GRAND CAYMAN — President-elect Barack Obama met with several impressive new cabinet members today to discuss a plan of action to solve the many problems facing his new administration, the United States, and the world. The meeting was held on a private beach on Grand Cayman Island, which Obama noted was symbolic of the “sea change” that was coming.
The economic and financial disaster boiling away on the front burner of the Stove of State must have full attention, Obama said, “but our need for change stretches across the entire spectrum, and I intend to begin addressing the entire spectrum even before day one.”
Appearing in unorthodox raiment, Obama introduced the group to a clearly gaa-gaa press core, starting with that familiar little tootsie roll sage, Yoda, who seemed unusually upbeat. “Master Yoda has no need of introduction; and I am extremely pleased to announce his acceptance of the position of Minister of Wisdom,” said Obama. “Next to him is Sun Wukong, the Silent Monk, who will be filling the top position in our new Department of Mental Discipline. More about that later.
“Now, we’re extremely pleased to have none other than Gort, as our new Intergalactic Liaison. And standing next to him is of course, a very familiar face, Kris Kringle. Kris will be heading up the new Ministry of Service, which will encourage the spirit of selfless service 365 days a year.
“Standing next to him is our own hero of heroes, Mr. Clark Kent, better known as Superman. Mr. Kent will be making a major contribution to our nation as the new Minister of Emergencies. His strength and compassion will be indispensable to all Americans, and to all the nations of the world.
“Finally, I am utterly humbled— and pleased beyond words— to welcome our Lord and Savior, Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God; without whom, absolutely none of this would even be possible. His undying love and divine watch-care of the entire universe extends to even us lowly mortals, on this, the world of his human nativity. Together we will make every effort to not only discover his Divine Will for the peoples of our beautiful planet, but to actually do his Will. And now, if you will excuse us, we’ll get to work.”
With that, president-elect Obama and his guests moved inside to begin their discussions. The entire press core, rendered essentially speechless, headed en masse to the pool bar, to um, let all this change sink in.