Turn Out The Lights. . .

 Posted by on February 16, 2014 at 11:17 AM
Feb 162014
 

 

BachmannInWonderland

The Tea Party is over.

It’s just that they will never know it.

 

Death Panels Redux

 Posted by on March 22, 2013 at 7:34 AM
Mar 222013
 

Bachmann's Wingnut Parade

Fresh from earning four Pinocchios for claiming at CPAC that the Obama presidency spends $1.4-billion on “perks and excess,” perennial wingnut Michelle Bachmann took to the House floor Thursday on the third anniversary of Obamacare to plead, once again, for its repeal.

Echoing the claim by her sister wingnut Sarah Palin that the original Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act set up “death panels” (via a provision for voluntary counseling on living wills, advance directives, and end-of-life care options),  Bachmann warned:

“That’s why we’re here: Because we’re saying let’s repeal this failure before it literally kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens. Let’s not do that. Let’s love people. Let’s care about people. Let’s repeal it now while we can.”

While it wasn’t clear how she imagines such slaughter will ensue, there were studies in 2010 that showed that without coverage for the then 48.6 million uninsured, some 22,000 otherwise preventable deaths would occur.

You’d think that someone with a law degree from Oral Roberts University could provide a little substantiation for her wild claims every now and then. What do they teach there, anyway?

Tin Foiled Again (Update)

 Posted by on October 6, 2012 at 6:10 PM
Oct 062012
 

Three GOP Stooges, from left to right, Steve Forbes, Jack Welsh, Allen West, see Signs of an Obama conspiracy emanating from Der Tube

Sasquatch might as well have traipsed across the White House lawn Friday with a lost Warren Commission file on his way to the studio where NASA staged the moon landing. – Yahoo News

In the wake of a laughable GOP convention and an uplifting Democratic one, followed closely by the devastating disclosure of the Romney 47% moocher vid, polls showed Obama opening up a significant lead over Romney in the swing states, with favorable down-ticket results for the Democratic senate candidates as well.

This gave rise to the skewed polls conspiracy in which Wingers howled about a cabal of biased poll takers and librul media-ites working overtime to discourage Republican voters from showing up to vote.  As if their overwhelming hatred of President Blackenstein (h/t Bill Maher) wasn’t motivation enough.

The angry peasant mob hadn’t even made it to the White House Castle gates to vent their latest outrage when they were hit by yet another thunderstorm of cognitive dissonance, the September job numbers.  What the rest of the country welcomed as much needed rain during a long economic drought, the Wingers saw as a devastating flood that swept away one of their major talking points— unemployment over 8% during the entirety of the Obama Administration, proof that that Obama’s 2008 campaign pledge to lower the rate below 8% was as bogus as his current proposals and promises.

Now, there is always a certain amount of fluctuation in the final numbers of most economic metrics, such as GDP, which routinely undergoes two modifications after initial estimates are made. The uncertainty in estimating unemployment numbers is reflected in the divergent numbers provided by the two main data sets used for their calculation—monthly polling by the Bureau of Labor Statistics of some 50,000 households, the Household Data survey; and numbers provided by a list of employers, the Establishment Data survey. The Household Survey showed that for September “Total employment rose by 873,000″; and the Establishment Data showed “Total nonfarm payroll employment increased by 114,000.” (Employment Situation News Release, October 5, 2012,  Bureau of Labor Statistics)

The smaller number in the Establishment Data is likely due to the fact that during an economic recovery, new employers are missed in monthly surveys that coincide with accelerations in the rate of recovery.  This was the case in September, which more fully accounted for rises in the July and August numbers.  Similarly, the slowdown in GDP in the second quarter caused a downward revision in the employment numbers for those months.  In general, underestimations are more common in uptrends, overestimations more common in downtrends, because of the inherent time lag factor. All of which creates an unavoidable, structural margin of error that necessitates subsequent revisions.

The spread between last month’s rate of 8.1% and this month’s 7.8% can thus be explained without resorting to wild conspiracy theories.  But in the GOP zeitgeist, the imagined presence of sinister Democratic plots plays into the larger narrative of Winger victimhood. How else to explain that despite their imagined superiority they don’t have total control of the US government?  And why current polls shows them to be the losers that they are?

