to be the same guy who kidnapped 11 Shiite religious pilgrims in Lebanon. That would, of course, make him a terrorist, assuming he uses the ransom money to buy weapons.

During the 2008 presidential election, McCain’s hand chosen VP candidate, Sarah Palin, accused Obama of “pallin’ around with terrorists.” This was an apparent reference to Obama’s acquaintance with former Weather Underground co-founder, Bill Ayers, who happened to be a professor at the University of Illinois at the same time Obama was teaching law there.

McCain seems to be as oblivious to irony as he is to critical judgment. A dangerous combination for someone who seems to have an open invitation from the Sunday morning talk show “public affairs” programmers, who regularly offer him a platform from which he can inflict his warmongering bias upon their considerable audience.  

To be fair, McCain seems to be somewhat saner on domestic matters. However, when his carefully self-cultivated image as a political Maverick is seriously challenged by the extreme right wing of the GOP, as it was on the issue of immigration when it could have determined his most recent re-election to the Senate,  he will default to doing whatever it takes to maintain his political survival.

For someone who has so much invested in the legend of his own mind, the image of him as the Crypt Keeper is, well, a keeper.

Mad To The Max: Paul Ryan, Beyond Blunderdome

 Posted by on March 19, 2013 at 2:45 PM
Mar 192013
 

MadR'AYN

The barn door has closed on yet another episode of CPAC’s Wingnut Woodstock, the annual conclave of conservaschism‘s most extreme proponents. (See our archives for previous entries.)

Among the 70+ speakers were the party’s last two failed GOP Veep candidates, Rep. Paul Ryan (R- Gault’s Gulch), who couldn’t be bothered to even mention his former running mate, Mitt Romney, who was also there;  and Sarah Palin (R-Alaskan Quitter), who couldn’t resist sucking up some sugar water poison from a Big Gulp and throwing some red meat to the Birthers while attacking Karl Rove:

“If these experts who keep losin’ elections and keep gettin’ rehired and gettin’ millions — if they feel that strong about who gets to run in this party, then they should buck-up or stay in the truck.”

Rand Paul, who won the presidential straw poll beating Marco Rubio, 25%-23%, also implicitly took a shot at Rove and the establishment wing of the party, calling it “stale and moss covered,” in need of a complete do-over.  Rubio took the opposite tack, saying that the party just needed better packaging, everything else is just fine… except maybe their attitude toward immigration, a word that curiously never passed his lips.  Ted Cruz responded politely to GOP’s “grey eminence” John McCain, after McCain called him a “whackobird” for supporting Paul’s 13 hour filibuster against extra-judicial targeted killings, ala drone strikes.

All told, over 70 speeches were given.  And while Donald Trump said nothing of substance, he will be remembered for making a further investment in self-parody, talking to a room full of empty chairs after tweeting enthusiastically about how the sponsors were expecting a standing room only crowd for the pleasure of his company.

Empty chairs TrumpSquint real hard and you might see Trump holding court for a handful of starstruck suckups

Noticeable for their absence were Past GOP luminaries New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Virgina Governor Bob McDonnell weren’t invited this year because they had committed the unforgivable sin of, you know, actual governance, an activity antithetical to the overriding mission of modern conservatism— the wholesale dismantling of the US government (except as it benefits the 1%).

Which brings us to the substance of Paul Ryan’s speech, his proposed 2014 budget confabulation. The zombie eyed granny starver once again tried to disguise his Ayn Randian flavored social Darwinism as deficit reduction, framing his argument as the only rational approach to a country teetering on the edge of the apocalypse:

Unless we change course, we will have a debt crisis.  Pressed for cash, the government will take the easy way out:  It will crank up the printing presses.  The final stage of this intergenerational theft will be the debasement of our currency.  Government will cheat us of our just rewards.  Our finances will collapse.  The economy will stall.  The safety net will unravel. And the most vulnerable will suffer.

But it’s not too late.  This budget provides an exit ramp from the current mess— and an entry ramp to a better future.  Unlike the President’s last budget, which never balanced, this budget achieves balance within ten years.

Washington Post and MSNBC economic policy wonk Ezra Klein comments:

These are tremendously important paragraphs. They’re emphasized a few pages later, in the first real section of the budget, which is entitled “The Debt Crisis Ahead.”  These paragraphs matter because they serve as Ryan’s justification for his budget.  They are why we need to throw 35 million people off health insurance.  They are why we need to cut deep into education and infrastructure and food stamps and housing assistance.  They are why this budget is an act of mercy rather than cruelty — because if this future is the only alternative, then this budget is painful but necessary medicine.

