The Apostle Matthew Levi

 Posted by on December 9, 2012 at 8:10 AM
Dec 092012
 

MATTHEW LEVI  •  Terry Kruger

Jesus the Son of God was a man among men, and the men closest to him were twelve diverse, unique personalities of that day.  The Bible and apocrypha contain scant few historical insights concerning these men;  until the appearance of The Urantia Book in 1955, almost nothing was known about their personal natures, not excepting in some cases even their actual names.

This is the seventh of those apostolic accounts from The Urantia Book.  —ED.

 

Matthew, the seventh apostle, was chosen by Andrew.  Matthew belonged to a family of tax gatherers, or publicans, but was himself a customs collector in Capernaum, where he lived. He was thirty-one years old and married and had four children. He was a man of moderate wealth, the only one of any means belonging to the apostolic corps. He was a good business man, a good social mixer, and was gifted with the ability to make friends and to get along smoothly with a great variety of people.

Andrew appointed Matthew the financial representative of the apostles.  In a way he was the fiscal agent and publicity spokesman for the apostolic organization.  He was a keen judge of human nature and a very efficient propagandist.  His is a personality difficult to visualize, but he was a very earnest disciple and an increasing believer in the mission of Jesus and in the certainty of the kingdom. Jesus never gave Levi a nickname, but his fellow apostles commonly referred to him as the “money-getter.”

Levi’s strong point was his wholehearted devotion to the cause. That he, a publican, had been taken in by Jesus and his apostles was the cause for overwhelming gratitude on the part of the former revenue collector.  However, it required some little time for the rest of the apostles, especially Simon Zelotes and Judas Iscariot, to become reconciled to the publican’s presence in their midst.  Matthew’s weakness was his shortsighted and materialistic viewpoint of life.  But in all these matters he made great progress as the months went by.  He, of course, had to be absent from many of the most precious seasons of instruction as it was his duty to keep the treasury replenished.

It was the Master’s forgiving disposition which Matthew most appreciated.  He would never cease to recount that faith only was necessary in the business of finding God.  He always liked to speak of the kingdom as “this business of finding God.”

Though Matthew was a man with a past, he gave an excellent account of himself, and as time went on, his associates became proud of the publican’s performances.  He was one of the apostles who made extensive notes on the sayings of Jesus, and these notes were used as the basis of Isador’s subsequent narrative of the sayings and doings of Jesus, which has become known as the Gospel according to Matthew.

The great and useful life of Matthew, the business man and customs collector of Capernaum, has been the means of leading thousands upon thousands of other business men, public officials, and politicians, down through the subsequent ages, also to hear that engaging voice of the Master saying, “Follow me.”  Matthew really was a shrewd politician, but he was intensely loyal to Jesus and supremely devoted to the task of seeing that the messengers of the coming kingdom were adequately financed.

The presence of Matthew among the twelve was the means of keeping the doors of the kingdom wide open to hosts of downhearted and outcast souls who had regarded themselves as long since without the bounds of religious consolation.  Outcast and despairing men and women flocked to hear Jesus, and he never turned one away.

Matthew received freely tendered offerings from believing disciples and the immediate auditors of the Master’s teachings, but he never openly solicited funds from the multitudes.  He did all his financial work in a quiet and personal way and raised most of the money among the more substantial class of interested believers.  He gave practically the whole of his modest fortune to the work of the Master and his apostles, but they never knew of this generosity, save Jesus, who knew all about it.  Matthew hesitated openly to contribute to the apostolic funds for fear that Jesus and his associates might regard his money as being tainted;  so he gave much in the names of other believers.  During the earlier months, when Matthew knew his presence among them was more or less of a trial, he was strongly tempted to let them know that his funds often supplied them with their daily bread, but he did not yield.  When evidence of the disdain of the publican would become manifest, Levi would burn to reveal to them his generosity, but always he managed to keep still.

