Having a Bad Friday?

Well. At least be grateful you don’t have to live in either one of these skulls.

And that you’re not the humanrrhoid Bill Kristol.

Or one of these doomed MoFos.

Or this guy.

Be thankful you’re not one of these ignoramuses.

And thank God you are not responsible for this.
(Yes those are cool-aid stains around her mouth; but that’s not what I’m talking about.)

Feeling any better yet?

Good. You’re more than welcome. Glad your day is improving!

Enjoy your weekend.

NEW ORLEANS— John McCain stammered his way through one of his more memorable speeches ever Tuesday night, but unfortunately it was memorable for the number of speaking miscues off the teleprompter, not the content. It was memorable for the forced, creepy smiles at the end of sentences that didn’t warrant them. Even his repetitious blinking was unnerving. And with more than twenty word fumbles through the course of this painfully long Geritol info-mercial, it was particularly telling that CNN felt it necessary to put a “HAPPENING NOW” tag directly over McCain’s right lung.

I knew the evening was going to go badly when the Phoney from Arizoney began by adding an extra syllable to “New Or-le-ans.” Bush’s constant mangling of “nu-cu-lar” sprang instantly to mind, and thus a speech designed to separate the two men joined at the fragile hip of John McCain was doomed to failure.

Then this mis-speak, only two and a half minutes in: “I believe that still; but we must rise the occasion as we always have.” Well, he didn’t “rise the occasion.” He sank, and he continued to sink until CNN cut away. But all was not lost. My favorite McBushism from the speech was this line: “The right change will stop impeding Americans from doing what they have always done, overcome every obstacle to our progress, turn challenges and opportunity into opportunities. . .”

Over-powered by what the press called the “Lime Green Monster,” the background from hell gave McCain a pallor only a cadaver could love. But with timing that could only have been arranged through divine providence, McCain dropped this turd-bomb bomb bomb right before one of the most historic speeches ever to be delivered in America, Barack Obama’s announcement to the world that a black and white man had turned an opportunity into an opportunity to run for president of the United States.

A venue tip to McCain’s advance people: Never— ever— choose a venue where the acoustics are such that one big-mouth supporter can rise teh occasion by drowning out the rest of the audience. Very creepy. And speaking of loudest. McCain drew his loudest applause when he read without error, “They might think me an imperfect servant of our country, which I surely am; but I am her servant, first, last, and always.” Great.

But we don’t need another “servant” in the white house. We need a leader.

WASHINGTON — John McCain defended his plan for veterans’ college benefits Monday, as both he, and Barack Obama spoke to veterans on Memorial Day. Hillary Clinton campaigned Monday in Puerto Rico. Obama and McCain have sparred from a distance recently over the bill, sometimes with what the MSM calls “heated words.”

In his comments on Memorial Day, McCain did not mention Obama by name, such a clever fellow, but it was clear he was talking Obama. McCain said his was the right position rather than “the politically expedient one,” suggesting Obama was on the wrong side of the Jim Webb bill, which passed the senate last week. The bill will substantially increase educational benefits for service members. A more limited version that McCain had supported, was blocked.

McCain: “I am running for the office of commander in chief. That is the highest privilege in this country, and it imposes the greatest responsibilities. And this is why I am committed to our bill, despite the support Senator Webb’s bill has received. It would be easier, much easier politically for me to have joined Senator Webb in offering his legislation.”

Umm. . . So you support your own bill because you’re “running for the office of commander in chief”?? You can’t join with the twenty-five members of your own party and support the Webb bill because— it’s not yours?? Isn’t this the same moronic partisan-think that has created the most polarized government in our history?

Because McCain said Webb’s measure would give the same benefit to everyone regardless of how many times he or she has reenlisted. He said he feared that would depress reenlistments by those wanting to attend college after only a “few years in uniform.” McCain said the bill he favored would have increased scholarships based on length of service.

