Bed Bugs Infest CPAC Convention

Teabaggers flex their political muscles at this year’s CPAC convention

(Sung to the melody of “Bad Boys”)

Bed Bugs, Bed Bugs–
Whatcha gonna do,
Whatcha gonna do
When they come for you?
Bed Bugs, Bed Bugs…

I can’t help but wonder if the manager of the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in Washington D.C., where The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) conference is being held this week, didn’t give them a huge break on pricing, hoping that the vitriolic blood of today’s “conservatives” was so toxic that it would rid his hotel of the scourge of the blood sucking bed bugs that have defied all previous attempts at eradication.

(According to, the pesky insects have developed an immunity equal to 264 times the previous level of pesticides that, in the past,  had proven effective in killing them.)

For the benefit of all, let’s hope that the Marriott CPAC/bed bug honey trap scheme succeeds. We should know shortly, pending the publication of an updated CDC map showing the current state of national bed bug infestation.

Despite my hopeful optimism, however, I won’t be surprised to see accelerated outbreaks in Arizona, Texas, the Midwest, and the Redneck South. What passes for conservatism these days is the perfect vehicle for a Biblical style plague, a political apocalypse brought on by an era of selfishness not seen since the time of the ancient pharaohs.

Watcha gonna do if/when they come for you?

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