When the funds for the week were short of the estimated requirements, Levi would often draw heavily upon his own personal resources.  Also, sometimes when he became greatly interested in Jesus’ teaching, he preferred to remain and hear the instruction, even though he knew he must personally make up for his failure to solicit the necessary funds.  But Levi did so wish that Jesus might know that much of the money came from his pocket!  He little realized that the Master knew all about it.  The apostles all died without knowing that Matthew was their benefactor to such an extent that, when he went forth to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom after the beginning of the persecutions, he was practically penniless.

When these persecutions caused the believers to forsake Jerusalem, Matthew journeyed north, preaching the gospel of the kingdom and baptizing believers.  He was lost to the knowledge of his former apostolic associates, but on he went, preaching and baptizing, through Syria, Cappadocia, Galatia, Bithynia, and Thrace.  And it was in Thrace, at Lysimachia, that certain unbelieving Jews conspired with the Roman soldiers to encompass his death.  And this regenerated publican died triumphant in the faith of a salvation he had so surely learned from the teachings of the Master during his recent sojourn on earth.

 

 

The Apostle Simon Zelotes: Simon The Zealot

 Posted by on November 25, 2012 at 7:27 PM
Nov 252012
 

Simon Zelotes   •   Terry Kruger
(After John Eastham’s portrayal of “Bartholomew” in Zeffirelli’s, “Jesus of Nazareth.”)

Jesus the Son of God was a man among men, and the men closest to him were twelve diverse, unique personalities of that day.  The Bible and apocrypha contain scant few historical insights concerning these men;  until the appearance of The Urantia Book in 1955, nothing was known about their personal natures, not excepting in some cases even their actual names.

Such is the case with Simon Zelotes, who is virtually unknown, yet the subject of many traditional beliefs, among them that he was crucified in Samaria, died peacefully at Edessa, was martyred at Weriosphora in Caucasian Iberia, and was sawn in half at Suanir, Persia.  The most widespread tradition is that after evangelizing in Egypt, Simon joined Jude¹ in Persia and Armenia or Beirut, Lebanon, where both were martyred in 65 AD.

The Urantia Book remarks Simon Zelotes was a high officer in the patriotic organization of the Zealots, a position which he gave up to join Jesus’ apostles.

There are far too many extraordinary things revealed in The Urantia Book to rank them on any scale of importance.  But in the small apocrypha surrounding the Fifth Epochal Revelation, it has been said that Dr. William Sadler, a key figure in the eventual appearance of the book in print, supposedly remained a skeptic of the Papers until he read the profiles of the twelve apostles in Part IV.  As a psychiatrist, he had a well developed sense of personality types and traits;  he perceived these accounts were genuine recitations of real personalities;  not fiction.

This is the eleventh of those apostolic accounts.  —ED.

Simon Zelotes, the eleventh apostle, was chosen by Simon Peter. He was an able man of good ancestry and lived with his family at Capernaum. He was twenty-eight years old when he became attached to the apostles. He was a fiery agitator and was also a man who spoke much without thinking. He had been a merchant in Capernaum before he turned his entire attention to the patriotic organization of the Zealots.

Simon Zelotes was given charge of the diversions and relaxation of the apostolic group, and he was a very efficient organizer of the play life and recreational activities of the twelve.

Simon’s strength was his inspirational loyalty. When the apostles found a man or woman who floundered in indecision about entering the kingdom, they would send for Simon. It usually required only about fifteen minutes for this enthusiastic advocate of salvation through faith in God to settle all doubts and remove all indecision, to see a new soul born into the “liberty of faith and the joy of salvation.”

Simon’s great weakness was his material-mindedness. He could not quickly change himself from a Jewish nationalist to a spiritually minded internationalist. Four years was too short a time to make such an intellectual and emotional transformation, but Jesus was always patient with him.

The one thing about Jesus which Simon so admired was the Master’s calmness, his assurance, poise, and inexplicable composure.

Although Simon was a rabid revolutionist, a fearless firebrand of agitation, he gradually subdued his fiery nature until he became a powerful and effective preacher of “Peace on earth and good will among men.”  Simon was a great debater; he did like to argue. and when it came to dealing with the legalistic minds of the educated Jews or the intellectual quibblings of the Greeks, the task was always assigned to Simon.

