SOCIALISM CRUSHES AMERICA

LYONS, CO — I had to go into town this morning to help my brother and sister Liberals round up a few dozen stray T-Baggers and RepubliCons that were still laying around catatonic in the streets, and get’m on the trains headed for the re-edumacation camps in central Kansas. I was surprised to find this Weakly Whurled News already at …

Teabaggers Turn Their Ids Inside Out

Teabaggers threatening violence against health insurance reform That we are now firmly involved in what Jacques Ellul called the irreversible, integration/activation phase of a 30 year long corporatist propaganda campaign was on full display today at the nation’s Capitol. Hundreds of highly agitated Teabaggers, whipped into a frenzy by the demigods of right wing radio and television and a few …

Torch Me Up, Scottie

The attack against Christians by Beck may turn out to be the most interesting opportunity for Religion to finally provide some genuine open criticism of itself, and quickly provide the sort of self-correction Christianity so desperately needs. So you go, Jim Wallis, and don’t stop until Christianity is once again the religion of Jesus.

Beck To Jesus: Drop Dead

I’m begging you, your right to religion and freedom to exercise religion and read all of the passages of the Bible as you want to read them and as your church wants to preach them . . . are going to come under the ropes in the next year. If it lasts that long it will be the next year. …

Miss Fortune Teller

Hypocrisy be damned, Miss Fortune Teller reads a teleprompter jab off her own fleshy-feely Telepalmer Deep in a Nashville fog, at the darkest time of night, A (Rogue) Miss Fortune Teller sat in a comfy chair As she engaged in an ancient ritual. The ones that had gathered did not see What the Fortune Teller was doing For she was …

The Crown Jewel of Stupidism [sic]

Decked out in full RWNJ regalia, Michele Bachmann riles up the Yakusa. The crown jewel of Michele Bachmann‘s (R-Minn.) winger tea-ara is a GOPper sheep.  Not surprisingly, then, at a health care forum on Monday at the Mayo Clinic, she suggested that health care reform in America would lead to a Yakusa-like “gangster government” that would cause the GOPper sheep— …

Please Don’t Ask and Don’t Tell

What’s that smell? Can’t you smell that smell? —Lynyrd Skynyrd STEVE DOUCHEY: All right. Thank you very much for teeing up that clip.  Joining us, very much alive this morning, is Senator John Sidney McCain, affectionately known around here as Captain Underpants. Good morning to you, Captain, sir. SEN. UNDERPANTS: What?  We’re already on?  I’ve gotta change my— um— okay. …