“Merry Christmas” militant Ms. Betty Fiobles waits for local authorities.
FAIRFAX WALMART — Betty Irene Fiobles of East Dour drove to the Fairfax Walmart in a snit of Christmassy cheer Wednesday, but that cheer was quickly and brutally put to death by a renegade Walmart greeter who savaged her by blithely uttering, “Merry Holidays.” Fiobles snapped, shouting, “How dare you!” and began pummeling the greeter, 76 year old Max Gauche, with her deluxe toaster oven-sized purse.
The blood-stained deluxe toaster oven-sized bludgeoning device
Several other customers and employees struggled to get Fiobles beyond striking distance, while Gauche was pulled to his feet. An angry verbal exchange ensued, with Fiobles hurling epithets laced with expletives, calling Gauche a “domestic terrorist” and “Christmas hater.” Gauche, a disabled Veteran, asked Fiobles if she was insane, which prompted another lunging attack.
Walmart Security eventually sequestered Fiobles in the employee lounge to await the arrival of East Dour deputies. She explained she was actively involved in the War on Christmas Greetings, a follower of Fox News “host” Bill O’Reilly’s struggles against the secular progressive agenda to destroy Christmas, and would not allow the holiday “Christian celebration of Christmas to be attacked by secular terrorists.”
Utah State Senator Chris Buttars looks normal.
Fiobles went on to applaud Utah Sen. Chris Buttars’ recent attempts to pass a resolution requiring store clerks to say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays,” calling him “…a patriot in the true statuary [sic] of our Lord.”
Greeter Max Guache said he would be pressing charges, and quitting his job immediately, explaining, “I’m simply too old to have to put up with people who are just “nuckin’ futts.”
jibby macaw on 
Darren on 
BlueNose on 