But it’s not.  Ryan’s nightmare scenario isn’t likely even in the absence of new policy.  A reasonable assumption of future debt is about 112 percent of GDP come 2037 — and that’s assuming the repeal of the sequester.  That’s too high for comfort, and there’s some evidence that debt at that level could harm the economy.  But there’s no evidence that it would create the kind of Mad Max-style scenario Ryan paints.

Ryan’s GOP budget takes a meat ax to the social safety net for the old, poor, and infirm, all the while sparing the military/medical/prison/financial industrial complex or any other corporate interest group from any sacrifice whatsoever. Ryan ignores deficit expanding tax expenditures that overwhelmingly favor the wealthy, which in 2009 cost the federal government a cool trillion; says nothing about eliminating tens of billions of dollars in direct taxpayer subsidies to hugely profitable industries like the oil companies and Big Ag, many of whom don’t even pay any income tax thanks to lobbyist provided loopholes; and lowers tax rates across the board, which again, overwhelmingly favors the rich. Continue reading »

Teh PIC: Philip Dick, O Brother, Where Art Thou?

 Posted by on February 8, 2013 at 12:11 PM
Feb 082013
 

xlarge_chinopenPack ‘em and stack ‘em: Maximizing shareholder equity in the Prison Industrial Complex

I spent nearly a decade working inside the criminal justice system,  as a paralegal in a law practice that did a lot of work with juvenile offenders. I saw up front and personal how easy it is was for mixed up, hormonally crazed teenagers to mess up their lives, whether through natural rebellious instincts, peer pressure, or just making stupid decisions in general. God knows I made a few myself during what turned out to be an extended bout with aggravated puberty. But with one very minor exception, I was able to avoid the long arm of the law.

A year after I left that line of work, the young teenage son of my new lady friend got into legal trouble. She was at her wits end trying to convince him to change his behavior. So I did a little casual intervention. After I let him relate his side of the story, I chuckled (for effect), and related my recent work history. I told him how it was kids like him that made the adults in the criminal justice system happy as pigs in shit. He was their meal ticket, helped pay off their mortgages, fund their vacations and retirements. He glared at me at first, then a light slowly went off in his head. (Perhaps the image of one of his adult tormentors sunning on a beach in Maui sipping an umbrella drink helped lay down some new neural pathways in his young, still chaotically developing brain.) Shortly after that, he seemed to straighten out. He joined the military, where if he didn’t get his ass killed in Iraq or Afghanistan, probably learned a requisite amount of discipline and parlayed his service into a college education and a decent paying job.

Moral of the story: There be gold in them thar hills, in the slave mines of the Prison Industrial Complex (PIC). The juvenile justice system is but one rich vein to exploit. More on that particular profit center in a moment.  But first, an overview. Consider the fortunes, and the business model, of perhaps the largest player in the PIC,  Corrections Corporation of America. The following article zooms in on another key key revenue stream of the PIC, illegal immigration.

From ThinkProgress: Nearly half of all immigrants detained by federal officials are held in facilities run by private prison companies, at an average cost for each detained immigrant is $166 a night. That’s added up to massive profits for Corrections Corporation of America, The GEO Group and other private prison companies:

A decade ago, more than 3,300 criminal immigrants were sent to private prisons under two 10-year contracts the Federal Bureau of Prisons signed with CCA worth $760 million. Now, the agency is paying the private companies $5.1 billion to hold more than 23,000 criminal immigrants through 13 contracts of varying lengths. CCA was on the verge of bankruptcy in 2000 due to lawsuits, management problems and dwindling contracts. Last year, the company reaped $162 million in net income. Federal contracts made up 43 percent of its total revenues, in part thanks to rising immigrant detention. GEO, which cites the immigration agency as its largest client, saw its net income jump from $16.9 million to $78.6 million since 2000.

Just how did CCA effect such a dramatic turnaround? In a word, lobbying. Not just for specific contracts, but against immigration reform as a whole:

As the AP explains, these remarkable profits come in the wake of an equally remarkable lobbying campaign. In the past decade, three major private prison companies spent $45 million on campaign donations and lobbyists to push legislation at the state and federal level. At times, this money has gone to truly nefarious legislation. A 2011 report found that the private prison industry spent millions seeking to increase sentences and incarcerate more people in order to increase the industry’s profits. 30 of the 36 legislators who co-sponsored Arizona’s now mostly invalidated immigration law — which would have landed many more people in detention — received campaign contributions from private prison lobbyists or companies, including CCA and GEO. According to a report released last year, CCA spent over $900,000 on federal lobbying and GEO spent between $120,000 to $199,992 in Florida alone during a short three-month span in 2011. $450,000 went to the Republican national and congressional committees, while Democrats received less than half that number. House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) and Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) were also among the private prison lobby’s top benefactors.