Now remember, McCain, despite his whoring around for fringe religionists like John Hagee and Rod Parsley, portrays himself as a conservative, mainstream, unbaptized Baptist. One must assume that somewhere along the way, he’s heard the parable of the vineyard workers. All but you heathens will recall, that’s the one where the vineyard owner hired workers at a denarius a day, or roughly $20 bucks; bottom line, it was a fair wage for a day’s work.

Anyway, the guy— let’s just call him Vino— goes out to the market for his morning cappuccino, and seeing laborers standing around, says, ” Go work in my vineyard, and I’ll pay you whatever is right.” And the same thing happens at lunchtime, and at three in the afternoon, and yep, again at five as well; and Vino, generous vintner that he is, gives them all the same offer.

But when the men who had been slogging grapes since nine in the morning saw these guys dragging in after five, they imagined they should get more than the promised denarius. But when Vino pays up, the bitching started: “These guys who were hired last worked only one stinkin’ hour, and yet you paid them the same as us, who have worked the entire day in the frakkin’ scorchin’ sun.”

But the Vino, stoked on his own juice, was ready for them. He says: “‘My friends, I’m not doin’ you wrong. Didn’t each of you agree to work a day for a Jackson? So take your Twenty and hit the road! It’s my business to give to those who came last just as much as I gave to you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my own money? Or do you begrudge my generosity because I desire to be good and to show mercy?”

Well, long story short, McCain doesn’t understand the common generosity of the American people’s wish to compensate our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines— those who step into harm’s way to defend our nation— with a decent educational opportunity wherewith they can become productive citizens with a good life like, ahem, the rest of us.

On Saturday Barack Obama told veterans while campaigning in Puerto Rico : “I don’t understand why John McCain would side with George Bush and oppose our plan to make college more affordable for our veterans. George Bush and John McCain may think our plan is too generous. I could not disagree more.”

McCain says: “I take a back seat to no one in my affection, respect, and devotion to veterans.” Well. A back seat to no one— besides the senators, congressmen and women, and citizens who stepped up to support the troops by paying them the Jackson they’ve earned whether they served little, or much. That’s generosity. That’s American.

Last week in a speech before Israel’s parliament, The Knesset, George W. Bush implied that Barack Obama was a terraist appeaser for his willingness to talk to evil doers like Iran and Syria. His foreign policy clones, John McSame and his Svengali adviser, Joe LIEberman immediately piled on, citing Barack’s inexperience and naiveté.

One has to wonder how they feel now that its been revealed that Israel is actively pursuing a peace agreement with Syria. And with Hamas, via the government of Egypt.

Or that Qatar has negotiated a deal between the government of Lebanon and the terraist Hizbollah to end its takeover of Beirut, on terms quite favorable to Hizbollah.

How about the vital role the government of Iran had in brokering a cease fire with the Shi’ites in the two month old explosion of violence in Basra and Sadr City in Iraq?  Not to mention its previous help in dislodging the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Then there’s the fact that the Bush Administration has negotiated an end to the nuclear weapons programs in of Libya and that charter member of the Axis of Evil, North Korea. And continues negotiations with Iran to reduce the overall level of violence in Iraq. Can you spell hypocrisy?

What are the war mongers to do, now? Well, they can always attack Iran before the election, capitalizing on the historical reluctance of the American people to change war horses in mid stream. Seemed to work in the 2004 elections.

I mean, wouldn’t you want an PTSD crazed experienced war hero like McSame, who did his level best to bomb the Vietnamese into the Stone Age, in the role of Commander in Chief? As opposed to, say, a wimp like Obama who thinks the willingness to talk is a sign of strength and not weakness?

To accept the Obama approach to foreign policy is to reject the neocons‘ glorious vision of the New American Century. How can the USA realize her manifest destiny to dominate the world (and its diminishing natural resources) during this unique unipolar moment in history if we allow other countries to play anything more than a supporting role in remaking that world in our own triumphant image?

To accept an Obama presidency would be a rejection of Biblical prophecy, at very best a delay in the apocalypse and the rapture! Wasn’t the US founded in part to destroy Islam, as John McCain’s (now rejected) “spiritual guide” Rod Parsley maintains ?