He was a rebel by nature and an iconoclast by training, but Jesus won him for the higher concepts of the kingdom of heaven.He had always identified himself with the party of protest, but he now joined the party of progress, unlimited and eternal progression of spirit and truth. Simon was a man of intense loyalties and warm personal devotions, and he did profoundly love Jesus.

Jesus was not afraid to identify himself with business men, laboring men, optimists, pessimists, philosophers, skeptics, publicans, politicians, and patriots.

The master had many talks with Simon, but he never fully succeeded in making an internationalist out of this ardent Jewish nationalist. Jesus often told Simon that it was proper to want to see the social, economic, and political orders improved, but he would always add: “That is not the business of the kingdom of heaven. We must be dedicated to the doing of the Father’s will. Our business is to be ambassadors of a spiritual government on high, and we must not immediately concern ourselves with aught but the representation of the will and character of the divine Father who stands at the head of the government whose credentials we bear.” It was all difficult for Simon to comprehend, but gradually he began to grasp something of the meaning of the Master’s teaching.

After the dispersion because of the Jerusalem persecutions, Simon went into temporary retirement. He was literally crushed. As a nationalist patriot he had surrendered in deference to Jesus’ teachings; now all was lost. He was in despair, but in a few years he rallied his hopes and went forth to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom.

He went to Alexandria and, after working up the Nile, penetrated into the heart of Africa, everywhere preaching the gospel of Jesus and baptizing believers. Thus he labored until he was an old man and feeble. And he died and was buried in the heart of Africa.

Toward the end of the Last Supper, Jesus said good-bye individually to his apostles;  as the Master went around the table talking to them, each of them rose when Jesus addressed them.  Jesus came to Simon Zelotes, who stood up and listened to this admonition:

 “You are a true son of Abraham, but what a time I have had trying to make you a son of this heavenly kingdom. I love you and so do all of your brethren. I know that you love me, Simon, and that you also love the kingdom, but you are still set on making this kingdom come according to your liking. I know full well that you will eventually grasp the spiritual nature and meaning of my gospel, and that you will do valiant work in its proclamation, but I am distressed about what may happen to you when I depart. I would rejoice to know that you would not falter; I would be made happy if I could know that, after I go to the Father, you would not cease to be my apostle, and that you would acceptably deport yourself as an ambassador of the heavenly kingdom.”

Jesus had hardly ceased speaking to Simon Zelotes when the fiery patriot, drying his eyes, replied: “Master, have no fears for my loyalty. I have turned my back upon everything that I might dedicate my life to the establishment of your kingdom on earth, and I will not falter. I have survived every disappointment so far, and I will not forsake you.”

And then, laying his hand on Simon’s shoulder, Jesus said: “It is indeed refreshing to hear you talk like that, especially at such a time as this, but, my good friend, you still do not know what you are talking about. Not for one moment would I doubt your loyalty, your devotion; I know you would not hesitate to go forth in battle and die for me, as all these others would” (and they all nodded a vigorous approval), “but that will not be required of you. I have repeatedly told you that my kingdom is not of this world, and that my disciples will not fight to effect its establishment. I have told you this many times, Simon, but you refuse to face the truth. I am not concerned with your loyalty to me and to the kingdom, but what will you do when I go away and you at last wake up to the realization that you have failed to grasp the meaning of my teaching, and that you must adjust your misconceptions to the reality of another and spiritual order of affairs in the kingdom?”

Simon wanted to speak further, but Jesus raised his hand and, stopping him, went on to say: “None of my apostles are more sincere and honest at heart than you, but not one of them will be so upset and disheartened as you, after my departure.  In all of your discouragement my spirit shall abide with you, and these, your brethren, will not forsake you.  Do not forget what I have taught you regarding the relation of citizenship on earth to sonship in the Father’s spiritual kingdom.  Ponder well all that I have said to you about rendering to Caesar the things which are Caesar’s and to God that which is God’s.  Dedicate your life, Simon, to showing how acceptably mortal man may fulfill my injunction concerning the simultaneous recognition of temporal duty to civil powers and spiritual service in the brotherhood of the kingdom.  If you will be taught by the Spirit of Truth, never will there be conflict between the requirements of citizenship on earth and sonship in heaven unless the temporal rulers presume to require of you the homage and worship which belong only to God.”

