What A Cool Extraterrestrial Alien Would Actually Say If One Made Contact With Us

SINCE EARTHLINGS LACK the means of expedient intergalactic travel, formal contact with extraterrestrial alien life from other worlds will necessarily be their choice. This implies they really have a reason for contacting us, since they could have made contact whenever they wanted. Maybe.

HOW DID HUMAN BEINGS GET HERE?

The appearance of mortal beings of “will dignity” is never an accident, anywhere in the entire universe.

Reincarnation: I Wanted To Come Back As A King, But. . .

If you are really going to get stuck in an endless round of successive incarnations as man or woman, some kind of beast, or a weed, you might as well come back as a nice Sativa-Indica hybrid, right?

Monster Mash-up

You’ve probably seen the 1934 “surgeon’s photo” of the “Lock Ness Monster. But have you realllly seen it?

EVOLUTION IS A MYTH, OR: RETROGRADE STUPID

One half the world is grasping eagerly for the light of truth and the facts of scientific discovery, while the other half languishes in the arms of ancient superstition and but thinly disguised magic.

LOADED IN THE WHITE ZONE

Honestly? Appliantologists f’n freak me out. But if they want to celebrate life, more power to them.

Racist Monkeys

It’s National Monkey Week, a few special days each year when we take our Homo Sapeins ego a little less seriously by contemplating our humble hairy origins as Primates.