Fourth-Degree Burns Not Torture

WASHINGTON D.C. — An apparently tough as nails Sean Hannity of Fox News has personally undergone what he called a “fair and balanced interrogation technique” to prove a point: fourth-degree burns are not torture.

IT’S NOT TORTURE

. . .WHEN DICK CHENEY DOES IT [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DJI508KaaY[/youtube]

Oh, Liz. . . Is that Water Coming Outa Your Nose, Or are you just happy to be alive?

If Liz Cheney were captured by an enemy, thrown into a dark and windowless cell, strung from the ceiling by shackles, kept awake for weeks on end, thrown headlong against a plywood wall thirty times in a row and waterboarded 183 times, would she really emerge from that ordeal and say she wasn’t tortured? I mean: really? Let’s get real here: she’s a fraud defending a monster.

The Worst Type of Coward

Beatings, partial drownings, slamming detainees against walls, punching, kicking, poisonous stinging insects, forced nudity, sleep deprivation, profound disruption of sensory input, exposure to extreme cold and heat, all of it was so very necessary in prying loose information the psychopathic former vice president claims would have been used to keep us snug and secure at night when we climb into our cozy beds, and he slides back into his box of sacred dirt. . .