Stick It Up Your Ass, Little Man

Watch this, America
This watch, I got here, was bought by your great-grandfather during the First World War; he was a Little middle class Man, too…

Hello, Little Man…  Sure heard a bunch about you… lately, anyway.  You see, I’m a good friend of your little president.  Being a Little Man, you’ll never have to experience this for yourself, but when a Big Man like me, and your little president are in the situation we’re in, you take on certain responsibilities of the other.  Now, of course, if it were just me, I wouldn’t be talking to you at all;  I’d just as soon totally ignore you and your stupid little problems with jobs and wages and health insurance and safety nets.  But your little president has insisted that we deal with all this together, that there be some kind of “shared sacrifice”. . .  or somethin’.

So, Little Middle Class Man, I got somethin’ for ya.

This watch, I got here, was first bought hook, line, and sinker by your great-grandfather during the First World War.  He was a Little middle class Man, too, and he wore this important bit of propaganda on his sleeve every day of that war until the power elite decided he had done his duty.  Later, he passed it on to your grand-dad, wh0 was also called upon by us to once again go over seas and fight the Germans; this time we called it World War II.

Anyway, long story short—  This watch—  this clever bit of propaganda— got your grand-dad killed.  But eventually this same uncomfortable hunk of ideology was foisted upon, uh,  given to your dad, who wore it— up his ass— for five long years; because, well, like so many of you Little People in the middle class, he just wasn’t very bright.

You see, the way your dad was taught to see it, this watch was your “birthright”— a silly-assed notion we sold, and continue to sell to the Little People— that living in poverty so the rich can get richer, fighting amongst yourselves over a constant, fearful flow of hyperbolic propaganda spewed upon you by the media tools of the power elite— my employers—  continually getting yourselves and others tortured, maimed and killed in various commodity wars that preserve our way of life, so that we might maintain and increase our obscene amounts of wealth and power— …

Well.  I think you get it by now, don’t you.  This is the Real America.
This is the American Way.  This is your birthright, Little Man.

Now it’s your turn to stick it up your ass.


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