That September’s unemployment number came in under 8% is proof of a diabolically engineered October Surprise, a deliberate manipulation of BLS data whose minions are acting on the orders of Obama’s re-election machine, identified by former GE Chairman Jack Welch in a tweet as ”these Chicago guys.” Asked by Chris Matthews whether he had any proof, Welch admitted he had none, and insisted he wouldn’t change a single word of his tweet.

That didn’t stop other GOPers like former presidential candidate and Welch fellow plutocrat, Steve Forbes, from jumping into Teh Crazy pool. They were joined by right wing whackos like radio squawk host Laura Ingraham; Teabagger inspiration and CNBC reporter Rick Santelli; Michelle Bachmann‘s male counterpart in the House of Representatives,  Allen West, and of course Fux News’ leading conspiracy monger, Eric Bolling and Fux’s chief business host, Stuart Varney. (For a sampling of conspiracy tweets, see Media Matters’ compilation, and TPM’s tevee compilation.)

Prior to the conspiratorialists’ hijacking of the debate, the GOPers explained that the decrease in the unemployment rate is due to a number of factors;  an increase in part-timers (often a preliminary to full time employment); lazy people content to live off “free stuff,” like unemployment insurance;  and people who have simply given up because the economic outlook is perceived as being so dismal. (Never do we hear from the Willardites, or the MSM for that matter, about the 7,600 Baby Boomers who turn 60 every day, the traditional retirement age, but are still counted as individuals no longer looking for work.)

But the tin foil hat crew, aka Job Truthers, has broken new ground.  Conn Carroll, the Washington Examiner’s senior editorial writer, tweeted that while he didn’t think that the BLS cooked the numbers, it was rather the case of  ”a bunch of Dems [who] lied about getting jobs.”  The implication being that the Free Stuffers are an integral part of the poll skewing conspiracy, who hope to re-elect Obama by making the employment picture look rosier than it is, just to keep those checks a-comin’.

Now, all this could be passed off as just so much election year craziness, of no consequence after Nov. 6.  But with public trust in government already at a modern low, assailing the reputation of a critical government agency like the BLS, composed of career economists who have a history of serving both Republican and Democratic administrations in an exemplary, non-partisan manner— that is the real danger here.

TPM describes the BLS and its operations as follows:

For starters, the Bureau of Labor Statistics isn’t currently run by a political appointee.  For most of Obama’s term, the commissioner was a holdover appointed by President Bush.  The current acting commissioner John Gavin is a career BLS economist, not an Obama appointee.

The underlying data behind the BLS reports is also publicly released and used by analysts across the private sector and academia, meaning a conspiracy would have to survive scrutiny from trained economists of all political stripes.

Nor is there much time to cook the books at the top level if they wanted to.

Even if the Rethugs manage to lose this year’s election through sheer foot-shooting incompetence, they can point to success in their long range goal of undermining the public’s trust in government, as well as their trust in “facts.”  Their previous strategy of obstructionism and polarization is being augmented this election cycle by attacking the credibility of previously unassailable government institutions, as well as vital private and public polling agencies.

Even if they lose, they win.

Or so they think.

UPDATE (10/9):  Wacky Welch out at Reuters and Fortune Magazine.

Sez Fortune:

Welch said he will no longer contribute to Fortune following critical coverage of the former CEO of General Electric, saying he would get better “traction” elsewhere. On Friday, Welch suggested that the Obama administration, calling them “these Chicago guys,” had manipulated the monthly jobs report in order to make the economy look better than it actually is just weeks before the election. Welch has been battered by criticism since making the suggestion on Twitter.

Aw, another poor, picked upon billionaire.

Women, Religion, And Politics

 Posted by on March 14, 2012 at 6:06 PM
Mar 142012
 

Jesus revolutionized women’s religious role in early Judeo-Christian society

Though the mistreatment of American women is hardly comparable to their sisters born into repressive religious and tribal cultures found elsewhere on the globe,  their road to social equality has nonetheless been a long and difficult one.  Issues like suffrage (1920), contraception (1965), and abortion (1973) were hard fought and considered settled, such that remaining battles, like the fight for economic equality, could command a greater concentration of effort.

