Spent all your munny, yet? Did you burn through your extra cash on the holidays War on Christmas? That triple-bypass you need? The mortgage meltdown? Gas? Groceries? Well then, you needs you some Bush Bucks®. Here we are at the end of two terms of Republican governance, and the Wall Street scalliwags— and everybody else with a wallet, it seems— are lined up at the guvmint trough with they hands out, getting they Billions from the Bank ‘o Bush. Every swingin’ dick from Larry Flynt of Hustler, (ah ha ha ha), to Joe Francis and Girls Gone Wild have fallen on hard times, just like the rest of us. They neeeeedz the munny, cuzz if they fails, WE all fails.
And since that “we” certainly sounds like it includes you and me, don’t you deserve just one single teensy-tiny piece of billionaire legal tender save-yur-butt paper? You know all the problems it would solve; your mortgage, your insurance, your health care costs, sexual and other moral and ethical indiscretions, food, gas, college for the kiddies, toys, yachts, jet planes for you and your pets, your own island, drugs, rock ‘n roll… so why aren’t you in line with the fat cats?
Well, because you can’t be. Why not?? Because. • Just Because.
Because we’re not all fuckin’ “socialists,” ya tankards. Just those humps at the top of the human food chain. Where there’s billions, there’s always enough to be good little socialists. The line for a bailout is hierarchical, kids. The more you have had, however you managed to get your grubbies on it, the more you deserve. The less you had, the less you deserve. Here’s the bottom line: if you had/have a mortgage, you don’t get squat.
And thus the sad irony of the poor capitalists, the humble peons of poverty; they shall inherit the earth; um, the dirt; for theirs are the treasures of the kingdom of heaven; but not now, not ever, the collective debt treasure of the United States Treasury.