Meet The New Clowns, Same As The Old Clowns

A Garrulous Guide To The 2016 Republican Presidential Trainwreck

BUTTS ON THE GROUND

Bhoener ButtsYeah that’s McConnell and yeah he’s dead, and Putterer of the House, Boner Boehner, reeks the Press.

WASHINGTON—   House Putterer John Boehner (R-OH.M.G.) was ragging to the press earlier today about President Barack Obama’s strategy against ISIS, saying “butts on the ground” would be needed, because, well, that’s just how “we roll.”  He was reluctant to say just whose butts he intends to roll into harm’s way.

“At the end of the day, uh, I think it’s gonna take more than, uh, airstrikes and billions of dollars to drive them outta there,” Boehner said.  “At some point, somebody’s spawn has gotta get their butts blown off.”

Reporter Mal Aprop of BSN asked if that meant American butts.

“Listen, the president doesn’t want to do that, because he doesn’t have the stomach for killing, no matter what the reason.  But if I were the president, I probably wouldn’t have talked about what I wouldn’t do, or, uh, you know, what I might do.  Or even what I would do do.   But where I come from, War always means butts on the ground, so somebody’s butts have to be there.”

“So you would recommend putting American butts on the ground, then?” asked Aprop.

“We have no choice,” Boehner sobbed, dabbing away tears.  “These are Conan-like barbarians.   They said they wanna kill us.  So unless we all just wanna lay down and die, we’re gonna hafta pay the price and, uh.. send some more of your children’s butts over there to die.”

Innocence Of Muslims’ Sam ImBecile: Agent Provocateur?

Protesters laying siege to the US Embassy in Yemen  Not to diminish the seriousness of the conflict currently gripping the Middle East in response to the release of the Islamophobic film “Innocence of Muslims,” but the guy who is responsible for it is, in addition to being a neocon Clash of Civilizations bomb throwing knuckle dragging jerkwad, just another convicted …

MISS ME YET?

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says:  Fool me once, shame on… … shame on you.  Yi-fool me you can’t git fooled again.” —George W. Bush, Sept. 17, 2002

Deficits Don’t Matter (Update; 2)

“What kind of irresponsible lunatic would vote for everyone of these misguide fiscal time bombs?”

Change It Forward

The Occupy movement will either mature quickly into a strong political movement, as it should, or disintegrate into nothing more than a paragraph in the next generation of American history books. The choice is OURS.