The Michele Bachmann History Channel

Team Coco in an historical reenactment of the world according to Bachmann

Seems that GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has a problem with Johns.

First she confused actor John Wayne with serial killer John Wayne Gacy. And yesterday she confused Founding Father John Adams with his son John Quincy Adams. The latter gaffe arose from her historical re-write of the Founders’ attitude towards slavery.

Ms Little History Professor had claimed that the Founding Fathers had bravely fought against slavery, notwithstanding that those with large estates like Jefferson and Washington typically had a hundred or more slaves working their property. Or that they had embedded the institution of slavery into the very fabric of the Constitution, declaring that each slave only counted as three-fifths of a person.

When questioned by George Stephanopolous on Good Morning America about her ignorance of American history, Michelle dug herself in deeper:

Stephanopoulos: You have been making a lot of progress, also getting a lot of scrutiny.  I am not going to get too deep into the “flake” flap from Sunday. But as you make progress in this campaign everything you say is going to get more scrutiny. And the Pulitzer Prize winning website, Politifact, has found that you have the worst record of making false statements of any of the leading contenders. And I wondered if you wanted to take a chance to clear up some of your past statements. For example earlier this year you said that the Founding Fathers who wrote the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence worked tirelessly to end slavery. Now with respect Congresswoman, that’s just not true. Many of them including Jefferson and Washington were actually slave holders and slavery didn’t end until the Civil War.

Bachmann: Well you know what’s marvelous is that in this country and under our constitution, we have the ability when we recognize that something is wrong to change it. And that’s what we did in our country. We changed it. We no longer have slavery. That’s a good thing. And what our Constitution has done for our nation is to give us the basis of freedom unparalleled in the rest of the world.

Stephanopoulos: I agree with that…

Bachmann: That’s what people want…they realize our government is taking away our freedom.

Stephanopoulos: But that’s not what you said. You said that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery.

Bachmann: Well if you look at one of our Founding Fathers, John Quincy Adams, that’s absolutely true. He was a very young boy when he was with his father serving essentially as his father’s secretary. He tirelessly worked throughout his life to make sure that we did in fact one day eradicate slavery….

Stephanopoulos: He wasn’t one of the Founding Fathers – he was a president, he was a Secretary of State, he was a member of Congress, you’re right he did work to end slavery decades later. But so you are standing by this comment that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery?

Bachmann: Well, John Quincy Adams most certainly was a part of the Revolutionary War era. He was a young boy but he was actively involved…

Now, George– go easy on the little lady. If you could just put your librul lame stream media bias aside for one moment, you would agree that a  boy who was eight years old at the time the Constitution was signed qualifies as a Founding Father.

Thank the Comedy gods that Michele has thrown her bonnet into the ring.

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