GINGRICH WAS SLIMED

 Posted by on May 19, 2011 at 10:38 AM
May 192011
 

 

By now, consummate Newt Watchers have already seen the setup smear-job on presidential candidate Gingrich in the lobby of a Dubuque, Iowa hotel.  But shocked advisers for Gingrich are crying foul, saying it wasn’t just some “disgruntled, overweight, vicious Republican impersonator” who attacked Mr. Gingrich, but was, in fact, Satan himself.

The Gingrich For President Committee released this photo early today, claiming it is an un-retouched still taken from video footage of the encounter.
(If you want to see the slime, you must click it.)

A Gingrich spokesperson, speaking on condition of anonymity, brandished the photo (above) in front of several reporters at a Dubuque watering hole, saying that “the Devil” apparently was unable to completely conceal his nefarious identity, claiming “independent researchers” had discovered a single frame of video footage of the event that clearly revealed the image of Satan, complete with a copious amount of ectoplasmic slime— a supernatural viscous substance that is said to exude from the body of evil spirits.

However, within 24 hours of the release of the photo, other, slightly more “independent researchers”— unaffiliated with the Gingrich campaign— determined that no other video accounts of the event they had examined showed the image of anyone other than Mr. Russell Fuhrman holding the hand of Mr. Gingrich.

Gingrich drew even more unwanted attention as he quickly exited the establishment, when a comely woman dressed as a Catholic nun began repeatedly shouting, “I want to have your love child!” and had to be physically restrained from touching Gingrich.

T_P_KI Wrote This.

Stirring the cosmic paint. Urantian first and last. Abide. Follow me on Twitter: @T_P_K

  One Response to “GINGRICH WAS SLIMED”

Comments (1)
  1.  

    And Stephen adds that The Newster’s take on Paul Ryan’s Medicare privitization plan is just a:

    “… variation, just like Wife Three is a variation on Wive’s One and Two”

Enlighten us.