WASHINGTON D.C. — Call me old fashioned, call me uncool; but postmortem lividity just doesn’t cut it as a turn-on. But there is a fringe element out there that apparently finds it to be so, and the opportunistic senatorial cadaver of John “McDead” McCain was out in the clubs tappin’ that shit this weekend.
Lately, Little Johnnie has been stepping into the limelight more frequently— and more freakishly— in an effort to re-assert his decaying influence in the party of No, and no one was all that shocked to see that he’s pushing the signatures of other ex-military men long-dead in his efforts to turn back time on Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.
And now McCain has warned anyone who’ll listen, that using reconciliation to complete healthcare reform would fundamentally alter the nature of the known Universe. Earlier today, Senate graveyard custodians alerted the Washington press corpse that McDead has begun digging up the remains of the Gang of 14, and is attempting to drag their rotting corpses back into the fray.
The fact that Mike DeWine, Lincoln Chafee, John Warner, and Ken Salazar are no longer in congress hasn’t forced McDead to adjust the math to “the Gang of Ten.” They’ll always be the Gang of 14, even if McCain is the only active member. (And I apologize for writing a sentence with the words “McCain,” “active,” and “member” in it.) It’s going to be dispiriting to see if any of the surviving gang members are actually brain-dead enough to join McDead in his disgusting pursuit of political nechrophilia, but then, we are talking about the end of the freaking Republicon Universe, here. So. More. Power. To heem.