I’ll leave it the 20th century bard, Bob Dylan, to describe the moral and diplomatic bankruptcy of the last 7 1/2 years of the McSame approach to international diplomacy:

There’s no success like failure
and. . . failure is no success at all.

Back in the day in America, we lived in a free country. In America, you could, if you wanted to, rake up a bunch of leaves and burn them, if you felt like it. Or you could burn trash and garbage in your very own trash barrel. You could fire up a chain saw and cut down a tree on your property if you had the urge to. You could shoot a bird or a squirrel with a gun; you could buy fireworks, or other dangerous chemicals, and blow things up in the yard, at your leisure.

So you might well imagine when the press reported that on May 9th, an American soldier took a Quran— the “Holy Bible” of the Muslim religion— to a shooting range and used it for target practice, that many Americans just yawned. Or laughed. Or muttered self righteously, “Fuck yeah”— echoing the two words found written in English on the Quran that was used for target practice. After all, wasn’t that U.S. soldier just exercising his freedumb to do whatever the hell he pleased? Uh, no.

And that was not the public reaction of President George Bush. In a regularly scheduled phone conversation with Prime minister Niouri al-Malaki, Bush quickly apologized for the incident.

One Sunni Arab lawmaker said: “It is a dangerous case. We had been silent and accepted the killing of our sons, the destruction of our homes and the theft of our money, but we do not accept insults to the holy Quran,” he said at a news conference.

And there it is. It is one thing for the Iraqis to be understandably insulted, humiliated, and angered by such a stunt; but why is it more outrageous than all the senseless slaughter of innocent Iraqi men, women, and children during the seven year invasion and occupation of Iraq?

Perhaps their culture places more value on the Holy Quran than Americans might on the Holy Bible, if the circumstances were reversed. But ask yourself: what kind of man recognizes and apologizes for the childish insult against the Quran a little more than ten days after it happens, but has yet to say a public word about the deaths of untold hundreds of thousands of innocent human beings killed by our military and mercenary forces in Iraq??

There are good reasons why we as free Americans have evolved in our understanding of what constitutes the exercise of moral and ethically-sound freedom. Communities recognized that the freedom of every citizen to burn plastic and other garbage would produce enough toxic smoke and air pollution to quickly make their little slice of heaven uninhabitable. So too, the freedom to discharge a firearm whenever you wanted to get rid of a rodent in the yard, or let your child blow their hands off with dangerous fireworks.

Sound morals and ethics are essential to the responsible exercise of freedom— freedom that respects the rights of every human being. But the sacredness of every single human life cannot compare with the ignorant and thoughtless destruction of a religious symbol, even if it contains the revelatory word of God. Our Creator wants each of us to LIVE the truth; not treat it as a sacred symbol that is more important than the gift of life itself.

Speaking in Israel in conjunction with the 60th anniversary of the state of Israel at the “Facing Tomorrow” presidential conference, George Bush once again embarrassed himself, Pickles, and our nation:

“We believe that the surest way— ta defeat the enemies of hatred—[sic] is to advance the cause of hope— ta the cause of freedom— liberdy—[sic] as the great alternative to tire-ranny, [sic] and tearr.” [sic]

Excuse me? Aren’t WE— the United States— ostensibly the “enemies of hatred”? Does anyone with a lick of grammatical acuity vet this imbecile’s speeches?

Bush’s mangled speech was preceded by the obsequious comments of Israeli Prime minister Ehud Olmert, himself on the verge of being indicted for receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars from wealthy American Moshe (Morris) Talansky, who praised Bush as a “great leader” and a “source of inspiration,” and sounded eerily like Arnold Swarzenegger. Other guests at the “Facing Tomorrow” conference included former British prime minister Tony Blair, media mogul Rupert Murdoch, Google founder Sergey Brinn, and Facebook’s Mark Zuckerman.

Although Bush will meet with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas and Prime Minister Salam Fayyad in the Egyptian Red Sea resort of Sharm al-Sheikh on Saturday and Sunday, he never once bothered to mention the Israeli-Palestinian peace negotiations which have been on a seven year “pause.” I’m so surprised.