However, as documented here,  here, here, and here,  the last 18 months or so has seen a determined war against women’s reproductive rights. Waged mostly below the national radar at the state legislative level, it has been the result of a well organized campaign  run by ALEC and financed by the Koch Brothers.  In 2011 alone,  over 1100 anti-abortion laws were introduced in various states, 135 of which have been signed into law.

The issue was forced to the surface after the Obama Administration, pursuant to changes ushered in by The Affordable Care Act, mandated health insurance providers cover women’s reproductive services. The wingers went ballistic. Never missing an opportunity to play the victim card, they decried the mandate as a “war on religion”, a conceptual frame enhanced by opposition from The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

So great was the outcry that the GOP presidential primary candidates were forced to detour from economic and foreign policy matters to the rocky road of “values issues.”  At first, Rick Santorum was only too happy to engage. This was a slow hanging curve ball,  thrown right into his ideological wheelhouse. But after negative reactions to his comment that JFK‘s position on the separation of church and state made him want  “to throw up”  he scrambled back to his previous talking points. Mitt Romney has remained mainly mute consistent with his strategy to avoid religious talk that could put his Mormon faith in the spotlight. And serial adulterer and thrice married Newt Gingrich is hardly in a position to lead by moral example. 

Last week, the WAPO’s Lisa Miller took a look at how women are faring inside America’s church communities. In a piece titled Feminism’s final frontier? Religion, she writes:

The battle of the sexes, waged this election season with fulsome fury in the public space, is being fought in a much more painful, private sphere as well. In churches (and synagogues and mosques) across the land, women are still treated as second-class citizens. And because women of faith are increasingly breadwinners, single moms and heads of households, that diminished status is beginning to rankle.

There are churches in America in which women aren’t allowed to speak out loud unless they get permission from a man first.

There are churches (many of them) in which women aren’t permitted to preach from the pulpit.

There are churches in America where a 13-year-old boy has more authority than his mother.

“At church I had to hide my thoughts, questions and life choices,” says Susan, a woman who works as a therapist in Seattle and, after a lifetime of following Jesus, left Christianity. “I didn’t think I could do anything by myself, because as a Christian woman I’d learned that I needed a man to get places.”

It is not only Rush Limbaugh who demeans all women by calling one a “slut” and a “prostitute.” It’s Rick Santorum — that man of faith — who has stopped just short of calling working mothers selfish and who lumps all single moms together as his opposition, as he did in an interview with Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council last year.

“They look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote,” Santorum said. “So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two-parent families.” It is every single policy that puts so-called “small government” ahead of the health, welfare and education of children.

Recall what failed presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann said in 2006: “The Lord says be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands.”  Can anyone even imagine her fabulous husband Marcus as an éminence grise, running the country out of a closet in the Oval Office?

For most of the post-Christ era, religious women have been marginalized at best, burned at the stake as witches at worst. Much of that negative attitude can be attributed to Paul of Tsarsus, the intellectual author of what became Christianity– the teachings about Christ, in contradistinction to the teachings of Christ. Paul was an adherent of the “continence” or abstinence cult,  described by The Urantia Book as follows [bolds mine]:

89:3.6 It was only natural that the cult of renunciation and humiliation should have paid attention to sexual gratification. The continence cult originated as a ritual among soldiers prior to engaging in battle; in later days it became the practice of “saints.” This cult tolerated marriage only as an evil lesser than fornication.

Many of the world’s great religions have been adversely influenced by this ancient cult, but none more markedly than Christianity. The Apostle Paul was a devotee of this cult, and his personal views are reflected in the teachings which he fastened onto Christian theology: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” “I would that all men were even as I myself.” “I say, therefore, to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them to abide even as I.”

