The Pinocchio Principle

The Leader Boner
Do these men look normal to you?  Not everyone can see the elephant-like trunks on these three Republicans.  But anyone with a wit of independent discernment can see that John Boehner— and many other Republicans—are suffering from the Pinocchio Principle. (If you want to sniff it good, you must click it.)

The name Pinocchio comes from the Tuscan word for “pine nut.” Pinocchio is the central character in the 1883 story of a little wooden puppet boy who wants to get real— by being brave, truthful, and unselfish. But Pinocchio is beset by a peculiar and telling affliction: when he behaves cowardly, selfishly, or untruthfully, his nose grows.

This affliction is known as the Pinocchio Principle, (here after, “the PP”) and on occasion, the Peter Principle, (a complimentary confusion with Dr. Lawrence Peter’s “Peter Principle“).  The condition manifests early in politicians. It’s an unhappy coincidence for the Republican Party, whose mascot has long been a bull elephant. Modern depictions are usually emasculated icons sans tusks, but still feature prominent trunks.

Petty, lying hypocrites, as plain as the thing on their face.  But they didn’t always look that way.

And therein lies the irony of life imitating art; Republicans are increasingly characterized by their burgeoning Pinocchio protuberances.  In an overtly orchestrated attempt to destroy the president, his party, and his policies at any cost—not excepting the complete ruination of our country— the Republicans have embraced a particularly virulent strain of hypocrisy the likes of which is without modern corollary.  The party of “family values” has become the lock-step party of “NO!” values;  has become the purveyors of lies, selfishness, cowardice, and designing hypocrisy;  and it couldn’t be plainer than the increasing length and grotesqueries on their sordid faces.

“WHAAAEH!”  Dick’s schnozzle speaks for itself.

The message is clear. Beware the politics of the Republicans: hypocrisy born of prejudice and nurtured in enslavement to the traditional bondage of fear and hate.  Beware their politics, and beware their trunks.  If these men and women look normal to you— if you can’t yet see them as they really are— consider re-visiting the values of honesty, truthfulness, and bravery;  the golden rule;  the ideals of human brotherhood and loving service.

In the end, it’s also worth remembering the one thing that pissed God off more than anything else while incarnated in the flesh here as Jesus of Nazareth: hypocrisy. Many, if not all of these Republicans profess to follow the teachings of Jesus.  For their part, it may prove instructive to ponder his words:

“My Father looks into the hearts of men and judges by their inner longings and their sincere intentions.  In the great day of the kingdom judgment, many [of you] will say to me, ‘Did we not prophesy in your name and by your name do many wonderful works?’  But I will be compelled to say to them, ‘I never knew you;  depart from me you who are false teachers.”
—The Urantia Book


    1. Ha; I’m not surprised you see schnozzle people, BlueNose; you appear eminently qualified. ;>)
      As Slansky points out, McCain is such an “unsavory” little tool of a man; I hope he finally loses his senate seat this time around; that would be the Coup de grâce of his disgusting career.

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