I Solemnly Swear. . .


WASHINGTON — Everything was going swimmingly.  Joe the Biden had been sworn in, and then the lovely Dianne Feinstein introduced Chief Justice of the United Staes, John D. Roberts.  Now, you’d think a guy like Roberts, who’s had a couple a whacky seizures would realize the serviceability of a back-up plan— at all times.  Especially when you were going to speak the oath for the swearing in of America’s president.

But no.   “Notes?  I doan need no stinkin’ notes!  I’m da cheef justeece!”

And so, in a fit of chief justicey hubris, he swaggered up to the task relying on just his braincells to pull the words out right. But this little hairball of hubris got stuck in Roberts’ throat.

I Barack Hussein Obama,” began Roberts, and his slight pause greenlighted Obama—

I Barack“— said Obama, but Roberts was still going:  “do solemnly swear—”

Obama: “I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear

Roberts: “That I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully

WTF.  No.

Try this:   That I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States. . .

Obama repeated: “that I will execute…” and stopped. . . giving Roberts a reboot to get it right.

Roberts: “Er. . . faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States...”

But then Obama repeated the first structure: “The office of president of the United States faithfully…”

At that point, Roberts had collected himself, leading as Obama followed with, “And will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

So help you God?”

So help me God.”

Well.. No one can accuse them of rehearsing it to death, huh.

We should cherish it just the same.

But now it begins.  The most awesome four years of America’s life.  Better get a good grip on your gluteus maximus.


  1. Avatar Human of Days

    P1257:3, 114:7.3

    Mortals of the realm are chosen for service in the reserve corps of destiny on the inhabited worlds because of:

    1. Special capacity for being secretly rehearsed for numerous possible emergency missions in the conduct of various activities of world affairs.

    2. Wholehearted dedication to some special social, economic, political, spiritual, or other cause, coupled with willingness to serve without human recognition and rewards.

    3. The possession of a Thought Adjuster of extraordinary versatility and probable pre-Urantia experience in coping with planetary difficulties and contending with impending world
    emergency situations.

    Who’s ur daddy?

  2. LOL. . . Nonnie yoo so funny!
    But I’m thinking teh Boner is going to have lots to cry about when many of his Republican colleagues realize they can be Americans First and feel good about themselves and vote for the change Obama will bring.

  3. i sorta liked that the oath got screwed up a little. it was charming, like when wedding vows get a little screwed up. but that’s just me. that said, i hope this was roberts’ last swearing-in.

    as to the pic that you used, oh how i wish i knew how to use flash. i would have obama flick his hand backwards, slapping boohoo boehner endlessly! give the little weasel sumthin’ to cry about!

  4. Bwwahhaaahaaa! There’s nothing stiff about old Dick. That broken worm couldn’t manage to stand for the thirty seconds it took to administer the oath— about the same amount of time it took him to transfer his puffy white self into the lemo that hauled him back to an undisclosed location. Tonight, as he sits on his sphincter while he brushes his fangs, I hope he dribbles Crest juice down the front of his chemise.

  5. Propagandee Propagandee

    Bush appointee Chief Justice Roberts botched the 34 word oath of office;

    Cheney had his Dr. Strangelove moment as he was pushed out of town in a wheelchair (did anyone notice whether he was able to keep his right arm down?):

    And Bush departed in Marine One to the upraised (middle) fingers of the masses (as reported by Thom Hartmann live on his radio show this AM)–

    It was, all and all, a fitting display by members of the most wretched administration in US history.

    While it would be premature to say that our long national nightmare is over, given the long term damage Bush & Cheney have done to the US and the world at large, we’ve at least emerged from the deep REM stage our collective coma.

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