Another major profit center for the PIC is illegal drugs.  Given that the US has  the highest documented incarceration rate in the world, some 2.3 million people (quadruple the amount from when Ronald Reagan won the presidency in 1980, with the proportion of federal inmates rising nearly 800% during that time); and given that some 22% are drug related, that’s a half million potential customers for the rapidly growing PIC. Breaking down the numbers reveal some salient sociological facts: 70% of the prison population are non-white; 80% of the drug related incarcerations are recreational users, i.e., not violent dealers; and an amazing 3.1% of the resident adult population are either incarcerated, on parole, or probation. (ibid)

Wanna bet where the PIC stands on legalizing  drugs? On mandatory sentencing, three strike laws, and the like? Continue reading »

Insane Repugs We Have Known

 Posted by on December 29, 2012 at 3:02 PM
Dec 292012
 

Inhofe Bobble HeadJames Mountain Inhofe may not be the craziest tool currently in the Repug Shed, but he’ll serve as a fitting representative bobble-head for the whole lot of them in our year-end retrospective of some of the more insane Repugs we’ve enjoyed pillorying in 2012.

 The new year always bring fresh opportunities for renewal and success, but 2013 is also virtually guaranteed to bring US another year’s worth of shockingly insane shenanigans by actually elected Repuglicants, wannabe elected Reptilicans, along with the usual dung-cart load of Right Wing media pundicks and professional bloviators.  The clock is ticking down, so let’s not waste another minute.  Here in no particular order, of course, are some of our favorite insane Repugs, depicted in our favorite way:

McGrahamPerennial top-tear favorites, Miss Lindsey Graham, and still animated corpse, John McCain

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds;
our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

DullDuoThere’s no denying we dodged a very expensive corporate fusillade when we voted to throw this flaccid duo on the dung heap of political effluvia.

The [politicians] of today think deeply instead of clearly.
One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.”
Nikola Tesla

The Leader BonerNo, that’s not a carrot.  John Boehner was, until recently, the undisputed leader of all that wreaks crazy on the Hill. But times are changing, and an eight inch proboscis doesn’t carry the weight it once did, especially with the elephantine Tea Bag trunks that are wagging today.

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.”
Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays

MitchMcDumpty
Mitch McDumpty sat on the wall,
Mitch McDumpty did nothing at all.
All the GOP asses— all the GOP men—
Did nothing to help the people again.

 Newt LIARNewton Leroy Gingrich would have been the most insane Philanderer-in-Chief evah, in Washington, or Moon Base 1.

*

Jan "Crypt Bitch" BrewerJan Brewer ran unopposed for our unofficial but heart-felt finger-wagging award as the Rudest Bitch in Government.  Rudest Bitch Not in Government was a three-way tie between Mr. Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, and Pam Geller.

While we’re talking bitches:

hannity usaSean Hannity, another perennial fave, makes our list every year as “The Transparently Stupid Guy Who Tries The Hardest Not To Appear Transparently Stupid.”

The stuff that comes out of Sean Hannity’s mouth has been infuriating. The stuff that Bill O’Reilly says has been illogical. You go up and down the schedule and it’s insanity over there. The number of lies, perpetuated, promoted by Fox News is just shameful and it hurts everybody. ”
—David Shuster

Go little doggiesSean and Bill gitty-up;  no, those are toy guns.

 

FUX Newz StoogesThe Three Fux Stooges

Bachmann's Tea Party SausageWe admit to heart palpitations over the closeness of Michele Bachmann’s last race;  cuz we need one totally insane person in the Congress just so we never let up on our efforts to, well, get all the insane people out of Congress.

 ”The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”
—Marcus Aurelius

tRump DumpNobody moves the insane in the membrane goalposts farther or faster than Donald tRump, who just cancelled construction on his insane, literally underwater, 24 million dollar boondoggle “catering hall.”

We are in the process of creating what deserves to be called the idiot culture. Not an idiot sub-culture, which every society has bubbling beneath the surface and which can provide harmless fun; but the culture itself. For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm, even our cultural ideal.”
Carl Bernstein

 Limbaugh, you treasonous fuckstick. Instant karma's gonna get you.W.T.F.