Paul well knew that such teachings were not a part of Jesus’ gospel, and his acknowledgment of this is illustrated by his statement, “I speak this by permission and not by commandment.” But this cult led Paul to look down upon women. And the pity of it all is that his personal opinions have long influenced the teachings of a great world religion…

In the alternate religious history novel cum movie The Da Vinci Code,  the co-protagonist is a young woman named Sophie Neveu, a Paris police cryptologist. (Sophie means Wisdom of God.) As the fable has it, Sophie is  the last direct descendant of Merovingian kings, the bloodline that carried the genetic inheritance of an alleged sexual liaison between Mary Magdalene  and Jesus.

The author, Dan Brown, gives us little information about Mary herself. The Urantia Book, however, provides a good amount of detail, presenting the former prostitute as the courageous leader of the women’s evangelistic  corps created by Jesus in the latter half of his public ministry. Perhaps the idea for the corps originated with Jesus when he was still a boy:

135:0.3   In company with his parents Jesus passed through the temple precincts on his way to join that group of new sons of the law who were about to be consecrated as citizens of Israel. He was a little disappointed by the general demeanor of the temple throngs, but the first great shock of the day came when his mother took leave of them on her way to the women’s gallery. It had never occurred to Jesus that his mother was not to accompany him to the consecration ceremonies, and he was thoroughly indignant that she was made to suffer from such unjust discriminationWhile he strongly resented this, aside from a few remarks of protest to his father, he said nothing. But he thought, and thought deeply, as his questions to the scribes and teachers a week later disclosed.

(Per Miller’s description above, notice how little has changed over the millenia re the treatment of woman in some houses of worship.)

The Urantia Book continues to follow Jesus’ development year by year as he traveled across much of the Roman Empire, drinking in the human experience  as it was lived during those times of relative peace and prosperity. In January AD 27,  he felt himself ready to embark on his public career as a religious teacher. For assistants,  he chose six Galileans who in turn chose six others that would be his companions and fellow teachers and ministers. After two years and two preaching tours,  Jesus established the women’s evangelistic corps in January AD 29 to accompany him, the apostles, and a growing number of disciples for his third and last preaching tour that culminated in his crucifixion some 15 months later. Continue reading »

Dancing With The Zombies

 Posted by on November 20, 2011 at 10:01 AM
Nov 202011
 

Right to Far Right: Pig Newton, Witless Mittless, Insane In The Mem-brain Cain, Ricky Y’all er Crazy Perry, Braindrain Bachmann, and Ron D.O.A. Paul.  If you want to smell their rotting flesh, you must click it.
(Original image)

Never intended to be anything more than a Koch Brothers cut-out for reversing the Tea Party‘s reputation for racism, Herman Cain was as surprised as anyone to find himself suddenly propelled to the top of the Grand Obstructionist Party‘s presidential primary.

Actually, not so surprising given a restive base that includes a large ABM (Anybody But Mittens) contingent, mostly composed of fundamentalist Christians who don’t believe that the Garden of Eden was located in Jackson County, Missouri; and of course the Teabaggers who condemn him for instituting O’Romney Care in Massachusetts, compelling all Bay Staters to become the Zombie slaves of the Medical Industrial Complex.

These discontents have given rise to a succession of straw dog candidates, from Donald Trump, to Michelle Bachmann, to Rick Perry. Each have experienced similar meteoric rises only to come crashing to earth when their utter unsuitability to occupy the highest office in the world was laid bare under the harsh light of media scrutiny.

 Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann star in a remake of Dance Of The Dead
Original Image

So desperate is the GOPer search for someone who could even stand on the same stage as President Obama that they have now lapped themselves in the process of elevating a candidate who was declared dead a mere five months ago— a man who has more political baggage than all the others put together:  Newt Gingrich. Recall that his whole staff quit en masse when it was obvious to them that he was more interested in pimping his numerous business interests than actually running a campaign.  As his prolific record of influence peddling inside the Beltway becomes better known among low information Teabaggers, it won’t be long before he returns to his political grave.

Meanwhile, Herman was busy this week once again sabatoging his own campaign.  Thursday, he issued a last minute cancellation of his interview with the New Hampshire Union Leader’s editorial board, citing scheduling conflicts. As The Hill reports it:

But Drew Cline, the Union Leader’s editorial page editor, seemed to blame Cain for cancelling.

