LUNA CITY, The Moon — In the Robert A. Heinlein science fiction novel, The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, the inhabitants of the first lunar colony are called “loonies,” and are, of course, mostly criminals and political exiles. The 1966 novel is far more realistic in its prediction of occurrence in the year 2075 than Ruler-of-Earth candidate and obese space narcissist Newt Gingrich‘s recent boast:
“By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon, and it will be American,” It will consist of “…commercial near-Earth activities that include science, tourism, and manufacturing, because it is in our interest.”
That’s right, 99 percenters, once Newterd Gingrich ushers in small government in his first term, his second term will put historian Newtless in the history books, and you’ll be able to tour the hydroponic wheat factory in Luna City on the Moon, USA! Think of it this way: It’ll be a great distraction from the continuing high unemployment rate, or our $1.2 trillion dollar deficit, your underwater mortgage, your bills, and your twelve month-plus job search, and Newt will not have spent a government red cent to help alleviate them.
But. We’ll have 34,000 criminals and political exiles on the moon. Now let’s get back to Newt. This Daily Show segment was an instant classic:
He really said this with a straight face:
“This is a campaign about the future of America [the Moon], and the future of the Republican party. Do you want an insider who’s part of the system, who’s been accepting huge amounts of taxpayer money [like from Freddie Mac] to prop up giant institutions? [or himself?] Or do you want someone who’s prepared to challenge that system head on and insist on very dramatic change in
Washington on the Moon?”
Yes, the Moon is a harsh mistress. And hound dog Newter knows a little something about mistresses: they have a way of dragging him down— and the sheer craziness of Newt’s Moon Mistress is going to drag this serial philanderer down the political drain, his grandiose girth notwithstanding. Buh-bye…