McCain’s Note In The Wall
McCain produced the note from his left suit coat pocket, and with a series of awkward looking jabs, he finally forced the note into a tiny crevice of the ancient wall.
Category: Satire
OBAMA CHOOSES RUNNING MATE
A smiling Barack Obama shows off his choice for veep to a captivated Chicago crowd, Friday. CHICAGO— In a stunning and solemn signal to Republicans and more importantly rogue nations around the globe, Barack Obama announced his choice for the vice-presidential slot on the Democratic ticket early today. GORT, spelled with all caps, stands for “Galactic Order Robot Tool,” and …
OBAMA GETS THAT SINKING FEELING
Hillary Clinton once said all she had to do to knock a story off the front page was change her hairstyle. This past week, as it rained nine-inch deep double-basin shameless-steel kitchen sinks in Ohio, it was clear that something a little stronger than a hairstyle had knocked Barack Obama off the primary juggernaut he’d been on since the fifth …
The Manchurian Muslim Candidate
According to the tireless efforts of patriots like Matt Drudgery and Rush Limpbot, a political catastrophe of the highest order can still be avoided. In a scoop that left the MSM swooning with envy, Drudgery uncovered Barak Obama’s middle name. “Hussein. Hussein!,” thundered Limpbot in an exclusive interview I had with him today. “I mean, they don’t even try to …
Mortals Petition God For New Hell Policy
[M]ercy may be lavish, but justice is precise. —The Urantia Book IN A MOTION filed with the Universe Supreme Court yesterday, a group of mortals from the planet Urantia petitioned the Creator to revise his original plans and set aside at least one world for the eternal damnation of George W. Bush and his allies. “We know that the nature …
When Killer Islamofascist Robots Attack
A radio-controlled Dalek, a villainous cyborg from the Doctor Who TV series, being demonstrated in London in 2006. The device was responsible for the death of twenty-two bystanders, with fifteen more seriously injured before the remote was wrestled away from Howdy Dooby, above. “Terrorist groups may soon deploy killer robots against unsuspecting civilians. . .” begins this warning from the …
McCain Gets End Times Endorsement
A day after the Ohio debate in which MTP’s major scold, Timmeh Russert and presidential rival Hillary Clinton beat up on Obama for being the recipient of some favorable but unsolicited words from Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan, St. John McCain accepted the support from mega-church magnate and Armageddon promoter, the Rev. John Hagee. “All I can tell you …
