House Speaker/Crybaby Rep. John Boehner sobbed repeatedly, “He’s not the only adult in the room!!” and, “He’s not the boss of me!! He’s not the boss of me!!” as stunned colleagues pretended not to notice his boutade.
WASHINGTON D.C. — Petulant crybaby John Boehner, Rep. Nohio, threw a childish tantrum on the House floor Wednesday, when aides told him that President Obama was asking for a joint session of Congress the following Wednesday.
Flinging himself to the house floor, the Speaker began crying, thrashing about, and pulling his jacket off. The staff House Nanny arrived promptly, but struggled for several minutes with the little tyke in an attempt to get his jacket back on and escort him from the chamber.
“Not at all what we expect from our elected representatives,” offered Andrea Bustle, noted effete snob and House chamber dust arranger. “But this sort of behavior works to get the Republicans what they want, which is to make our president look weak to their barbarian base.”
“He’s a sick puppy,” said Arlen Fosterpimp, ex-curator of the Lesser of Two Weevils Political Bar & Grill, adding, “How effin’ ridiculous can these sumbitches get?? I need a frickin’ job! And he needs to be sent to his room with no supper… oh hell, what he really needs is a good spankin’ with a hickory switch— right before he loses his job.”