And now, Simon, when you do finally see all of this, and after you have shaken off your depression and have gone forth proclaiming this gospel in great power, never forget that I was with you even through all of your season of discouragement, and that I will go on with you to the very end.  You shall always be my apostle, and after you become willing to see by the eye of the spirit and more fully to yield your will to the will of the Father in heaven, then will you return to labor as my ambassador, and no one shall take away from you the authority which I have conferred upon you, because of your slowness of comprehending the truths I have taught you.  And so, Simon, once more I warn you that they who fight with the sword perish with the sword, while they who labor in the spirit achieve life everlasting in the kingdom to come with joy and peace in the kingdom which now is.  And when the work given into your hands is finished on earth, you, Simon, shall sit down with me in my kingdom over there.  You shall really see the kingdom you have longed for, but not in this life.  Continue to believe in me and in that which I have revealed to you, and you shall receive the gift of eternal life.”

One other excerpt regarding Simon Zelotes gives some idea of how entrenched he was in his thinking. This event took place just a few hours after the admonition above, and approximately one hour before the betrayal in the garden by Judas Iscariot:

The apostles fell asleep only because they were literally exhausted; they had been running short on sleep ever since their arrival in Jerusalem. Before they went to their separate sleeping quarters, Simon Zelotes led them all over to his tent, where were stored the swords and other arms, and supplied each of them with this fighting equipment. All of them received these arms and girded themselves therewith except Nathaniel.

Nathaniel, in refusing to arm himself, said: “My brethren, the Master has repeatedly told us that his kingdom is not of this world, and that his disciples should not fight with the sword to bring about its establishment. I believe this; I do not think the Master needs to have us employ the sword in his defense. We have all seen his mighty power and know that he could defend himself against his enemies if he so desired. If he will not resist his enemies, it must be that such a course represents his attempt to fulfill his Father’s will. I will pray, but I will not wield the sword.” When Andrew heard Nathaniel’s speech, he handed his sword back to Simon Zelotes. And so nine of them were armed as they separated for the night.

¹ Jesus had a brother named Jude, but in The Urantia Book there was no apostle with that name.

Irreligiousness-ness

 Posted by on October 16, 2010 at 12:07 PM
Oct 162010
 

Yeah, it’s a damned short bus, but it’s a totally rad ride; might as well learn to enjoy it with a genuinely religious philosophy of living.


Amarnath Amarasingam Amarnath Amarasingam

In a recent article published in Sociology of Religion, sociologists Neil Gross and Solon Simmons use data from a new, nationally representative survey of American college and university professors to test the long-running assumption that higher education leads to irreligiousness. Based on their research, they argue that “while atheism and agnosticism are much more common among professors than within the U.S. population as a whole, religious skepticism represents a minority position, even among professors teaching at elite research universities.” This has been a long-running debate amongst those who study religiosity in higher education and pay attention to trends in societal secularization.

“…the evidence seems to suggest that instead of leaving religion behind, the intelligentsia, like the rest of society, rationally wrestle with ideas, scientific and religious, and attempt to find answers to the big questions that plague us all.” —A. A.

How do these numbers break down by discipline? Gross and Simmons explore how belief in God is distributed among the 20 largest disciplinary fields. In terms of atheists, professors of psychology and mechanical engineering lead the pack with 50 percent and 44.1 percent respectively. Amongst biologists, 33.3 percent were agnostic and 27.5 percent were atheist. Interestingly, 21.6 percent of biologists say that they have no doubt that God exists.

