All Hail Satan?


Who says wingnuts don’t have a sense of humor.  Seriously.  Who else would play Obama’s speeches backwards to try and find messages addressed to Satan, when all you have to do is ask the dude?

satan on capital hillSatan was on Capital Hill Monday, answering reporter’s questions.

FAUX NEWS: Satan, reliable sources have recently disclosed to Faux News that you’ve been getting messages through President Obama’s speeches; er, when they’re played backwards.  Can you comment on this, and have you talked to the president personally?

SATAN:  You know, that’s just fuckin’ crazy.  After all the work I’ve done over at your network, you imbeciles are still an embarrassment to all that’s unholy.

FAUX NEWS: If I could follow up, have you spoken wi—

SATAN: NO!  Just shut the fuck up.

FAUX NEWS: You never answered the second part of my question regar—

SATAN: (Sighs heavily) Look,  jackass;  you see this sorry excuse for a set of teeth?  If I would have had a decent dental plan, this never would have happened.

FAUX NEWS: But regar—

SATAN:  I’m up here today to see my Congresswoman about health care;  if I wanted to talk to Obama I’d have to go through the usual channels, you ‘tard.

FAUX NEWS: Does that mean you’ve used those channels to influence the President?

SATAN: You know, I had second thoughts about you wingtards when I started cultivating hate and fear over there; I regret that now.  You all make me sick.

Yes, it is hard to get a straight answer out of him, and lately he seems more peevish than usual when talking with the main stream media.  Close observers are suggesting that President Obama’s charm offensive in the world has him back on his heels, and for the first time in decades the usual evil trash just isn’t working.  It’s also worth noting that not a single reporter addressed him as “The Great” Satan;  perhaps “shift happens” in ways not entirely clear even to Satan.  Developing. . .


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