Brain Dead On Arrival

Well, shit. Eric.
You need to be voted out of Congress. You need to be sent to a suburb in one of those American cities across this country, and you need to be unemployed, with no prospects, with no health insurance, and worrying how the fuck you’re going to pay for a visit to the doctor’s office when you and yours catch the Swine Flu.

Our National Nutsack

Isn’t revisiting the abuses of the last eight years, no matter how bad they were, a luxury we can’t afford?
No, it isn’t, because America is more than a collection of policies. We are, or at least we used to be, a nation of moral ideals. In the past, our government has sometimes done an imperfect job of upholding those ideals. But never before have our leaders so utterly betrayed everything our nation stands for. “This government does not torture people,” declared former President Bush, but it did, and all the world knows it.

The Worst Type of Coward

Beatings, partial drownings, slamming detainees against walls, punching, kicking, poisonous stinging insects, forced nudity, sleep deprivation, profound disruption of sensory input, exposure to extreme cold and heat, all of it was so very necessary in prying loose information the psychopathic former vice president claims would have been used to keep us snug and secure at night when we climb into our cozy beds, and he slides back into his box of sacred dirt. . .

Their Days Of Freedom Are Numbered

Right now, Dick and George may still be enjoying their fun in the sun, barbecuing kittehs; but those days are numbered. The chances they’ll be arrested and charged with war crimes are growing stronger every day. . . Because people are starting to understand the things they said. . . [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YwYaNkjkEc&NR=1[/youtube] “Let’s roll,” indeed.

The Party Of Zero

The infamous “Boner Memorial,” a controversial sculpture eulogizing the demise of the Republican Party of the late twentieth century, will be moved next week to a private museum dedicated to significant political anachronisms. Carved in 2020, the sculpture depicts the de facto leader of the Republican party in it’s death throes, Congressman John Boehner of Ohio.