Centrally Scrutinized: Again. And Again.

Many of you have realized, at last, that imaginary guitar notes, and imaginary vocals, exist only in the imagination of the imaginer… and ultimately, who gives a fuck, anyway…

Welcome To The United States

Zappa Immigrant Welcome To The United StatesDo you have a communicable disease?  Physical or mental disorder? Are you a drug abuser or addict?  Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude, or a violation related to a controlled substance, or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?  Have you ever been a controlled substance trafficker? Are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?  Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage? Or terrorist activities? Or genocide?  Or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Rainer Römer: Ladies and gentlemen, here he goes, Peter Rundel, he seems to be disgusted. Whatever. Ridero ridera! Heute fängt die Fastnacht aa’ Ha ha ha! LAUGH NOW! (HA HA HA HA HA!) Be quiet! Von seiner Werkbank zu uns heute Abend hergekommen ist unser Hermann Kretzschmar wolle mer’n reinlasse? Laugh now! (HA HA HA HA HA!)

Welcome to the United States!

This form must be completed by every nonimmigrant visitor not in possession of a visitor’s visa.

Type or print legibly in pen in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. USE ENGLISH.

Item 7—If you are entering the United States by land, enter LAND in this space. (LAND!) If you are entering the United States by ship, enter, unh-unh, SEA in this space.

Do any of the following apply to you? (Answer Yes or No)

(No! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!)

A. Do you have a communicable disease; (COUGH NOW! Coughs . . . ) physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict?

Tell me, Bill, Yes or No. (No) Louder. (No!)

B. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes! Yes, sir! Yes! No! No! No!)

Or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes or No) Thank you!

C. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes)

Thank you very much! And welcome to the United States!

 

Original photograph from Chaplin’s 1917 film, The Immigrant:

Charlie The Immigrant

 

 

STILL ABSOLUTELY FREE

 A LOT OF PEOPLE don’t bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, “Ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?” But the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS, WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A NEW RAPPORT.  You and your new little green & yellow buddies . . .  grooving together!  OH NO!  Maintaining your coolness together!  Worshiping together in the church of your choice!  ONLY IN AMERICA. Woh-oh-oh-ah-agh-h . . .

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=258IAiOtnuw[/youtube]

Encino Mammalian Protrusion Cotillion Performed

The Encino Mammalian Protrusion Cotillion got their areolas all bumpy-like Wednesday, as they gathered for their annual Zappadan celebration. The Cotillion front row left 2 right: Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa;  back row: Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, Frank Zappa, and Frank Zappa. (Click it.) ENCINO—  Zappadan dress-up parties are …

Zappa’s Baby Snake Oil Elixir

16 OZ size Elixir, especially handy in the kitchen, garage, and light industry.

LOADED IN THE WHITE ZONE

Honestly? Appliantologists f’n freak me out. But if they want to celebrate life, more power to them.