In contrast, 63 percent of accounting professors, 56.8 percent of elementary education professors, 48.6 percent of finance professors, 46.5 percent of marketing professors, 45 percent of art professors, and 44.4 percent of both nursing professors and criminal justice professors stated that they know God exists.

Holy effin’ balance sheets!  “Accounting professors” kicking the asses off “art professors” when it comes to knowing God?!?  Who knew.  Disturbing, really, that creative types are having a harder time discovering the source of all truth, beauty, and goodness than those who revere the work of the Master Mathematician.  But then, that may help explain a whole lot of meaningless art being cranked out at the university level these days.

Gross and Simmons also attempted to discover the proportion of professors who think of themselves as religiously progressive, moderate, or traditional. They found that professors in the social sciences and humanities are more than twice as likely identify themselves as religiously progressive (32.5 percent and 35 percent, respectively), while a larger number of physical and biological scientists see themselves as moderate (32.2 percent) as opposed to progressive or traditionalist.

Despite whether professors are progressives, moderates or traditionalists, most all of us still tend to crystallize our science, formulate our philosophy, and dogmatize the truth— because, well, we’re just mentally lazy in coming to grips with the progressive struggles of living.  And when you get right down to it:  Continue reading »

EVOLUTION IS A MYTH

 Posted by on September 27, 2010 at 12:01 PM
Sep 272010
 

With a firm grip on her huge banana, Christine sucked on a camel and wondered out loud in her mind if mice with fully functioning human brains would even give her the time of day. . .

. . .Christine is pondering about something far away, when she had been a tiny girl monkey, and she had seen an appearance of the Virgin Mary as a tea cup.  She had been in the woods, not too far from the Father’s house.  In fact she was close enough to see the house.  She had been out by the side of the road, daydreaming about mice, when the Virgin erupted into her tiny girl monkey mind;  only she was a tea cup, not a woman.  Later, Christine decided that this was a sign.

The Tea Cup Virgin had told Christine that prayers were a lot like ideas— but if they just stayed inside her head, they may never come out into the real world and become actual.  The Virgin suggested that Christine imagine what it was she wanted.  Imagine her ideas were getting on a little train, and pretend the train was going straight up to the Father and the Son, but especially the Holy Ghost.  The Virgin told Christine all three of them were way up above the house— way up in the air somewhere— The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

So Christine let her eyes roll back, and she Continue reading »

When Your Dogma Runs Over Your Karma

 Posted by on August 10, 2010 at 9:53 AM
Aug 102010
 

Mud thou art, and to mud shall thou return.

Christopher Hitchens is an atheist dogmatist. For all his witty brilliance, he hasn’t figured out that only an unqualified reality— an absolute— could dare to be as consistently dogmatic as he is.  And he certainly isn’t an absolute reality.

Yes, he can intellectually deny God— and still be morally good, loyal, filial, honest, even idealistic.  Anybody may graft many purely humanistic branches onto their basic spiritual nature and thus apparently prove their contentions in behalf of a godless existence, but in that kind of experience only social fruits are forthcoming;  not spiritual.  It’s the graft that determines the nature of the fruit, even though the living sustenance is continually drawn from the roots of an original divine endowment of both mind and spirit.

Many God-knowing individuals aren’t blind to the difficulties or unmindful of the obstacles which stand in the way of finding God in the maze of superstition, traditional backwardness, and materialistic/atheistic tendencies of our times.  They have encountered all these deterrents and surmounted them by living faith, and attained the highlands of spiritual experience in spite of all of them.

It’s true that many who are inwardly sure about God fear to assert such feelings of certainty because of the multiplicity and cleverness of people like Hitchens, who assemble objections and magnify difficulties about believing in God.  It actually requires no great depth of intellect to pick flaws or raise objections. But it does require brilliance of mind to solve these difficulties;  it’s too bad he no longer has the time to do just that.


If the nonreligious approaches to cosmic reality presume to challenge the certainty of faith on the grounds of its unproved status, then the spirit experiencer can likewise resort to the dogmatic challenge of the facts of science and the beliefs of philosophy on the grounds that they are likewise unproved; they are likewise experiences in the consciousness of the scientist or the philosopher.