Prisoner RoveKarl you ignorant slut. You look perfect in prison orange.

In America, the criminally insane rule and the rest of us, or the vast majority of the rest of us, either do not care, do not know, or are distracted and properly brainwashed into acquiescence.”
Kurt Nimmo

Hucka-Chick-FiletHucka-Chickabee is off the diet and on the crazy train again with his insane comments over the Newtown massacre.  His dependability as a nut job is often staggering, but now it’s also caused by his gross tonnage.

 Presi-Queen Palin and her CourtResplendent in her make-believe Presi-Queen victory dress over First Runner-up Loser Carrie What’s-her-name and Second Runner-up Loser Willard Romney, Sarah wore an elegant strapless gown with a fitted ruched bodice accented with gorgeous lace piquewadeens¹ and hand-beaded details;  the silk and taffeta fabric was spun exclusively for Mrs Palin by 100% American Evangelical silk worms.  Romney’s dress, on the other hand, was valued at over $14 million dollars, and was custom made on Planet Kolob from pure unrefined evil.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”
—Frank Zappa

I’m already feeling a disturbance in the Force, so Ima stop here.

Best Wishes for a fabulous and progressively great new year, see you there.
Power to the People.  Live in Light and Love.

 

 

 

¹ Yeah we make shit up.

Exceptional American Doucherism

 Posted by on December 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Dec 102012
 

 Rethugs vote to throw the world’s disabled over the cliff

The most common foreign policy refrain we hear from the Rethugs is a loud, chest thumping  rendition of “American Exceptionalism” (ironically, a term coined by the American Communist Party in the 1920s during their factional disputes). Like its predecessor, “Manifest Destiny” the message is straightforward: Because of our superior values, based on liberty and democracy and embodied in our very governmental structure, God chose America to lead humanity to a better world.

Anyone making such a claim would be expected to walk the talk, to lead by example. The US Senate had a perfect opportunity to do just that last week by ratifying The U.N. Convention on the Rights of Persons With Disabilities.  The Convention, negotiated by George H.W. Bush and signed by Bush the Lesser, is modeled on the Americans with Disabilities Act and would provide the world’s disabled the same freedom of mobility that US citizens enjoy today.

In a dramatic attempt to impress upon the Senators the moral and historical importance of the issue, former senator, presidential candidate, and crippled war veteran, Bob Dole, was wheeled onto the Senate floor from a D.C. hospital.  Frail but willing to fight one last battle on behalf of a cause he spent over six decades championing, he was positioned on the Senate floor in such way that each GOP senator had to pass by him on the way to their seats.  They were all glad to see him, shaking his only functioning hand, smiling as he implored them for their votes.  When the last senator had filed by, his wife, Liddy, also a former senator and one-time head of the Red Cross, wheeled him off the floor before the formal debate and vote began.

As for what  happened next, cue The Temptations singing Smiling Faces Sometimes:

Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Beware, beware of the handshake
That hides the snake
I’m telling you beware
Beware of the pat on the back
It just might hold you back

When the votes were tallied, all the Democratic senators voted aye, while only 8 GOPers (including John McCain) did.  Meaning 38 found it in their cold, cold hearts to vote nay.  Because treaties require 67 votes, it died right there on the Senate floor.

CBS News tries to explain why:

Among the opponents of the treaty were former GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum and Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah. Lee led opposition among conservative senators to the treaty, which he suggested posed a threat to American sovereignty. Santorum argued that the treaty could change U.S. law or be used as a standard in court cases, despite the fact that only U.S. law can be the basis for litigation in American courtrooms.

Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla., voted against the treaty because he said he opposes “cumbersome regulations and potentially overzealous international organizations with anti-American biases that infringe upon American society,” the Associated Press reported. Critics suggested the treaty could prevent home-schooling parents from making their own decisions concerning disabled children and that it could increase abortions worldwide.

Gail Collins zooms in on the bogus home schooling angle and other inanities:

The theory about the treaty on the disabled is that the bit about “best interests of the child” could be translated into laws prohibiting disabled children from being home-schooled. At his press conference, Santorum acknowledged that wasn’t in the cards. But he theorized that someone might use the treaty in a lawsuit “and through the court system begin to deny parents the right to raise their children in conformity with what they believe.”

[...]

Or a boilerplate mention in the treaty of economic, social and cultural rights that Senator Mike Lee of Utah claimed was “part of a march toward socialism.”