Cain campaign said we’d do a one-hour interview. Then said no video taping. Then said interview only 20 mins. Then canceled,” Cline said on Twitter. That comment came nearly an hour after the interview was scheduled to take place, and it is apparent from Cline’s tweets that the paper was not immediately aware of the cancellation.

Despite his disastrous video taped interview with the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel the previous week where he proved his ignorance of current foreign policy issues like Libya,  yesterday Herman doubled down on the dumb by warning about Taliban plans to infiltrate the new, post-Qadaffi government.

Given his record so far, it’s not surprising that Herman is trying even harder to limit questions from the media. Like every other presidential candidate, whenever he moves  from place to place, the press presses him for information and comments.  His staff is known to form a protective barrier around him in an attempt to prevent such interaction.  One reading of his request this week for a Secret Service detail— no other GOPer candidate has one— is to insure that the press are kept at bay.

Herman is still topping some of the polls despite evidence that he tried to parlay his considerable power in the hospitality industry for sexual favors. Appearing on the David Letterman show Friday night, he objected to David’s reference to his four accusers.  ”How do you get to four?” asked Herman, feigning innocence. Letterman had a quick comeback: “Well, how many were there?  Nine, nine, nine?”

The latter is of course a reference to Cain’s signature and highly regressive “999” tax policy.  (For details, see NEIN NEIN NEIN! ; and Herman Cain: Bizarro World’s Robbin’ Hood (Koch Bros Update). Turns out that the source of that idea comes from the computer game, Sim City4.

Herman has also come up with some memorable lines, like, “I’m a Koch Brother from another mother”;  and most recently, “I’m a leader not a reader.

Had either of these lines been original to him, he would deserve props for having a clever delivery.  But the first came from the movie Rush Hour 4 with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.  Tucker, the only black man in a room full of Chinese hoods wearing all white suits, delivers the fateful line as he tries to come to Chan’s rescue.

The second comes from an episode of The Simpsons.

As Paul Constant over at The Slog remarks:

Cain is now using that “leader, not a reader” line at rallies to explain that America wants a businessman and not someone who knows about trivial bookish things like “foreign policy” and “making sense.”  This is pretty amazing:  A Republican presidential candidate is now openly mocking books and intelligence. Even Sarah Palin didn’t go full idiot like this.

To explain his chronic cognitive flatulence, Herman pleads “I got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”  Call it the early onset stage of Zombie-dumb.

 

 

 

Hotline To God

 Posted by on November 15, 2011 at 1:35 PM
Nov 152011
 

Moses has a Rick Perry “oops” moment

Is God a Republican? You might think so if you’re a GOPer running for president this year. No fewer than two former and five current GOP candidates have stated publicly that God has told them to run for higher office.

Theweek.com has compiled a list:

Herman Cain

On Saturday, at the Young Republican National Federation, GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain announced that God had told him to get into the race. “I prayed and prayed and prayed. I’m a man of faith,” Cain said. “And when I finally realized that it was God saying that this is what I needed to do, I was like Moses.”

Rick Perry

In July, Texas Gov. Rick Perry told Iowa’s Des Moines Register, “I’m getting more and more comfortable every day that this is what I’ve been called to do. This is what America needs.”

Rick Santorum

People have asked me…over these last 18 months whether I’m running, and I always say, ‘I’m walking.’ And I’m walking because I’m trying to walk in the path that God’s leading me in,” the socially conservative former Pennsylvania senator said of his 2012 presidential run/walk in a recent YouTube video.

Tim Pawlenty

The former Minnesota governor didn’t hear the call himself. It was his campaign manager, Nick Ayers, who said in an April email that he had planned to sit out the 2012 campaign, but God had called him to “a higher purpose” — getting Pawlenty elected. “Simply said, we need new leadership,” Ayers said. “I believe that Gov. Pawlenty is best positioned to provide that leadership.” Pawlenty dropped out of the race in August.