Of God, the most inescapable of all presences, the most real of all facts, the most living of all truths, the most loving of all friends, and the most divine of all values, we have the right to be the most certain of all universe experiences.
—The Urantia Book

GOD Acts Out Again

 Posted by on May 4, 2010 at 12:55 PM
May 042010
 

The wrathful God of Ezekiel and Isaiah receives some well-deserved toadying from a grateful Mark Miner, spokesman for Texas Governor Rick Perry. Miner supplicated himself before the angry monarch on the Governor’s behalf, in recognition of God’s recent horrific oil rig explosion in the Gulf of Mexico.

“Behold, the day of the Lord cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger… and a whole lotta sweet crude.”
— Isaiah 13:9

HuffPo:

Texas Governor Rick Perry (R) claimed on Monday that the oil rig explosion that caused a massive — and still-expanding spill — may have been “just an act of God” that could not have been prevented.

Which is exactly what secular Christian propagandist Rush Limbaugh means when he calls it a “natural” disaster. Just like the chain reaction that occurs in, say, a nuclear bomb detonation is a natural reaction.

Speaking at a conference sponsored by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Perry offered his theory to a reporter who asked if events such as the recent West Virginia mine disaster, the financial meltdown or the BP oil spill may have been encouraged by too much emphasis on free enterprise and lax regulations.

Perry disagreed wholeheartedly:

“We don’t know what the event [was] that has allowed for this massive oil to be released,” Perry said. “And until we know that, I hope we don’t see a knee-jerk reaction across this country that says we’re going to shut down drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, because the cost to this country will be staggering.”

Even though the cost to this country of the drilling responsible for the impending and escalating ecological disaster will prove to be even more “staggering.”

As many have pointed out, however, BP has adamantly opposed expansion of industry oversight, and, perhaps most notoriously failed to install a shut-off switch that might have helped mitigate the crisis.

But of course, before the afternoon was out, Perry’s staff was busy sweeping his stupidity back under the carpet:

The Dallas Morning News reported:

The governor’s staff says Perry was not insisting that an “act of God” caused the spill. (He later said that he suspects a “mechanical failure” is the cause.) Perry aides say that he was simply making the point that it is too early to blame BP PLC, which leased the rig that was drilling the well.

“Your wrathfulness, the Governor would like to apologize in advance for having to deny giving you credit for the BP rig explosion;  I hope you understand.”

The eternal God is incapable of wrath and anger in the sense of these human emotions and as man understands such reactions. These sentiments are mean and despicable; they are hardly worthy of being called human, much less divine; and such attitudes are utterly foreign to the perfect nature and gracious character of the Universal Father.
The Urantia Book

LOADED IN THE WHITE ZONE

 Posted by on December 12, 2009 at 6:06 AM
Dec 122009
 

Appliantology GroupHonestly?  Appliantologists f’n freak me out. But if they want to celebrate Zappadan, more power to them. Gettin loaded from lft: L. Ron Hoover, Sy Borg, Bick, John Revolta, Tom Krewz, Gionova Ribsissi, Bodhi Dwarfman.
If you want to smell their toast, you must click it.

*

“How about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy
asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join
the master race. How’s that for a religion?”

Frank Zappa,  to a concert audience at the Rockpile, Toronto, May 1969

I LIKE TOAST.  Well, no— I love toast.  But I’m not a “toaster head.” You know—  a little kitchen machinery that you plop a little— or a lot of dough into its metal slit, charge it with some electric mystery mojo, and up pops some half-toasted nonsense about life that is an insult to your meager cosmological coherency.

Frank Zappa leveled some stinging musical satire at The First Church of Appliantology, and never demonstrated much reluctance to share his opinions on churches, politicians, and other self-appointed interpreters of moral turpitude. (Robert Novak, you’re dead now, so stfu.)  The few comments below by Frank, giving over the years here and there, aren’t infallible truths set into stone tablets that are kept in a vault in one of the better neighborhoods of Encino;  they’re just some things he felt and believed. I agree with some of them, and disagree with others, and like him, I’m not shy about spewing my opinions around like creamed corn. . .

