Tag: Sarah palin

NIGHTmares IN WHITE SATIN

Imagine waking up reeking with sweat, trembling, and screaming, because you just saw First Princess Carrie Prejean leering at you over the chubby shoulder of President-Queen-elect Sarah Palin, while Mittens Romney, Second Princess, in full evening gown drag with magic undies ridin’ high, fawns over her other shoulder… and that roaring chainsaw sound permeating this paralyzing visage? It’s none other than the First Dude’s ATV, riding roughshod over Michelle and the kids’ vegetable garden…

Larry King Gets All Rogue-etty

Carrie Prejean has dictated a book to a writer who shall remain nameless. (Apologies to Rene Magritte) Like my friend Propagandee, I avoid Larry King like H1N1.  Prop says, “the man seems incapable of asking, let alone pressing, a follow-up question to guests who cling to their talking points like a drowning man clings to a life preserver.” But as …

When Teh SOCIALISM Comes!

When Teh SOCIALISM comes… Teh Great White Stoopid will be dressed up like rodeo clowns and forced to live in feed lots with the other cattle. Right to Far Right: Rush Limbaugh (with ginormous man-boobs), Michele Bachmann, Jim DeMint (with banjo), Bill O’Reilly, Max Baucus (chicken suit), Glenn Beck, Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell (in back), Rick Santorum, (seated), Sarah Palin …

Death Panels: Follow The Money

Okay, last straw. Fuck Chuck Grassley and the slug he rode in on. (That goes for DINO Senator Claire McKaskill too, who just appeared on Hardball excusing his sorry ass.) Whatever reason President Obama might have had for allowing this guy to hold health care reform hostage via his position on the Senate Finance Committee just vanished. Grassley spells “bi-partisan” …

AUGUST WINGNUT AT THE BIG CHICKEN

Wingnuts are voracious eaters; they loves them some fried stuff. I’m a voracious reader; so when I happened upon a shiny new copy of WINGNUT magazine in the restroom of The Big Chicken in Marietta, Georgia, I did the Right thing: I totally appropriated it.

This Week In Teh Crazy (7-25-09)

Appearing more diseased and deranged than usual, the defacto head of the Rethuglican party, Bloviator Rush Limbaugh, sporting a positively motivational 65mm hole in his forehead, stunned “inspired” dittoheads by repeatedly plunging a Nazi Air Force officer’s sword through his thorax. “Now,” explained The Blove, “this would kill your average Obamabot-pantywaist liberl; but as you can see, I remain unfazed.”

“There Is Absolutely No Plan”

Ex-governor and potential leader of the free world, Sarah Palin made it clear: “I cannot express enough there is no plan after July 26. There is absolutely no plan.”