What A Cool Extraterrestrial Alien Would Actually Say If One Made Contact With Us

SINCE EARTHLINGS LACK the means of expedient intergalactic travel, formal contact with extraterrestrial alien life from other worlds will necessarily be their choice. This implies they really have a reason for contacting us, since they could have made contact whenever they wanted. Maybe.

Etch A Sketch Drumpf (UPDATE)

As the GOP presidential campaign has unfolded, whatever light that the GOP might have once emitted has been sucked into the black hole at the center of the Bizarro universe where their evil twins reside. Those tremors in the Force you’ve been feeling of late is proof that the rupture between the two parallel worlds has already occurred, resulting in the time-space manifold between them being turned inside-out, expurgating their dopplegangers into our every day political reality