LIP SERVICE

 Posted by on May 31, 2013 at 6:06 AM
May 312013
 


Yes, she thinks you think she’s speaking extemporaneously; not reading off a teleprompter.

Never hesitate to admit failure. Make no attempt to hide failure under deceptive smiles and beaming optimism. It sounds well always to claim success, but the end results are appalling. Such a technique leads directly to the creation of a world of unreality and to the inevitable crash of ultimate disillusionment.
— The Urantia Book

STILLWATER, MN —  Resplendent in her foxy* deep blue silk jacket and cultured pearls, Michele Bachmann announced she will not seek another term in the United States Congress.

The Tea Party darling’s very long list of denials about why she is not leaving may become more credible, if and when the rumor we are accused of starting turns out to be true:  that she will be joining “Prancersize” inventor Joanna Rohrback‘s firm as its Presidential “Prancer” and Commander-in-Chief horsey:


Another unfortunate example of Camel Toe.  But all is not lost; watch with the volume off.

And speaking of prancing show horseys…  another angry beaver attacked a man on a roadside near Shestakovskoye lake, west of Minsk, Belarus, slicing through an artery in his leg which caused him to bleed to death.  It was the most recent in a string of angry beaver attacks in Belarus, where the beaver population has tripled in the past decade to around 80,000.  Belarusian beavers can weigh up to 65 pounds and stand three feet high.
Experts say the increase in attacks is largely due to springtime aggression in young beavers that are trying to make a name for themselves and stake out their own territory after being forced to leave home by their parents.  Some older beavers can also become disoriented in life and attack out of fear;  others become bitter and vengeful when faced with the inevitable crash of their ultimate disillusionment.
* Foxy I.e., Fauxy, Republican shemale drag

T_P_KI Wrote This.

Stirring the cosmic paint. Urantian first and last. Abide. Follow me on Twitter: @T_P_K

  2 Responses to “LIP SERVICE”

Comments (2)
  1.  

    I always knew there was a reason I never vacationed in Belarus. lol…Always a hoot.

    •  

      Sherry, beavers are our friends! Just don’t piss them off. ;-) (I have a fabulous walking stick that I stole from a beaver’s awesome dam in Ontario back in 1975. Some kind of insect borer had completely engraved it with trails, which the beaver had exposed by removing the bark, and then cutting the pole to the perfect size.)

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