Uh, what?  Would someone see if any of that makes sense in any of the languages spoken by the 126 countries who have already ratified, and have actually read, the treaty?  I mean, who’d a thunk that the home school movement had accrued so much power as to sink international treaties.

Gail concludes with these observations on the cancer that is consuming the GOP:

There would almost certainly have been plenty of votes to approve the treaty if the Republicans had felt free to think for themselves. The “no” votes included a senator who had voted for the treaty in committee, a senator who had sent out a press release supporting the treaty and a senator who actually voted “aye” and then switched when it was clear the treaty was going down anyway. Not to mention a lot of really depressed-looking legislators.

The big worry was, of course, offending the Tea Party. The same Tea Party that pounded Mitt Romney into the presidential candidate we came to know and reject over the past election season. The same Tea Party that keeps threatening to wage primaries against incumbents who don’t do what they’re told. The Tea Party who made those threats work so well in the last election that Indiana now has a totally unforeseen Democratic senator.

The threat the Republicans need to worry about isn’t in the United Nations.

IOW, the inmates are still very much in control of the asylum.

[Image found here.]

Tales From The Benghazi Crypt Keeper (Update)

 Posted by on November 29, 2012 at 4:39 PM
Nov 292012
 

 Crypt Keeper John McCain says: “Hello, Boils and Ghouls. Welcome to my nightmare.”

Is it just US (Urantian Sojourn), or is John McCain becoming a decrepit parody of himself?

Just as he has never gotten over being tortured by the North Vietnamese, manifest in his ‘bomb the hell out of ‘em’ knee-jerk response to nearly every foreign policy crisis,  he will never get over losing to The Black Man in The White House.

Early in President Obama’s first term, McCain beat the war drums on Iran. During the Arab Spring, he demanded that our default response be to arm every opposition group in sight, despite the fact that many of them are Islamic fundamentalists with Al Qaeda sympathies.  The strategy of “leading from behind” that operated so effectively in overthrowing Libya’s Mohamar Qadaffi, costing not a single American life, makes McCain’s wrinkled and liver spotted skin crawl right off his malformed skeleton. (That skeletal malformation was the result of a crash landing he endured after being shot down over heavily populated Hanoi by the Vietnamese during one of his 23 bombing sorties.) This is a guy who really, really enjoys the smell of napalm in the morning.

Not surprising then that he would immediately jump all over the Benghazi tragedy. Instead of waiting for a thorough investigation of how and why four brave Americans lost their lives (former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen (ret.), is conducting one such investigation for the State Department), McCain accused the Administration of a political cover-up, supposedly to preserve President Obama’s national security cred in the run-up to the election. Killing Usama bin Laden had effectively neutered what had been a major GOP political advantage, national defense. Given that they had thoroughly tanked the economy under George W. Bush, they had little left to hang their hats on.

A few weeks later, Obama won the election in an electoral landslide and the popular vote by nearly four percentage points. At that point, you would have thought that all the election year cover-up hype would have died a natural death. Not so, when the ever-vengeful McCain catches the scent of blood and feces in the air.

(Perhaps his shattered dreams of being appointed Secretary of Defense in a Mitt Romney administration added fuel to his always simmering anger. How would someone with McCain’s psychological profile confront the loss of an opportunity to do more than just sing “Bomb, bomb, bomb…Iran”? Hadn’t Romney’s biggest donor, Sheldon Adelson, who contributed a record $70 million after saying he would spend whatever it took to defeat Obama, made the price of his support a war against Iran? Thus did another fevered McCain ambition turn to ashes in his hands.)

Instead of confronting Obama directly over the Benghazi snafu, McCain focused his fire on UN Ambassador Susan Rice, the hapless messenger sent out by the White House to explain the ever developing understanding of the events of 9/11/12.  (Funny how the Obama proxies subjected to the most vicious Rethug attacks have all been Black, namely Rice, Eric Holder and Van Jones). In his continuing pogrom against all things Obama, McCain was joined by two fellow Rethug senators,  his BFF,  Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and Kelly Ayotte (R-Maine).  Together, The New Three Amigos reacted to every subsequent intelligence community disclosure with suspicion, if not downright hostility. (See our earlier reports here and here.)