*

I LIKE TOAST.**

“Information doesn’t kill you.”
Frank Zappa, at the Senate Hearing on “Porn Rock”, 1985 during an
exchange with a Born Again Christian

YYYeah, 1984 was still in the air. Reagan told us: It’s morning in America, suckers; better wake the fuck up.

**

“Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit
with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.”

Frank Zappa, Senate Hearing on “Porn Rock”, 1985, after being asked by
Tipper Gore if there was anything on TV he didn’t allow his kids to watch

Bwaaahaaahaahaahhaaha.

**

“There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful,
that it’s going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.”

Frank Zappa

Upon hearing it, or any other time.  In fact, there is no “lake of fire.”  Just a ridiculous fable that must die a painful and swift death.

**

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The
fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All
the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on.
You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth
shut and hadn’t asked any questions.”

Frank Zappa, Interview, Playboy, May 2, 1993

The “essence of Christianity” is not the fabled story of the Garden of Eden; but Frank gets big points for having a bullshit detector in fine working order. The teachings of Jesus are the “essence of Christianity,” and he distilled them into one, simple rule: Do unto others what you would have them do unto you— and on another occasion, two commandments— “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength”;  and the second is like the first:  “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

It doesn’t take a musical genius to understand and expose the discredited and outworn mythology surrounding the historical Adam and Eve. Figure it out.  Humans today can’t tell a simple story the same way two weeks running; why does anyone believe that before there was printing, mankind was able to preserve the truth of the Adamic Story for over 37,000 years?

Some days it pisses me off that much of intelligent, clear-thinking contemporary society remains so abysmally ignorant regarding the origins of our planet, of life, of the Universe, of the world of spirit; of the real Adam and Eve; of Jesus Christ, of the Divine.  But the truth is crazy simple: no one can make you do your epistemological home work but you. Consequently, if the growing cultural disaster is to be avoided, certain economic adjustments and social changes are imperative. Or you can start Here.

fz_valley

“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is:
Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”

Frank Zappa

Yes, and no.  No, because  “Information doesn’t kill you.” Yes, because the wrong information can get you pretty fucked up; e.g.,__________ (Insert congressional Republican of your choice.) It’s pretty clear that most Judeo-Christian churches— not to mention all others— have serious and varying amounts of erroneous and outdated information circulating like poison through their dogma, the killer of all truth, and they are crumbling before the onslaught of Science and the increasing love of truth aside the observation of fact.  The task for any parent then— and child alike— is learning to tell good from bad, right from wrong, truth from error.

**

“Anybody hear the great news, today? Jimmy Swaggart under investigation! Oh Ja-eezus! One day every one of those cocksuckers will get caught! I understand in the case of Mr. Swaggart, that he claims that it was not multiple encounters with many prostitutes — apparently, only one sweet young thing. And he did tell Cal Thomas of the Moral Majority that the sex act itself was not fully consummated. However he did admit to doing something por-no-graphic with the girl. Let’s use our imaginations, ladies and gentlemen.
Frank Zappa, opening remarks to “Stink Foot” at the Make A Jazz Noise

Not gonna do it.

**

“Barry, there is no hell. There is only France.”
Frank Zappa, You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore

See?  No Hell;  just France.

**

“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your
mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV
telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT.”

Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book

Well, there it is. Following the wrong information “can get you pretty fucked up.”  And trust me on this:  We are the architects of our own destiny. Take it by the horns, Cleetus.  You will get just what you bargain for, sooner or later.

**

“The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it
doesn’t, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I
release it. If somebody else likes it, that’s a bonus.”

Frank Zappa, interview, Playboy, May 2, 1993

The crux of a bisquit. . . enjoyment. . . or poot vapor. 

Bonus!

**Zappa SmokeFrank Zappa dreamt up the XQJ-37 Nuclear-Powered Pansexual Roto-Plooker.