To market, to market, to buy a fat pig,
Homes again, homes again, dancing a jig;
To market, to market, to buy a fat hog;
Homes again, homes again, jiggety-jog;
To market, to market, to buy a plum bun,
Homes again, homes again, market is done.
— Apologies to Mother Goose
In 2006, John and Cindy sold their 2-acre estate in Phoenix, Arizona for a paltry $3.75 million. It was a hard sell. The house had been one of Cindy Lou’s childhood homes, which the McCains inherited; it’s where those McCain family recipes were finely honed before they were copied by the Food Network.
“Almost every memory I have of childhood is in this house—very happy memories,” Cindy Loe McCain says. “I want my children to know this house and have these memories.” Unfortunately for the children, that desire got pushed aside by. . . whatever. But not before Architectural Digest did a wonderful article on the property, which went off the rails by referencing one of the Senator’s rare mentions of his POW™ daze days:
Architectural Digest, July, 2005:
John McCain suffered more than five years of harsh imprisonment in North Vietnam. He was tortured, endlessly interrogated, bound hand and foot, and clapped into solitary confinement; he endured mental and physical punishment. At last, [um, four days after his capture] when it was discovered by his captors [ how does one do that pre-Google? ] that his father was an important officer in the U.S. Navy, he was given permission to leave; yet he refused to go while his fellow prisoners remained behind bars. Because of this stern refusal, his punishment became more severe. Yet the book’s theme is forgiveness and faith.
“Cindy has a picture fetish,” the senator says, gesturing to a bank of framed photographs— family pictures, photos of pets, of landscapes, [and— can you imagine?] of the senator himself on the day of his release from his Hanoi prison. [Wonder who took that?]
Asked whether he will run for president again, the senator chooses his words carefully. “If I talk seriously about it, my activities in the Senate will be viewed through the prism of presidential candidate rather than a senator who’s trying to do good work.”
While one may reasonably ask “What activities in the Senate??” Despite his reluctance to talk about his time as a POW™, the crusty Senator reluctantly volunteered this:
“My best friends are those I was in the Navy with and especially those I was in (expletive deleted) prison with,” the senator says. Describing one of them, he says, “He is one of those (expletive deleted) people for whom everything is either black or white. It’s wonderful to go through life like that. I wish I could.” Reminded of his independent and subtler views, he remarks, “That’s one of the reasons [my candidacy] is so attractive,” and with his signature deadpan, “and one of the reasons it’s so (expletive deleted) difficult.”
One of the Senator’s “independent and subtler views” is that his current “black or white” political opponent, Barack Obama, is “dangerously unprepared” to be president, having just a single unattractive home in of all places, Chicago. McCain subtly pointed out he has numerous homes, too many to even remember, which have prepared him to go to war in order to take care of the many millions of homes dotting the American landscape. McCain added, in his signature bedpan deadpan, “Besides, my (expletive deleted) opponent isn’t even rich.”