Michele Bachmann

Rep. Bachmann said in 2006 that she and her husband had fasted and prayed for days, awaiting a message from God about whether she should run for office. “God then called me to run for the United States Congress,” she said. “Who in their right mind would spend two years to run for a job that lasts for two years? You’d have to be absolutely a fool to do that. You are now looking at a fool for Christ. This is a fool for Christ.”

A fool, yes. But for Christ? I wouldn’t venture to opine.

During the 2008 election, Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee were similarly ‘called’:

Mike Huckabee

During the 2008 race for the GOP presidential nomination, the former Arkansas governor was asked what accounted for his rising poll numbers. “There’s only one explanation for it, and it’s not a human one,” he said. “It’s the same power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a crowd of 5,000 people.”

Sarah Palin

Steve Schmidt, a one-time top aide to Sen. John McCain, said in a controversial 60 Minutes interview that Sarah Palin believed it was “God’s plan” for McCain to choose her as his running mate in the 2008 presidential campaign.

So, just what is God up to? A number of explanations come to mind, but they can be summarized under two broad categories:

1. These people are delusional, ‘hearing’ what they want to hear, substituting their voice for God’s.

2. The communications are genuine.

Actually, there’s a third possibility, a variation of the first two. Not unlike Mel Brooks‘ Moses, something has gotten lost or rather garbled in the translation. What God is really telling them is that they shouldn’t be running FOR the presidency, but FROM the presidency.

Ours is a merciful God, after all.

Twilight Zone Candidates

 Posted by on October 27, 2011 at 4:56 PM
Oct 272011
 

Watching the likes of  Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Newt Gingrich these days, I feel like I’ve been ‘ported to The Twilight Zone. 

In the classic intro to the original Rod Serling series,  the shattering window pane is the Overton Window of radical right wing craziness, pushed off the edge of the political continuum by the Teabaggers and their Birchian ancestors . The ticking stopwatch is the countdown to the Republican National Convention in Tampa, FL. August 27, 2012, a mere ten months away.

Consider the following episodes, available for direct streaming into your consciousness from the wingnut dimension of The Zone , with your favorite GOPer candidates in the starring roles.

1. Michelle Bachmann

“Little Girl Lost” (1962) A little girl crawls through an interdimensional doorway that has appeared in her room.

Opening narration:

Missing: one frightened little girl. Name: Bettina Miller. Description: six years of age, average height and build, light brown hair, quite pretty. Last seen being tucked into bed by her mother a few hours ago. Last heard–aye, there’s the rub, as Hamlet put it. For Bettina Miller can be heard quite clearly, despite the rather curious fact that she can’t be seen at all. Present location? Let’s say for the moment–in the Twilight Zone.

The good news is that at the end of the episode, Bettina (played by a young Michelle Bachmann in her debut role as a media celebrity) is rescued with the help of a physicist friend who knows how to connect the dots between dimensional wormholes. A half century later, we find out that the Bachmann character really returned missing the rational part of her brain.

GOPers desperately reaching into an alternative reality for a viable presidential candidate

2. Rick Perry

“Walking Distance” (1959) While visiting his boyhood hometown, a middle-aged executive (Gig Young) finds himself in the past.

Putatively, the favorite episode of producer J.J Abrams (Lost, Star Trek).  Rick Perry dreams of returning to the glory days of antebellum Texas when people were free to write “Niggerhead” anywhere they wanted.

3. Mitt Romney

“The Four of Us Are Dying” (1960) A con man changes his face to make it look like anyone he chooses.

Not much to add there. A man for all seasons and constituencies, Flipper’s shape-shifting abilities on the issues are legendary.

4. Herman Cain

“Hocus Pocus and Frisby” (1962)  A teller of tall tales ( Andy Devine) meets a group of aliens.

Herman as Frisby owns a pizza joint…

…in a small town, and the townsfolk know him well for the tall tales he spins of his experiences, from his heroism in war to his inventions to his advice to presidents and captains of industry, all of which he fabricates. His friends gather in the store to hear him spin his stories, which they find very entertaining, and he often accompanies himself on his harmonica.