For instance, when former CIA Director and Republican rock star, David Petraeus, confirmed the White House account of how Rice was dutifully relaying talking points provided to her by the intelligence community, they were left sputtering and reaching for a new line of attack. They soon seized upon the difference between the classified and unclassified versions of the talking points. The unclassified version given by Rice omitted mention of Al Qaeda,  and instead tenuously identified the proximate cause as “extremists” reacting to an anti-Muslim YouTube video that had spurred riots around the Muslim world, a theory later deemed untrue, despite testimony eyewitness accounts to the contrary.

The McCain reputation assassin team geared up and leaped into action, once again accusing the White House of altering the talking points for political purposes. And once again, they were shot down by the intel community who said that they had approved the unclassified version in order to protect sources and methods, and for legal reasons “to prevent compromising an ongoing criminal investigation.”

Undeterred, The Benghazi Crypt Keeper nursed his conspiratorial golem back to life from his own withered man boob, claiming that were still “fifty questions”  he wanted answered. Hoping to finally put the issue to rest, Rice traveled to The Russell Senate Building Tuesday, accompanied by the interim CIA Director, Michael J. Morell, to personally answer whatever questions the Amigos might still have.

When the interviews were over, the Amigos immediately flocked to the Klieg lights and tv cameras,where they proceeded to double down on their shoot the messenger campaign. McCain said that he would be “very hard pressed” to support her expected nomination to succeed Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State. And Dear Lindsey had the line of the day when he confessed “Bottom line, I’m more disturbed than I was before.” (Ahem, Lindsey. Your lacey Freudian slip is showing.) Former Amigo Joe Lieberman (I-CON) was also paid a visit but he took a different tack, saying that Rice “told the truth, and nothing but the truth.”

Rice and Morell continued their visits to The Hill Wednesday, stopping by to see Susan Collins (R-Maine), ranking minority chair of the; and Bob Corker (R-TN), a member of the Foreign Relations Committee. Corker picked up the baton and dutifully continued the party line criticism of Rice. Collins unexpectedly opened up a new line of attack, implying that Rice might have also been responsible for the bombings of the Kenya and Tanzania embassies in the mid 1990s when she was assistant secretary of state for African Affairs  in the Clinton administration. One is entitled to ask: If Collins really considers that such a burning issue, why didn’t she bring it up during the January 2009 floor debate that preceded Rice’s unanimous Senate approval as Ambassador to the UN? Prolly because Rice ‘s old job involved policy, not security.

“Questions, questions– vee still have questions!” An endless series of questions, most or all of which have already been answered, as Rachel Maddow pointed out on her show Wednesday evening. All of which leads us to our own question: Just what the hell is all this sturm and drang really about? Continue reading »

Ben Ghazi Located

 Posted by on November 28, 2012 at 6:06 AM
Nov 282012
 

Mr. Ben “Cheeto’” Ghazi was interviewed at his home this weekend, as he watched the Packers get hammered by the New York Giants.

WAUNAKEE, WISCONSIN —  Republican Sens. John McCain (Ariz.), Lindsey Graham (S.C.) and Kelly Ayotte (N.H.) said Tuesday that their meeting with U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice about the attack in Benghazi, Libya, had only served to bunch up there underoos even more over the administration’s explanation of the attack and Rice’s qualifications as a potential secretary of state.

Speaking in hindsight, Senator Graham said,  “Let me be clear, bottom line, I’m more disturbed now than I was before, that the explanation about how Americans died in the Ben Ghazi thing, by Ambassador Rice I think does not do justice to the reality at the time and, in hindsight, clearly was completely wrong.”  Asked if he had been briefed on the weekend CIA interview of Ben Ghazi, Graham said he had no knowledge of anyone named Ben Ghazi, but that he thought it was “supposed to be a town over in Libya somewhere.”

Ghazi was contacted at his suburban Waunakee town home Sunday by CIA agents, during the Packers-Giants football game.  Thirty-six year old Ghazi, an admitted Cheetos and tv addict, told the agents, “Yeah, I know all about Ben Ghazi—because, you know, like, I am him.”  Ghazi also told the agents he was recently discharged from his position with Lamers Bus Lines in Waunakee, and fell into a funk over the misfortunes of the Green Bay Packers football team, and had been binging cheetos for several weeks.

Agents confirmed Ghazi was not a person of interest in the government’s current attempts to assuage the obsession of Sens. McCain, Graham, and Ayotte with the possible nomination of Ambassador Susan Rice, but felt they deserved to know everything there is to know about Benghazi, even if it is just some loser cheese-head from Waunakee.

(Mr. Ben Ghazi’s brother, Buck Ghazi, contributed to this report.)