One evening, as he is alone at closing time, creatures from another planet, disguised as humans, abduct him to their spaceship. They want Frisby to add to their collection of specimens from other planets. The aliens accept his exaggerated tales at face value… Frisby admits to them that he is simply a shameless liar, but the aliens have no concept of lying, and ask him to just sit quietly and wait for departure…. After two or three aliens are rendered senseless by [his] harmonica, the remaining ones permit Frisby to escape. Running back to the general store, he finds all his friends waiting to throw him a surprise birthday party. When he tries to tell them what happened, they enjoy a laugh at what they of course take to be another of Frisby’s tall tales.

Some people, not to mention aliens, will believe anything you tell them

5. Rick Santorum

“Static” (1961)  A man’s old radio plays programs from the past that only he can hear.

Rick Santorum, truly a frothy man out of time. If he could only substitute the Old Testament’s Leviticus for today’s penal codes, we wouldn’t have to worry about the whole gay thing.

Ed Lindsay…is dismayed over the mindless and worthless programs and commercials emanating from the television set…He retrieves from the basement the old radio which, in his younger and happier days, he enjoyed as a source of relaxation and entertainment. Installing it in his joyless room, he is astonished to hear the radio transmit 1930s/40s music and programs…He tries to tell the others about the miraculous broadcasts, but they only hear static. What’s more, when he tries to contact the radio station…he discovers the station went off the air (and out of business) 13 years before…

6. Ron Paul

“On Thursday We Leave for Home”   (1963)  The leader of a group of spaceship crash survivors tries to maintain his control over his people when they are finally rescued after many years.

One has to wonder what the man who many consider to be the founding father of the original pre-Koch Brothers Tea Party must feel knowing that the movement he birthed is unceremoniously making him one of the Left Behind.

Thirty years before…an expedition to the hellish Desert planet V9-Gamma was stranded, and the people had no choice but to begin their own small settlement there…When a rescue mission from Earth finally arrives, Benteen is at first as jubilant as the others, but then he begins to raise objections to leaving the asteroid behind and tries to persuade the others to stay... As the ship prepares for takeoff, Benteen pretends his people are still there. Then, remembering the beauty of Earth, he realizes that he wants to go home. He rushes out screaming for the ship to come back, but it is too late. He is now stranded on V9-Gamma for the rest of his life, completely alone in the barren, lifeless deserts.

7. Newt Gingrich

“The Last Night of a Jockey” (1963)  A jockey banned from horse racing for fixing races gets his wish of becoming a “big man” by a man claiming to be his ego.

Dumped as Speaker of the House over ethical issues by his own party…

All he ever wanted was to be respected. He argues with his alter-ego, trying to justify his life and his actions, but the alter-ego knows better. Grady is offered the chance to change his life with one final wish. Grady says his greatest wish is to be big. After Grady wakes from his nap he finds his wish has been granted…He’s “big”.

…A telephone call from the racing commission informs Grady that he has been given another chance – he has been reinstated and can jockey again. We hear the alter-ego laughing mockingly. Why? Because now it’s too late: unbeknownst to Grady, he has grown even larger — he is now not only too tall to ride a horse, but barely fits in his own apartment! Grady screams “I’m too big! I can’t ride!” Devastated, the now-giant Grady wrecks his room and pleads with the alter-ego, “Please! Please! Please make me small, please! I’ll never ask for anything again. Please make me small!”

The alter-ego replies, “You are small, Mr. Grady. You see, every time you won an honest race, that’s when you were a giant. But right now, they just don’t come any smaller.”

When you have the likes of Pat Robertson, the embodiment of Uber Political-Religious Fundamentalism; Karl Rove , the evil genius behind two Bush presidencies; Mississippi’s redneck governor and former GOP Chairman Haley Barbour and former FL governor Jeb Bush warning the current crop of GOP presidential pretenders that they are tacking way too far to the right, you know you have crossed over into The Republican Twilight Zone.

It’s like being called “ugly” by the alien in the movie Predator.

New Teabagger GOP mascot, Predator, after eliminating his elephantine predecessor

Finally, Jon Stewart interprets the reaction of the GOP establishment to its own presidential candidates:

“If you tell people what we honestly believe, an electoral majority of those people will freak the fuck out!”

 

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart